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(17 Posts)
optimist Sun 30-Jun-19 11:39:25

I am 75. In reasonable health. Husband died 5 years ago. I retired from teaching a couple of years later. I have adult children and I have grandchildren. I am surrounded by friends of a similar age who are ill dead or dying. I have a really good life BUT sometimes I spoil it by worrying about the future. What if I become ill? (of course I will). should I move to more "suitable" accommodation before that happens even though I love my house and neighbourhood. Some days I travel out and about doing things I enjoy with people I like and feel young. Other days I focus on the things I can no longer do and feel old. Anyone else feel like this ? And what to do about it?

kittylester Sun 30-Jun-19 11:46:35

Oh yes! I feel like that. We are fairly healthy but I dread getting I'll. I will be terrified, I know.

It's almost worse if one's friends are not well.

I keep busy (overbusy!) and I'm fairly sure it's a subconscious thing to stop old age catching up with me. I also mix with people younger than me quite a lot.

mcem Sun 30-Jun-19 11:46:47

Yes often! We just have to get on with it.
Too much navel-gazing can be depressing.
I count myself lucky as it would be unthinkable to drag myself into my classroom day after day!
You've escaped the treadmill, are fit and able and have lots going on.

Whitewavemark2 Sun 30-Jun-19 11:47:33

Well my mother is 100 and has always lived in the present. She never sees the point in worrying about something that you can’t control. I try to be the same and largely achieve it now that I am retired.

I found working challenging and exhausting although I did love my job, and was often anxious, but think tiredness has a lot to do with your mental health.

Jane10 Sun 30-Jun-19 11:51:56

Every time I get the least twinge or malady I think 'Is this it? Is this the start of things?' confused My sensible side tells me to 'Get a grip' but my other side starts to consider every awful possibility!
I usually manage to get a grip though. As Churchill said - 'Keep buggering on'! '

optimist Mon 01-Jul-19 10:12:55

Thanks. All of these posts resonate with me especially Jane10. Good to share.

EllanVannin Mon 01-Jul-19 11:10:50

In the words of Eddie Kendricks---Keep on truckin' , my motto.

I'm a " creaking gate " but I prefer it that way.

Esspee Mon 01-Jul-19 16:21:48

I don't fear dying but am terrified of not being able to look after myself and the possibility of dementia. I have made the decision to end my life when I feel things have gone too far. (Yes I know it might all be sudden and I'll be unable to act on my wishes but my loved ones will assist as far as they legally can)
For now I will try not to think about it.

M0nica Mon 01-Jul-19 17:11:44

I work on the basis that I have no idea what is going to happen to me in the future, so make a few plans about future circumstances that could arise. Discuss with those who matter to you what you want to happen if you need care, what kind of care home, likes and dislikea and make a will, then forget about it and enjoy life.

Davida1968 Mon 01-Jul-19 17:37:46

To quote Dory (from the film "Finding Nemo") - "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...." (I advise taking up this attitude as both a life motto and a form of regular exercise.) Oh, and find something to "approve of", every day!

Fairydoll2030 Thu 04-Jul-19 20:04:32

Well I have an illness which will almost certainly see me off, but my fear is the same as Woody Allan,s who (in)famously said. ‘I’m not afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.’

GabriellaG54 Thu 04-Jul-19 21:52:09

Live a day at a time. You can't alter the future as anything could happen to upset plans. Worry will put you in an early grave and you don't want that.
I recommend getting your will written, funeral sorted and paid for, finances, insurance and paperwork in order and put in labelled files.
Household stuff you don't use and clothes you don't wear sold on eBay or given to charity.
Then you can sit back, relax and have fun. grin

gillybob Thu 04-Jul-19 22:19:58

Oh I wish Gabbi. smile

Grammaretto Thu 04-Jul-19 22:26:31

It's normal to have these feelings and I don't feel you should ignore them. We are all going to die. We don't know when. As Peter Pan said "death is the greatest adventure"
As for day to day living. We cant feel wonderful all the time and ofcourse we feel old. We are old. I didn't like being young all that much. I couldn't wait to be 12, when I was 10!
We keep going.
I was at a funeral today. They come thick and fast it seems. It was very nice and wonderful meeting the children and grandchildren, all so young and vibrant and just how my friend once was.

GabriellaG54 Fri 05-Jul-19 10:31:15

I don't feel old, I do feel wonderful all the time and I never go to funerals, not even my parents funerals.
You can't alter your genes and mine have given me a very optimistic and contented outlook no matter the situation. There is always a plus among the minuses.

Alexa Fri 05-Jul-19 10:40:26

when i had to make that decision I weighed up all the pros and cons and still no decision., for months and months. Then one day I was looking at a rose catalogue in a friend's garden and the answer appeared to me " If I move to a more suitable place I can choose a whole new set of my own favourite roses."
If you keep the problem in mind a solution will arrive out of the blue.

BradfordLass72 Sat 06-Jul-19 05:30:50

Nothing will make you immortal.
Live every day to its fullest, don't waste a moment. grin

Be happy.