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Trusting friends

(37 Posts)
Sleepygran Fri 23-Nov-18 19:14:41

I went away with a friend a couple of days ago,home now, and the hotel have messaged me to say they are charging me on my card for a mug which went missing from the room. I haven't taken it and I never would.
I trust my friend but she did comment on how nice the mugs were when we first arrived.
(Her husband once stole something when we went out for a meal and I was horrified) To the best of my knowledge she has never stolen anything and I've been away with her before many times.
When I next see her should I mention that the hotel have charged me?

EllanVannin Fri 23-Nov-18 19:17:31

Yes I'd mention it even if it's to ask if it was broken, as a reason for the charge. Act daft.

mumofmadboys Fri 23-Nov-18 19:34:03

I would casually mention that the hotel charged you for a mug they claim'we have lost' and see if anything is forthcoming. Could you mention it over the phone- may be easier.

Melanieeastanglia Fri 23-Nov-18 20:12:41

I think I'd mention it. Mumofmadboys's suggestion of mentioning it over the phone sounds good and I'd do that in your position.

MissAdventure Fri 23-Nov-18 20:28:34

I'd throw her a lifeline by saying "I don't even remember breaking it, do you?", so she has a chance to save face and perhaps remember breaking it herself.

Lazigirl Fri 23-Nov-18 20:31:06

If she's a good friend I would definitely mention it. What a mean spirited hotel to charge for a mug!!

FlexibleFriend Fri 23-Nov-18 20:45:02

Yes of course I'd mention it, as MissAdventure says give her the opportunity to "fess up" then she can pay for it lol

SpringyChicken Fri 23-Nov-18 21:07:21

Next time you have coffee at your friend's, you might spot it! After she admired the mug it seems too much of a coincidence that one goes missing. She needs to know you've been charged and reimburse you.

MissAdventure Fri 23-Nov-18 21:15:13

These sorts of situations make me squirm with embarrassment for the other person.
They make me so uncomfortable.

FarNorth Fri 23-Nov-18 23:02:46

I'd ask her in person, not on the phone, so I could see her reaction.

MissAdventure Fri 23-Nov-18 23:06:16

What would people do if it came to light that she had or almost certainly had taken the mug?

Marthjolly1 Fri 23-Nov-18 23:47:58

I wouldn't mention it. It's just a mug. Doubt if the charge was very much although thats not really the issue. I would be miffed at being charged for it though

M0nica Sat 24-Nov-18 09:26:51

Everyone seems to be replying as if it was known this lady took the mug. Talk about assumed guilty until proved innocent. The maid could have broken it and blamed the rooms occupants, or stolen it

Just because your friend admired something it doesn't mean she would steal it, no matter what her DH may have done.

The fault lies with the hotel, fancy charging for something so trivial. If it was valuable, they shouldn't have had it in the room. Wastage should be something, unfortunate, but budgetted for.

J52 Sat 24-Nov-18 09:57:55

I wouldn’t mention it, it is trivial compared to your friendship. It sounds like they could be trying it on, like when things from the mini bar were added to bills.

H1954 Sun 16-Dec-18 13:42:22

Yes, I agree with FarNorth, I'd ask her face to face. If she did take it then, although it was only a mug, it was theft. If she liked it so much she could have asked the hotel if she could buy it from them herself. I don't think she is much of a friend to implicate you in her underhand behaviour. The hotel had your card details and are charging you for the stolen property, this puts you in a "bad light" as far as the hotel is concerned. Pay the charge, but also write to the hotel stating that your friend took/damaged the mug and pass on her details. Why should you be blacklisted for someone else's despicable behaviour?!

BlueBelle Sun 16-Dec-18 13:53:14

Hotels lose hundreds of items each year I m amazed they charged for a mug out if interest how much ?

FarNorth Sun 16-Dec-18 14:04:14

"Everyone" isn't assuming the friend took the mug. That's why I'd want to see her reaction.

granfromafar Sat 12-Jan-19 15:27:26

Sleepygran, any update on what happened re the missing mug? Please tell us what hotel it was (private or a chain,) . Amazed that a hotel would charge for such an item unless it was Wedgewood or similar!. Hope it all turned out all right if you did mention it to you friend.

MargaretX Sat 12-Jan-19 16:38:27

I would say nothing! The price of a mug is nothing compared to keeping a good relationship with your friend.

These things happen, a lot of people take something from the hotel room, not that I'm condoning it, but you need to keep in with your friend.

jenpax Sat 12-Jan-19 16:43:48

I wouldn’t mention it either. I too am amazed that the hotel are charging for it! Was it Clarice Cliff or an original Wedgwood!

Sleepygran Tue 02-Apr-19 16:32:33

I didn't mention it and the hotel charged me £6. I did ask if a maid could have broken it but got a very curt reply.
It was a very nice hotel room!
I've just chalked it up to experience but will check in future before I leave if it's my name on the bill.

notanan2 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:36:59

Just ask. Some people love taking "freebies" from hotels and gyms, and they are not necessarily the type of people who would see themselves as theives, or people who couldnt afford to buy their own!

I have someone like this in my family and it causes a lot of tension when I refuse to be part of it. Its the staff and the business that suffer. Its really not on. But it is quite common, ppl think if its a spa or hotel or gym its not stealing... they even say that the staff expect people to take the robes etc.. hmm (well then Brenda, walk out with it under your arm and stop trying to stuff it in my bag, if its so "fine" and Im being so silly)

Sleepygran Tue 02-Apr-19 19:56:08

That may be the problem onto an asI wouldn't take a bean unless I'd paid for it,never have,and at my age never will.Its just plain wrong.Staff and hoteliers shouldn't expect things to go 'missing'
I just don't feel I can ask my friend.Ive not got the bottle.Ill chalk it up to experience and keep a watchful eye next time.

Bridgeit Tue 02-Apr-19 20:16:38

Notanan2, I absolutely agree with you, it’s so good to know that everyone is not on the take given the opportunity .

Sleepygran, Yes definitely tell her & make sure she pays you back . Best wishes

Bridgeit Tue 02-Apr-19 20:17:34

Sorry post meant for Sleepygran 🤭