If a couple haven't planned, well in advance, for his retirement then like any other seriously life-changing event, it becomes a problem they often don't know how to solve.
I have heard many people, longing for retirement, saying how great it will be that they'll have all the leisure time in the world to do the things they love and/or have promised.
What they haven't bargained for is the huge psychological shift which makes them feel as if they are no longer a useful part of the community or society.
Previously, they had a purpose - and to prove it, were paid for their expertise.
Now they don't - and leisure pursuits, however much you enjoy them, often pall after a while.
Low-grade depression can set in and all he wants to do is sit in front of the telly.
He's irritable when she tries to jolly him out of it or suggest things he might do because how can she give him back, or find any useful substitute for what he's lost?
Retirement impacts greatly on a man's pride and his sense of being in charge of his life and even being able to provide for his wife and family. These things are deeply ingrained even in men who have working wives.
Pension may be just fine but compared to a wage you've earned, it can feel like a hand-out.
And of course, now he has to accept he is getting old> A word often synonymous with 'useless'.
It helps if he has a supportive spouse and with whom he can do things, such as travel or hobbies - but if not and he's made to feel in the way even at home, where's his refuge?
And to add insult to injury, his wife still has her place in the world. For her, little has changed, except maybe her irritability levels when she finds him under her feet all the time.
She still feels useful, women never run out of things to do and are often long-time members of clubs and societies he's never had time or inclination for.
If she's still working, then he's left alone all day and if they've followed the pattern of so many marriages, never learned how to cook, clean iron, or in any way take care of himself.
Inevitably he feels further emasculated but if he gives it a go and makes a mess of things, he has to handle all the repercussions when she comes home and he's used all the pans and most of the crockery to make scrambled eggs and toast. And of course he hasn't washed up because that's something she always does, so it never occurs to him.
I was once called in to help an elderly man who hadn't eaten any fresh food, or done any shopping since his wife died over a month before.
He had systematically eaten through all the tinned and packet stuff in the pantry, except the dry goods which he had no idea how to prepare and couldn't see the instructon anyway.
He didn't know how or where to buy fresh or even access money to do so.
When I asked him why he hadn't gone to the shop he said, 'I wouldn't know what to do when I got there, she did all that ."
That's one of the saddest sentences I ever heard. Sixty years of "doing all that" had deprived him of so much more than her presence when she died.