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Birthday celebrations

(14 Posts)
Nanagem Wed 05-Feb-20 22:03:22

Does it bother you to celebrate a birthday before the day, or do you think it’s unlucky.

The reason I ask is because my husband always says it’s bad luck, apparently many many years ago, his father went to a do to celebrated a friends birthday before the day, the friend was killed the next day. Since then he would never celebrate anything before the date and my husband has carried this on.

Well. It’s my son’s birthday soon, and my DIL has asked if I would throw him a bit of a do the weekend before, they cannot afford anything much, and he needs a treat. I’m more than happy to do this. But my husband says that it mustn’t be for his birthday, no decs or cake nothing todo with birthday just a get together.

I’m torn, is it ok to have a cake with candles, and balloons and toasts etc, or am I tempting fate.

What would you all do.

It can’t be the weekend after, things that can’t be cancelled so it’s before or not at all.

MissAdventure Wed 05-Feb-20 22:39:10

I think your husband is talking out of his bottom, frankly.
How can it possibly bring bad luck?

GrannyLaine Wed 05-Feb-20 22:48:39

I agree MissAdventure
I'd be thinking 'Just as well we had the celebration when we did'
My daughter manages to make her birthday celebrations last a week.

FlyingSolo Wed 05-Feb-20 23:22:31

I don't think it is tempting fate at all. I have celebrated people's birthdays before the day without them dying. I bet most people have.

I suggest you ask yourself whether your son shares your husband's views. If he doesn't then in my opinion it is ok to do the celebrations early. But if it would upset your son then don't do it.

Tangerine Wed 05-Feb-20 23:24:59

I don't think it's tempting fate.

However, I suppose your husband has become nervous about celebrating things in advance because of his own father's experience.

Would your daughter-in-law understand if you explained his attitude to her?

JackyB Thu 06-Feb-20 08:45:17

This is a very strict rule (more than a superstition even!) here in Germany. You mustn't mention birthdays before the day, certainly not celebrate them.

I find this hypocritical as they (most inconveniently) insist on celebrating Christmas on the 24th and going to Mass on Saturday evening instead of Sunday morning is quite accepted.

Go ahead and have the party. What's a couple of days in 40 years (or however old he is)?

TwiceAsNice Thu 06-Feb-20 08:54:42

We have done this often, celebrate early or late to fit in with everyone’s plans. I don’t see it as a problem. Your husband is being unrealistic, just because someone died years ago doesn’t mean it will ever happen again

DillytheGardener Thu 06-Feb-20 08:55:28

Yes go ahead and have the party, he sounds like he needs the treat. I get your husband though, my mum didn’t approve of buying baby furniture etc before baby as it was tempting fate that you expected to be delivered a healthy live baby, she also didn’t approve of celebrating before a birthday.
Time to shake of superstitions me thinks!

M0nica Thu 06-Feb-20 16:06:23

For us birthdays are entirely moveable feasts and can be celebrated when ever it is convenient.

If convenient means a month in advance so wha?. If disaster strikes you can, no, will be glad that you had that wonderful birthday with the person when they were alive/fit and well and it will be a lifetime happy memory.

I speak with feeling. We had a family celebration, not for my sister but she was present only a short time before she was killed in a road accident. Since then that family celebration has meant so much to us. We were all together and spent the day with her and have lots of very recent photos of her happy with all the family.

So go ahead and do it.

Floradora9 Thu 06-Feb-20 16:19:04

I can understand your husband's feelings about this . The night my father died I had put a bunch of snowdrops in my parents room . Ever since then I could not have them in my house or garden .

Mapleleaf Thu 06-Feb-20 19:22:27

I’d have the celebration.

GrannyGravy13 Thu 06-Feb-20 19:48:38

I have a "Birthday Month" .....so go ahead and celebrate.

LullyDully Fri 07-Feb-20 08:30:21

We celebrate everything at any time as sons live a way away , not to mention family in the forces. Christmas moves and birthdays certainly too. The trick is to enjoy the fuss and palaver.(not sure how to spell that)

Roses Fri 07-Feb-20 08:59:03

It's my 70th birthday this year my son and daughter have rented a beautiful house on Angelsey for all of us plus my best friends, because my birthday is at Easter and the house was a thousand pounds dearer then we are going at the end of March. If anything happens to me between then and my birthday at least we will have had a celebration!