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Message from friend

(42 Posts)
phoenix Thu 21-Feb-19 23:05:35

Hello all,

Not a very informative thread title I'm afraid, but wasn't sure what to put.

A friend from the past has occasionally sent me some stuff via Facebook messenger that I have found a bit shock in its tone.

I usually ignore them, but tonight I received a message with a video clip and the request to "share".

It was blatantly anti Islam/Muslim, and I felt moved to respond.

This is what I said:
(Name), sorry, but I cannot share this. I am against all"isms" i.e. sexism, racism etc, as I believe that life is hard enough without taking against whole groups of people.

I'm sure there are good, kind law abiding Muslims, just as there are good kind Catholic priests, as well as those who have historically and probably to this day, abuse children.

I prefer to treat each person that I meet as an individual, and not judge them by the colour of their skin or the religion that they follow.

Hitler took against Jews, gypsies and homosexuals, and look at how that turned out.

I do not condone acts of terrorism, by ANY people, regardless of their background or motive, consider the IRA bombings throughout the "troubles" (including the Birmingham pub bombing) but feel that to take against a whole race or religion on account of the actions of some members of it is not the answer.

Any thoughts?

Mamissimo Thu 21-Feb-19 23:14:35

Brave and true Phoenix I’ve been surprised by some of the stuff posted by friends from my youth. If they challenge me too much I hide their posts and don’t follow them. You’ve been far truer to yourself. 💐

nanaK54 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:17:01

What a wonderful answer

Farmor15 Thu 21-Feb-19 23:38:14

Good for you phoenix. Perhaps your friend will think twice before sharing material which encourages prejudice. Your reply was very well worded.

MawBroon Thu 21-Feb-19 23:40:13

Good for you.
I have told FB friends before now when their “friends” post Britain First type stuff and in some cases have got to the point where I felt it necessary to “unfriend” them when it was offensive.

phoenix Thu 21-Feb-19 23:43:11

Thank you.

I didn't want to offend or upset her, and as mentioned, have previously just ignored some of the things she had sent (usually forwarded stuff from other sources, not her own writing or posts/tweets etc) but this one rankled.

She did reply, and asked if I had actually watched the whole video in the post, which of course I had, as I wouldn't want to go off half cocked, so to speak!

kittylester Fri 22-Feb-19 05:42:53

Brave of you phoenix. I should do that but don't. Maybe I will in future.

Baggs Fri 22-Feb-19 06:13:11

Not sure I'd be too fussed about offending or upsetting someone who shared offensive, upsetting stuff on my Facebook. Fortunately I've never been tested. Stuff I find tiresome or a bit annoying I just delete and say nothing.

Baggs Fri 22-Feb-19 06:14:39

...too fussed about not offending...

BlueBelle Fri 22-Feb-19 06:23:00

I probably haven’t worded it as well as you Phoenix but I m afraid I can’t accept anything like that without telling the person they have offended humanity , including me
I lost a cousin on Fb that way we weren’t closeclose but I ve never spoken to him since
I find what is allowed on some of the sites to do the rounds on fB totally abhorrent and breaks all the rules of race hate but is not challenged in any way

Anja Fri 22-Feb-19 07:05:39

I agree with Baggs that I would not be fussed about offending someone who has the gall to post this rubbish to my FB page.

What I did was I wrote my own post asking that please would ‘friends’ not send me racist or other such material as I find it offensive. I was pleased that so many friends reacted by approving of my post.

Anja Fri 22-Feb-19 07:10:35

PS I think social media, including GN, does tend to reveal how some people really feel about ‘foreigners’ etc. It can be quite revealing, and sad.

dragonfly46 Fri 22-Feb-19 07:11:25

Well done Phoenix I am totally in agreement with you.
I am shocked at how some of our closest friends have reacted to certain events recently, not just on Facebook but openly and I have had to distance myself from them.

Beau Fri 22-Feb-19 07:38:04

I just 'unfriend' anyone who offends me - I unfriended everyone who said they would vote for Ed Miliband in the last election for instance - never spoken to any of them since, either on Facebook or in real life. As you say, there's no point having anything to do with people who you disagree with so profoundly. One of them was my second oldest friend of 22 years so that was a bit of a shame but I have my principles and won't be untrue to them.

annep1 Fri 22-Feb-19 07:39:34

Well done you! I'm no longer on fb but I wouldn't have had the courage to do that. I would have simply ignored or unfriended.

Harris27 Fri 22-Feb-19 07:49:19

Only do transfer no Facebook but some of the girls at work live their lives on it and it has caused some trouble! Well done Phoenix!

Harris27 Fri 22-Feb-19 07:50:02

Sorry should of checked only do gransnet.

TwiceAsNice Fri 22-Feb-19 07:55:17

Well done! Absolutely agree with you. I don’t like Facebook really and share a private one with my daughters and SIL and ignore all friend requests from others. I prefer it that way

Marydoll Fri 22-Feb-19 08:17:38

Good response, Phoenix!

Urmstongran Fri 22-Feb-19 08:21:11

I’ve never been on FB. Different Humour/jokes/nasty memes appeal to some though. Isn’t it called ‘gallows’ humour or something? Some comedians peddle this in clubs I expect. Remember Bernard Manning back in the day? Not for me.

ginny Fri 22-Feb-19 08:26:33

Well done. I did a similar thing prior to the EU in/out vote. Someone I knew was using derogatory remarks about ( all ) immigrants so I removed him from my list and told him why. I only wish I could have said it as eloquently as you Phoenix.

Anja Fri 22-Feb-19 08:26:57

That’s not necessarily a feature of FB Urm and I think Phoenix is talking of something blatantly racist which is not humorous at all.

FB a damned sight less contentious and aggressive than some that’s on this forum 🤨

Anniebach Fri 22-Feb-19 08:45:05

Phoenix I applaud you.

annep1 Fri 22-Feb-19 09:13:41

Anja I don't agree. Facebook has some very aggressive posts on controversial topics with lots of swearing and personal abuse.

mcem Fri 22-Feb-19 09:36:57

A few years ago, around Remembrance Sunday, a friend posted on FB what seemed to be a relatively harmless 'patriotic' post.
I contacted her to ask if she was aware of the activities and philosophy of Britain First who'd posted it originally.
She had no idea until I explained and was mortified, having posted it on after receiving it from a friend.
She withdrew it, apologised and blocked the sender.

Another friend frequently reposted rants sent by a cousin in Florida. They were largely on the topic of immigrants being given huge amounts of benefits, council houses etc, while the elderly in the UK were living in poverty. I asked her to stop forwarding them to me and explained why.
However several friends of hers in the UK were happy to go on receiving them. She removed me from her mailing list and although we still see each other occasionally our friendship is not what it was.
She is not a rampant racist but is rather naive and really didn't seem to understand how much damage this could do.
I congratulate you phoenix on your more robust stand!