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Wedding gifts , what to spend

(61 Posts)
Floradora9 Wed 17-Jan-18 10:53:10

I see a thread on MSE ( Money Savings Expert ) from someone who had kept a spreadsheet of the gifts they received on their wedding and the poster asks if they should spend the same amount of money when these people then married . The views seem to be that circumstances change so they should give what is appropriate now . I wonder if anyone else still has their list of wedding guests and what they received from them . I still have mine 52 years after the event . What a lot of Pyrex , sheets and cutlery there was . No wedding lists in shops at that time and I would say the average gift cost about five pounds though some were much more. I still use some of them .

Teetime Wed 17-Jan-18 15:12:28

No presents for second marriage 39 years ago. First wedding all I remember is 12 pyrex casseroles - hate pyrex always have.

Nanawind Wed 17-Jan-18 16:27:09

Teetime I have just noticed on a for sale site local to myself pyrex dishes are being sold for up to £12 each.???

Daddima Wed 17-Jan-18 16:28:41

We were married in 1973. I remember that my 6 colleagues ( all of whom were going to the wedding) each contributed £5 towards the purchase of a fridge. Essie felt this was miserly, and took me to town to buy a coffee grinder and a food processor!

ninathenana Wed 17-Jan-18 16:33:16

I didn't keep a record but I remember we had a list but still ended up with 3 wooden spice racks.

paddyann Wed 17-Jan-18 16:40:39

we got some lovely things including our sitting room furniture from Habitat..the "in" place to shop and a food processor and blender that has been in use every day of the 43 years since.Our best present though was money from a neighbour with instructions to buy a fridge freezer ...sadly we got waylaid on the way to the electricity shop and spent the money on a chess set instead.The neighbour thought we were bonkers but all these years later and heavens knows how many fridges and freezers we still have and cherish our chess set.I still use a fair number of wedding gifts including vases and glasswear and even some cutlery and I remember who gave us each one its nice to remember the person behind each gift

M0nica Wed 17-Jan-18 16:47:56

A quiet wedding with only close family (no reason, just preferred it that way), so few wedding presents and never had a list.

Cherrytree59 Wed 17-Jan-18 20:16:06

Pyrex pyrex and more pyrexgrin
We did have a slow cooker that lasted 35 years!
Not sure how long the new one will lasthmm.

My grandparents gave us crystal glasses and decanters which are packed away in the loft.

Christinefrance Thu 18-Jan-18 10:01:11

I remember getting fish knives and forks !! who uses those now ?

AlexG Thu 18-Jan-18 10:03:22

My parents bought us cutlery which is still in use every day and my parents in law bought us china which has long gone. But my daughter has recently bought some of the same china in a charity shop which she uses as it reminds her of her childhood! Can only remember a tray, which is still in use and towels as other gifts. But this was in 1967 so a long time ago. Second time married in 2003 and no gifts as we didn't tell anyone until afterwards

GrannyO Thu 18-Jan-18 10:13:53

I conscientiously wrote down who gave what wedding present, but only to be quite sure I'd written each person a thank you letter. I was grateful for each and every one.

Suebcrafty Thu 18-Jan-18 10:19:43

We got married in 1976 and didn’t have a wedding list,don’t think they existed then,and we ended up with 6 toast racks,9 sets of egg cups,some gorgeous Christy towels(I worked on a soft furnishing dept in a department store) 3 Pyrex dishes(one with a stand) and a set of saucepans. Never used the egg cups or toast racks,they are probably still up in the loft.

Teddy123 Thu 18-Jan-18 10:24:31

I had a small wedding and remember one particular present - for the wrong reasons!
Received from a friend of my sister, a box of linen serviettes which remained unopened for many years. Eventually I thought I may as well use them ..., opened the box and out fell the original gift card on the occasion of my guests marriage, hidden away in the folds of a serviette! Let's call it recycling. Clearly she didn't like them either ....

Kim19 Thu 18-Jan-18 10:43:45

When I married 50 years ago I specifically asked for no gifts. One reason is I had a fully furnished flat and we were going to be living abroad immediately. Some people simply couldn't cope with this and donated accordingly. Two gifts I found 'strange' were a breakfast set and three novelty chopping boards. Do you know, the breakfast set was used to death and the chopping boards still cheer my kitchen and are used daily. I do also still have solemio blankets, a clothes airer and scales on which I weigh myself daily. Use of these ancient gifts always inspires happy smiley thoughts of the donor. I'm sure I have other items but these are the ones that spring to mind.

sharkgirl Thu 18-Jan-18 10:44:14

I seem to remember an abundance of Ravenhead glass wear, it was pretty indestructible and M and S plastic kitchenware, bowls, sink tidy etc., amd Tupperware of course. Still have (and use) the M and S melamine tray though. How times change. Wouldn't have dreamt of asking for half the high price/luxury items that appear on lists now.

Lilyflower Thu 18-Jan-18 10:48:10

When we announced our wedding the MIL-to-be went around her side of the family and made it be known that we wanted things like fridges and other expensive, big ticket items. We had not asked for these at all. The IL's were very generous themselves and bought us a twin tub washing machine themselves but the others bought nothing like they were requested by my DH's mother. I remember a set of six coffee cups with yellow roses on them. We still have them but they have never been used. My father's present was a set of steak knives and my mother bought us a pressure cooker but explained that she wasn't going to buy me a birthday present (the week before the wedding) as well.

We went to a wedding this summer where the bride and groom had had the actual ceremony the year before and a big, 'posh' reception with a blessing in London this year. They requested donations to charity instead of presents but we buy pressies so gave them £100 in vouchers and the children (who both have good jobs) gave £50 each of the same shop's vouchers so that the happy couple could have a nice time choosing something good.

My own child is getting married next year and they are going to ask for contributions towards a honeymoon which, apparently, is par for the course these days. They might end up spending the present money on paying the wedding bills as it's so expensive.

I think this is an interesting set of wedding gifts which reflects changing social mores and attitudes, not to mention the increasing prosperity of our present times.

Urmstongran Thu 18-Jan-18 10:51:20

I supppose we ought to remember that a fiver ‘back in the day (we too married in 1974) represented about a third of an average secretary’s weekly wage! It helps put gift buying in context! A third of a weekly wage now..... ??

GrammaH Thu 18-Jan-18 10:52:50

Pyrex, trays & table mats! Still have most of them nearly 37 years later!

Hilltopgran Thu 18-Jan-18 11:00:44

Married in 1970, yes we did have a list as did all pur friends at the time. It was not lodged at a shop but friends and family would ask to see it and cross off what they wanted to buy us. People also just gave us what they wanted, as we were starting with nothing everything was welcome, even the set of glasses that came free on a local offer! I still have the list of gifts I kept to write thank you letters.

Presents were not expected to cost a lot, wages were not high then. Today the usual request is money via a wedding site. It is an easy get out, so I happily pay up a lot more than our wedding gifts costs!

EllenT Thu 18-Jan-18 11:12:52

First time round in the 70s we mostly had china, glasses & linen but surprisingly for the time, no Pyrex. Best present then was a casserole from my then sis-in-law accompanied by very practical recipes for her own trusted favourites. Second time was very quiet so no big presents.

quizqueen Thu 18-Jan-18 11:17:16

I'm still using some of the mugs bought by people we got friendly with on holiday the year before our wedding. Now, sadly, I've lost contact with them and can't even remember their surname to look them up but still wonder what they are up to when I have a cup of tea. I don't remember having loads of the same presents (1976) and nothing was expensive but I do remember being grateful as we were starting out with nothing. You can never have enough tea towels and pyrex is such good quality, it lass forever.

coast35 Thu 18-Jan-18 11:17:59

It was 14 cheese boards we got in 1970 and my husband hated cheese. We didn’t have a wedding list for my daughters wedding, just asked if people would donate to Cancer Research since she had cervical cancer the year before and we were so grateful to have her alive. Going to a wedding these days I spend £80–£100. More if we know the people well. We try to make the present very personal to the recipients. Recently one of our friends who has had his own palatial home for years and was marrying a wealthy lady asked my husband to be his best man.
We gave them a very good quality digital photo frame and embroidered towels that said potting shed on one and greenhouse on the other because they are both very keen gardeners. Others attending the wedding gave them vouchers for special restaurants or special experiences.

sarahellenwhitney Thu 18-Jan-18 12:07:30

Generous gifts from my side of the family but not a penny from the other side. Can't recall any from friends either. This was the late fifties. How times change.

Smithy Thu 18-Jan-18 12:13:40

I can remember getting Pyrex dishes as well. And blankets - there was definitely a green cellular type one. There were nylon sheets (ugh!') Quite popular at that time though. I can also remember getting £15 from my in laws, plus a load of unwanted furniture, most of which I ditched in favour of the salerooms, where I could at least choose! I can imagine the couple's faces now if given those sort of things. A lot of couples now have been together for some time when they marry and want money to fund their honeymoons. Its quite usual to get a little printed card with your invitation, telling you the best gift is your presence at the ceremony, but if you'd like to give, cash is most acceptable.

winifred01 Thu 18-Jan-18 13:20:00

My lovely FIL bought us a twin tub washing machine,it was 1959 and was about £100. So generous. My mother said she would buy us a present when we got a house. Got the house but didn't get a present!