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Carry on Smiling

(18 Posts)
Rufus2 Wed 15-May-19 14:19:12

Cartoon caption : courtesy of "The Oldie"
"Good morning, class. I'm Mrs Jones, your first-year teacher and one of your security questions for the rest of your life."

Courtesy of "Evergreen"
Middle age is when broadness of mind and narrowness of waist change places.

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

Portly gent, smoking large cigar, dressed in large astrakhan coat standing near a Rolls outside his place of business; "Midsomer Undertakers"

Farmor15 Wed 15-May-19 15:56:05

smile

lemongrove Wed 15-May-19 17:42:13

Does the portly gent bury all the victims from Midsomer Murders? No wonder he has a rolls! 😁

Anniebach Wed 15-May-19 17:54:33

lemon 😀

lemongrove Wed 15-May-19 20:36:13

Eat,drink and make merry......for tomorrow we diet.😁

Anniebach Wed 15-May-19 22:06:04

I rather like ‘artificial Intelligence is no substitute for natural stupidity ‘

BradfordLass72 Thu 16-May-19 04:49:11

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down

MawBroonsback Thu 16-May-19 07:46:05

gringringrin spot on Rufus - and brilliant timing!

Parsley3 Thu 16-May-19 09:40:39

Thank you,Rufus. 😁😄🙃🤣

Rufus2 Thu 16-May-19 09:55:00

"When Insults had Class!"
Sorry! Thinning out my "Humour " file and thought you might be interested before I dump them! sad

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork! Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go! Oscar Wilde
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here!" Stephen Bishop
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends" Oscar Wilde
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it!" Moses Hadas

Anniebach Thu 16-May-19 10:08:22

Thank you Rufus, brilliant x

Rufus2 Thu 16-May-19 10:36:07

Change of pace; Mother's Day, Aussie style, was last Sunday May 12th and you could hardly get into our local supermarket for bunches of flowers; they were everywhere and the prices were out of this world!
Anyway, our OBE Club celebrated it just prior at our weekly meeting with a sing-along of the usual sort of songs you might expect on such an occasion. grin However, one I hadn't heard before was quite humorous and involved some input from children. Thought I'd post the verses, but then it dawned that your Mother's Day is long gone, Mar. 11th, so how's that for an anti-climax? sad
Today's meeting included discussion of that 92 gent on his scooter on the motorway; they know I've just bought one so 2+2 made 6.grin I could make a meal ticket out of that, kidding that it was actually me! Ah well!

DanniRae Thu 16-May-19 10:42:04

"I want to be what I was when I wanted to be what I am now"
Graffiti, London

Anniebach Thu 16-May-19 13:45:22

Dorothy Parker

I require three things of a man, he must be handsome,ruthless and stupid.

1 like to have a martine, two at the very most , three and i’m
under the table,four i’m under the host.

If you want to know what God thinks about money,look at the people he gave it to.

Money cannot buy health but I would settle for a diamond
studded wheel chair.

The two most beautiful words in the English language,
cheque enclosed

Rufus2 Fri 17-May-19 10:40:01

Words of Wit and Wisdom; courtesy of "Evergreen"

"Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often."

"Experience is a wonderful thing. it enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again."

"By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends."

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain,"

MawBroonsback Fri 17-May-19 10:41:02

🤣🤣🤣 thank you! Good timing!

Rufus2 Fri 17-May-19 15:00:05

Age is merely the number of years the World has been enjoying you. wink

Rufus2 Sun 19-May-19 13:38:24

More reasons to carry on smiling! smile
Another Royal wedding!
Another right Royal baby Prince
Man. City win yet another Cup! 6-0
We're not getting another PM after all.