Gransnet forums

Other subjects

Whinging kinda tongue in cheek

(48 Posts)
TerryM Sun 01-Sep-19 07:41:18

Love my husband but he has been retired a month now and my whole routine is gone sad
Most articles and information say give a person a year to adjust but what about me ??
My laundry was five days in arrears, my kitchen (which he very kindly said he would deal with as he does most of the cooking always has done ) just looks .....dreadful
The dog (flipping rotten bane of my existence ) peed twice in the house today !!!! Then promptly decided to eat one of my brand new cushion cover.
Oohhh and I am on a restricted diet for a procedure at the end of the week (yep getting older ) and I have worked out I just don't like being told what I can and can't have.
Should I point out I can have chocolate lol
Just to allay concerns my dog is amazing and very much spoilt and loved....just he picked the wrong day to be ..annoying.
I asked my husband this morning "will you survive the next few days ?" " Oh yes of course " was the reply in a very light tone.
I don't think he is going to last the night ooops

midgey Sun 01-Sep-19 08:57:25

Oh I know where you are! I hope you don’t come to blows and manage to find a way through.grin It is a whole new way of life.

Pittcity Sun 01-Sep-19 09:32:01

I feel your pain. It's been 2 years here and my main bugbear is that I no longer know when there will be a time to mop the floor and let it dry before someone walks on it.

Grannybags Sun 01-Sep-19 09:35:51

Oh yes I agree.

Also people always ask him how he's enjoying retirement but never ask ME how it's affected my life!!

EllanVannin Sun 01-Sep-19 10:23:19

Hahahaha, they drive you mad.

moonbeames Sun 01-Sep-19 10:34:51

good luck. Its a whole new ball game when your husband retires. It drives me crazy it really does. He has every right to retire and enjoy himself lazing around the house a lot which he does, I know that, but it still drives me bonkers! I find that I can't get anything done, he is just there. He does go out a bit and I am still working part-time. So I do have moments of reprieve. It is a difficult adjustment. Go out if you can and visit your friends for a coffee, the local library, I love going to the movies by myself, have always done. Or sometimes I go with friends. Go for a walk if the weather is good. Good luck.wink

mancgirl Sun 01-Sep-19 10:38:40

Pittcity. I know exactly what you mean about the floors. I think he has sixth sense when I am about to/just done it. Wasn't this hard when the kids were at home! (hate the job anyway 😣

Septimia Sun 01-Sep-19 11:52:47

My DH and I get on well and share a lot of interests, so in many respects it's nice to have him around now he's retired. I was fortunate in that he worked part-time before retiring, so I had a chance to get used to having him underfoot grin.

We're gradually settling into a 'retirement' routine which means help with presparing meals and breakfast in bed if we're not going out. Nonetheless, there are times when I would like a short while to myself......

SueDonim Sun 01-Sep-19 12:17:49

When I mentioned retirement to someone she said 'Ah yes, retirement. Half as much money and twice as much husband.'

I think that sums it up very well.

TerryM Sun 01-Sep-19 12:31:47

I actually have to say I didn't expect quite such a change because we do get on really well but....I loved my routine .
Ahhh well at least I am not alone in my misery. smile

Katyj Sun 01-Sep-19 15:02:23

Hi Terry this sounds just like us.We've just come back from shopping, Dh declared it looks like rain, ran out and brought all the damp washing in, only 5 mins later the sun is out again ! and I've got damp washing washing on every radiator, that are not on because it's too warm .Infuriating! He seems to have forgotten I've been washing over 40 years, not 5 mins like him.Good luck.

ninathenana Sun 01-Sep-19 17:34:30

We appear to be the "exception that proves the rule"

He retired 11 yrs ago and we've never had a problem. He works 2 days a week but only in the summer. When he is home, we share the chores (it would be him moaning about his clean kitchen floor) and cooking, we do the food shop together.
He spends quiet a bit of time pottering in his workshop and I meet a friend for coffee or lunch.
We rub along fine.

sodapop Sun 01-Sep-19 18:37:04

It takes some adjusting to TerryM I prioritise what is important to me and then deal with what I can compromise on. Talk to your husband, mine says I think things and don't tell him then moan about it. Take time to enjoy things together even if its just a glass of wine in the garden, you have earned some time off together.

notentirelyallhere Sun 01-Sep-19 19:36:24

Another thread about retired husbands, such a relief and a pleasure. Its been a year of proper retirement now, before that he worked part time for two years. I feel as though I never have a moment to myself, let alone ever have the house to myself. Forget routines! He rushes off to the shops, buys things we already have and forgets others or buys a cheaper version full of nasty things. He'll hang the washing out but never shakes it so it's still creased, if he takes it in, he doesn't fold it and he never removes the pegs from the line! Apparently I'm mad to think you might need to wipe the line occasionally.

If he scrapes the plates after supper, he leaves the sink and thus plughole, full of debris. He avoids using the dishwasher but leaves stains on things especially the cutlery.

Racking my brains for something positive to say, I came up with he cuts the grass though he doesn't rake up properly or strim but he does put the recycling and rubbish out on the right day. Oh help, do I long for those days when he worked!

EllieB52 Mon 02-Sep-19 09:39:04

Been like this since I retired 7 years ago. We’ve recently moved to a new area and I’m determined to get “me” back. He plays golf 2x weekly so I have made sure my activities are on different days. That way we are not constantly bickering and I get some alone time at home. I’ve tried to persuade him to get a little job but he won’t. Mind you, neither will I. I think the answer is separate homes, lol.

Barmeyoldbat Mon 02-Sep-19 09:55:02

I don't have a routine, just a to-do list so that part of your post doesn't apply to me. But I had routine procedure, probably the same as by the sounds of it, and was on the diet while on holiday.

We were in luck as it was self catering so for a few days I tucked into utter rubbish and chocolate was high on my list. Salad and steak for husband, bar of chocolate for me. I was glad when it was all over.

Hm999 Mon 02-Sep-19 10:14:42

Could you wives of the retired please give your husbands some lessons in where to stand in supermarkets, please? Constantly I see these spare parts with the trolley standing in the middle of aisles, getting in everyone's way! Grrrr

Scottiebear Mon 02-Sep-19 10:15:38

I sympathise. I retired 6 months before my DH. That in itself is a huge lifestyle adjustment. I'd just managed to get in a routine. And then he retired. He's a much earlier riser than me. I would get up in my dressing gown, have a cuppa and watch some news, before getting dressed. But when he retired, I would get up and he would be either in kitchen getting his breakfast, or watching car programmes on tv. Only little things, but irritating. Took some time to adjust to him always being there. I'd been used to time to myself. But now, a couple of years on, we have both adjusted to our new lifestyle, and are both enjoying it. Just takes compromise. Good luck.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 02-Sep-19 10:36:52

I retired before my Mr.Gravy, and I absolutely loved the quietness of my house, and having 9 hours a day to do what I wanted, when I wanted.

He has been retired fully for 2 1/2 years, I still love him dearly, but, he is driving me doodle ally flip!!!! It is not the big things but lots of little things!!!

I have stuck to my "gym" routine, and seeing friends.

I look forward to the days when he has to go in for a meeting (we still own our own company but 3 of our AC run it).

Artdecogran Mon 02-Sep-19 10:42:34

Just be glad that your husband is retired for you all to moan about, and not dead at 63 like mine. I wish he was here. I wouldn’t mind what he was doing or saying.

Marguerita Mon 02-Sep-19 10:45:57

Post DH's retirement - For better or worse but not for lunch.

GrannyGravy13 Mon 02-Sep-19 10:56:18

Artdecogran, I am sorry for your loss.

I know I am lucky and I love him dearly, I just think after many years it is not particularly easy to spend all day every day with each other.

I should imagine that he finds things that I do/do not do extremely annoying, that's just the way it is.

Tamayra Mon 02-Sep-19 11:21:13

Wish my husband was still here too He passed at 59yrs. Life still fills empty even tho I am a busy bee
Treasure every moment you have together It can all be gone in the twinkling of an eye 💖💖

Craftycat Mon 02-Sep-19 11:34:43

My DH has been at home for a couple of months as he is between contracts. It has made me realise what it is going to be like when he retires in about 8 years time. I think I may have to go back to work!!

SueDoku Mon 02-Sep-19 11:36:00

My late FIL was a time-&-motion study expert, called in by companies to ensure that their employees were working in the most productive way. About six months after he retired, MIL told me that she was ready to brain him with his clipboard, as he'd been watching her cook, clean etc and making 'helpful suggestions' about how she might work more efficiently...grin
As she pointed out to him, he'd had no worries over the preceding 40 years, and the house had always been clean, food on the table - and she'd worked part-time as well.! I had every sympathy with her...!!!