Telling people about a bereavement in family

I believe in times gone by the body was kept at home and laid on the dining table, presumably avoiding a lot of costs. Under these circumstances, keeping the body as cool as possible by drawing the curtains would have been a very wise move!!

Men would stop in the street and remove their hats..also mirrors were turned to the wall....don’t know what that was about..

When I was growing up some older people would close their curtains if a family member had died, probably until after the funeral. Very few people do it now.

It's generally known as 'showing respect'

I am a bit concerned about tje tone of this thread
Turning mirrors to the wall and opening windows was not wanting to trap the spirit and it helped with the practical matter of smell as the bowels relax on death ...
Shutting curtains, wreaths on doors and laid in front of the house - all acknowledgement and feelings

Mocking seems somewhat churlish and disrespectful

Mother always closed the curtains on the day of a funeral in the street.
I do it myself especially for the neighbour who I had known most of my life.

I always turn my car lights on if I’m driving and a funeral procession is coming towards me on the opposite side of road. I hope it shows some respect for those following the hurst. Wonder if anyone else does this, thought it was just a usual thing, maybe not ?

Grannyticktock I can remember saying that if someone's petticoat was showing but I never knew the reason. Interesting to know.

From a long time back, my mother used to put a holly wreath on door at Christmas, a practice that has increased a lot in the meantime. However, one time a man called to the door to offer sympathy as he thought someone had died! Wreaths on a door when someone dies must be an old tradition.

When my mum died (in hospital) I went to her house, knowing that her husband, my stepfather, was out. I closed all the curtains and turned pictures and mirror to the wall. My stepfather had a girlie calendar he'd got from the Sun newspaper on the kitchen wall. I took it down with all the hussies baring all, tore it in half and threw it in the bin. I thought by buying it he had shown great disrespect for my mother.

I had a terrible shock on opening my Facebook page one morning. A sister of my sister in law, had written. “ please say a prayer for my sister, who has just lost her husband” . This was my brother and the silly woman had not even waited for us to be informed. Drama queen her! To make matters worse that day my husband was due for cardiac surgery. I also had to tell my sister before she read it.

It was customary for the curtains in the house of the deceased person to be drawn when I was a child - I don't know how long for. I also recall being instructed to stop walking, stand at the kerb and bow my head as a hearse went by - all children did this, along with parents. It was ' a mark of respect' my Mother said.

The closed curtains used to be the standard thing when I was growing up and on the day of the funeral,( that was usually at the church/chapel) the houses on the route had their curtains closed.
Now of course fewer funerals are held in places of worship, the remains are taken straight to the crematorium.
Now of course funerals are often seen more of a celebration of the deceased persons life - which was why my dad's hearse was a motorbike and sidecar (he had always had a love of motorbikes), much to one of my aunt's disgust, and he was brought in to music from Paint your Wagon and his coffin disappeared to the theme from Last of the Summer Wine!

We only kept curtains closed while the body was in the house ( as all my relatives’ bodies were) Neighbours’ curtains were closed until the hearse had left.

When I was about 18 years old my best friends dad died. That was the last time I saw a body being kept in the house. That was 1958. As a child I remember all the curtains being closed if there was a funeral in any of the streets near us when the Cortege was passing and as a child standing still and being quiet if their was a funeral passing.

I remember the closing of curtains, envelopes edged in black. If you saw a funeral I was taught to stand still and bow my head as I crossed myself & said a short prayer silently, dad would remove his hat, it was repect and sympathy for the family. I first saw car headlights switched on for vehicles in the cortege when I went to live in NZ. Its so sensible & indicates to other drivers that you're part of the group - other road users would wait until the whole group had passed by even if they had right of way, sometimes a traffic cop would override traffic lights so a group could travel in convoy, I have noticed it used in the uk too occasionally, makes such sense- especially if you're from out of town & following someone else.

Can remember when my Grandfather died at home my mother going to get a lady - can’t remember her name - to “lay him out”. This a what she did for all the neighbourhood

I can remember in my childhood curtains always being drawn in the homes of the bereaved, and on the day of the actual funeral most neighbours would also close their curtains out of respect. Men often wore a black armband over the sleeve of their coat or jacket and women of the bereaved family often had a small black square of material sewn onto a coat sleeve for a while to show they were in mourning. Men also would stop and raise their hat if a funeral cortege was approaching.

I always stand still and say a prayer for the person if I see a hearse go past. Then I think one day it will be me. Then I thank God it’s not me.

Certainly I remember closing the curtains, and of 'slatternly' women who had not opened their curtains by a certain time, would have a comment made "you'd think there'd been a death"!
I found it disconcerting when I moved to an area with families who had immigrated from hot sunny countries, who would be in the habit of keeping the curtains drawn all day.
I don't know if it was common practice in Wales, but I was brought up in an area with a community of Welsh miners who had come for work in the 30s. The men would stand in line just in front of the church and sing 'Bread of Heaven' as the coffin went in - it still sends a shiver down my spine.

Yes curtains drawn on day of a funeral in the road when I was young. It showed respect..

I can remember seeing widows in mourning veils in the 1970s although it was not a common practice here in Denmark as late as that.

I believe the custom lasted much longer in other countries, France for instance.

I lived opposite the local church as a child, and often our curtains would be closed for a funeral, and not reopened until after the wake. As a mischievous girl.of about 4 yrs, l hated being shut in the dark, and would often ask to go to bed for a snooze, but as soon as my mother had gone back down stairs l would sit on my bedroom windowledge and play with my toys, in full view of any passers by, and watch the funeral taking place at the church, but luckily not the burial as their was no churchyard. When my step mother passed away early last year, we were informed by a text message from her son in the early hours of the morning, there was no viewing allowed of her body until the afternoon before the funeral, and she remained at the hospital Mortuary up until then, until the undertakers collected her.

If I was in uniform when a hearse passed it was my duty to stand to attention and salute.

My dad, who was a policeman, would salute a coffin as it went passed by