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How would you react to an unsolicited compliment ?

(54 Posts)
Wobblybits Sat 07-Apr-18 21:50:34

A mature lady that served us at a cafe was extremely attractive, I was very tempted to make a compliment but thought better of it. How would you react to an unsolicited compliment ?

M0nica Sat 07-Apr-18 21:53:04

Not again, Wobblybits. Please change the tune.

Wobblybits Sat 07-Apr-18 21:57:08

That was a serious question, perhaps you should not try to read more into it that was said. I guess you have reminded me why I stopped posting in Gransnet. Time to go again.

Bridgeit Sat 07-Apr-18 21:58:46

I would be pleased if a little embarrassed if I received a compliment.

Eglantine21 Sat 07-Apr-18 22:01:11

How attractive are you?

Bridgeit Sat 07-Apr-18 22:04:33

Depends which scale of comparison, compared to a ferret, I’m not too bad I suppose,but perhaps not to ferret lovers!😁

Chewbacca Sat 07-Apr-18 22:06:51

Wobbly if any personal comments had been made to me, complimentary or otherwise, whilst I was at work (as that lady was), I'd have been deeply embarrassed. In fact, I'd have avoided your table for the duration of your stay. Please don't do it.

Situpstraight Sat 07-Apr-18 22:07:22

you thought twice and didn’t say anything, good move.

Served us? Hopefully not you and your OH.

Bridgeit Sat 07-Apr-18 22:11:26

Am I missing something?

Iam64 Sat 07-Apr-18 22:13:39

I support and agree with MOnica’s comment.
If I take the OP at face value, accept his response to MOnica that his OP was a serious question, my response is -
I don’t like personal comments from men I don’t know.
The OP itself set my teeth on edge.

Cherrytree59 Sat 07-Apr-18 22:37:54

And your
unsolicited compliment would have been??

ginny Sat 07-Apr-18 22:44:56

To be honest if that lady has ever seen your posts on here, she would be avoiding you like the plague.

fiorentina51 Sat 07-Apr-18 22:47:32

Not something I would welcome I'm afraid.
On the other hand, as my job involves me working with the general public, I always appreciate any relevant compliments involving my work.

Eglantine21 Sat 07-Apr-18 22:57:58

Sorry Bridgeit, I was asking the OP. I'm fed up with men who have an over inflated idea of themselves!

MawBroon Sat 07-Apr-18 23:13:14

You can @asa woman and in some circumstances, admire an item of clothing or jewellery on another woman, but not man to woman unless you are close friends.
Why?
It is just not done. I would certainly feel uncomfortable and personal remarks or compliments are simply not appropriate in the workplace. At best they are patronising (“ You look very pretty today my dear” 😱 ) at worst suggestive and inappropriate.
I am glad you thought better of it.

MissAdventure Sat 07-Apr-18 23:20:12

I would find it a bit smarmy, to be honest.

FarNorth Sat 07-Apr-18 23:31:10

Aren't compliments usually unsolicited?

Iam64 Sun 08-Apr-18 07:59:37

FarNorth, if you meet up with family or close friends and a man you know well, feel emotionally and physically at ease with says something like " Great to see you again, your'e looking well" , that's friendly and appropriate. If you're a 'mature lady' serving someone in a cafe and the man makes personal comments about your appearance, that is entirely inappropriate.
Wobbly bits - the name says it all.

Luckygirl Sun 08-Apr-18 08:09:12

Is this the viagra talking?

Jane10 Sun 08-Apr-18 08:12:02

Awww give him a chance everyone! At least he's checking with us.
For my part if anyone offered me a compliment I'd be deeply suspicious but that's because I've never had any before and most certainly don't expect any now!

Situpstraight Sun 08-Apr-18 08:16:43

jane oh yes, he’s checking with us. His other thread was asking what women keep in their bras..........

I sense a desire to post on a (mainly) female website with inappropriate threads, he’s probably sitting giggling somewhere like a naughty schoolboy.

He should grow up and go to back to his shed.

Luckygirl Sun 08-Apr-18 08:43:26

I remember this gentleman in a previous incarnation, when he was suffering severely with depression. I too suffered a similar fate and his kind posts and supportive messages were a great help to me.

I know that incessant sexual innuendo can be tedious, but let's cut him a bit of slack. That is not the whole of who he is.

Elegran Sun 08-Apr-18 08:49:58

Wobblybits You have been posting under this name and your previous one long enough that (unless we have joined since you took your last sabbatical) we should know that you are actually a nice bloke. It is just that you can't restrain your impulse to add a bit of oomph to a sometimes rather staid mostly-female forum by posting something naughty. I wish you could, because mostly you add a welcome male perspective to conversations, but I am afraid you must have a death wish!

gillybob Sun 08-Apr-18 08:55:13

Well I can’t see a problem with the OP which seems a genuine question . (The bra thread was surely just a light hearted joke and not rude/dirty at all).

I can’t take compliments of any kind, ever . Not even from those I know and love. Having said that I’m not in the least bit attractive so wouldn’t get them anyway.

I think attractive people know that are and are probably used to being told so.

Jane10 Sun 08-Apr-18 09:07:44

I think you're gorgeous gillybob!
Elegran is right as usual about Wobbly. He was very kind and supportive to me when I was upset and worried once. Cut him some slack people!