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"Inevitability box"

(47 Posts)
Lizbethann55 Fri 13-Mar-20 12:36:30

Both my DH and I have lost our final surviving parents in the last few years and had to deal with all the paper work, which included finding all the necessary documents. As a result we have decided to put together a box with everything in it our children will need when the day inevitably arrives. Hence the name of the box. In it we will put our wills, house deeds, birth and marriage certificates, insurance details (though that will be a disappointment as we had to cash them in a few years ago when we were broke!), bank account details, passports etc. Has anyone else done anything similar? What have you put in your box? Have we forgotten anything?

bikergran Tue 17-Mar-20 08:25:22

Barmeyoldbat that was my next question, how do we keep all this info safe and secure?

I know we can do a sort of digital book which maybe safer, but you can't get away from the fact you have to have the original paper work. I cant afford to keep things at a solicitors. I used to keep papers in my bank until they started charging ridiculous fees.

If someone broke in and decided to steal the box/book etc. they would have access to every thing.

So any ideas welcome as I need to put this plan in place. We all put it off, but once its done its done, you have to be in the right mood though don't you.

Barmeyoldbat Mon 16-Mar-20 10:51:35

Yes I am going to do this. I have already made Mr Barmey make a list of utilities along with pass words to get on line info from them. Also to sit his Facebook password and another passwords I might need. Just hope we don't have a breaking and it all gets stolen.

sophieschoice Sun 15-Mar-20 11:13:42

Grandmaz. Your kindness is truly appreciated x

sophieschoice Sun 15-Mar-20 11:11:33

Maremia. Thank you for your warm thoughts appreciated x.

Fairyfeet Sun 15-Mar-20 09:19:01

I finally filled in the Age UK Life book yesterday, which I had had for about 5 years. I suppose the current situation brings home to us how vulnerable we all are. I just need to tell my daughter where it is kept now.
Here’s hoping she won’t need it for many years yet.

Shandy3 Sun 15-Mar-20 00:43:04

I puf a box together many, many years ago.
It includes all current plans, insurances, car docs, etc also utility details e.g.water, gas, electric
I have a sheet on the top with reference numbers and phone numbers for my nominated person to call like council tax office.
Felt I wanted to make it as easy as possible.
Every year I go through the box and update the details if necessary.

AnotherLiz Sat 14-Mar-20 22:02:05

Great idea. I have a fireproof box but haven't got all the information in there. Will order the Age UK booklet as I do need to complete this

kwest Sat 14-Mar-20 21:47:11

Thank you this is a good idea. I am in voluntary 'lockdown' at the moment at the suggestion of my family but also beause I feel very anxious too. Boris Johnson's statement that we woulld lose loved ones too early freaked out all of us.
There is a bright side to being at home, I can catch up on lots of jobs, spend time in my greenhouse, de-clutter, catch up on paperwork, read etc. I will miss my silver swans ballet classes but my husband has set up a scaffolding trestle for me to use as a barre to continue practising my ballet. I can contact friends by phone, text or email. So providing I don't get the virus I should be o.k.

Herbie9 Sat 14-Mar-20 20:26:19

Having recently been very stressed out - and still ongoing- having to to sort out my dear late husband's financial affairs I now realise how important it is to be organised and have a place of safekeeping for financial information. I shall make sure now that I will do this for my family to make their lives easier at such a sad time. It's made me think of decluttering some of my stuff so I shall be kept too busy to wonder if the dreaded corona virus will get me.

hicaz46 Sat 14-Mar-20 20:15:07

I have a book titled ‘I’m dead now what’ it’s got space to fill in lots of useful information. I bought it online from Amazon I believe.

Bijou Sat 14-Mar-20 19:39:23

I have a box file with details of bank details, insurance polices, income tax, DWP details, etc. Plus a note book with names and addresses phone numbers of friends and family etc. And passwords for iPad.

CBBL Sat 14-Mar-20 15:31:31

I'm almost there! Hubby and I have prepaid funeral plans, Wills, LPA's etc. and I have a "Now that I'm Dead" book! I haven't got around to completing the relevant pages, since much of this is already covered elsewhere. House Deeds - I'll need a big tin! None of the tins I have in the house, or seen when looking would take these - there's just so much. However, I'll keep looking and hope to find something suitable. Our house is on the market for sale, so I don't want to complete stuff which is going to be out of date soon - that's my excuse up to now, anyway! I also have signed up to "Cat Guardians" (from Cat's Protection - although I understand that other Charities also offer a similar service) - so even our pets will be looked after. I will remember to add our Doctor & Hospital patient numbers etc. so thank you for that reminder elleks

Mealybug Sat 14-Mar-20 13:34:26

Yes I've organised a box just recently after having a conversation with my daughter (only child) about what happens when me and her Dad pass away. It can be so confusing when there's wills to find and house documents, insurance etc.

Witzend Sat 14-Mar-20 12:44:40

My mother did this, only it was one of those large, old fashioned briefcases.

We needed it long before she died, however, since dementia meant she could no longer manage her own affairs.

She also left a letter to be opened after she was gone, and given many years of dementia when she didn’t even know us any more, that was lovely to have.

Lin663 Sat 14-Mar-20 12:37:12

Thanks @Saxifrage...I have ordered one today

Foxyferret Sat 14-Mar-20 12:35:03

Yes, mine is all in a small briefcase, PIN numbers and passwords are enclosed with the will. I have written on various folders do not throw away, worth money. On others I have written of no value, throw away when I die.

Madmaggie Sat 14-Mar-20 11:06:11

Thankyou posters. Just the proverbial boot up the derriere I needed. Been meaning to do it for ages but always let it slip. I'd to sort first dads (he was very organised) he had a large lovely wooden box with bank books, papers, grave papers, his medals, marriage, birth certs, copies of both their wills etc. Regularly it would be pointed out to both myself and my brother & we'd say dont worry dad we've got this & exchange a smile over 'the box'. After his funeral mum asked us to deal with everything my brother lifted 'the box' and it promptly fell apart! Job done I suppose.

grandmaz Sat 14-Mar-20 10:43:01

Sophieschoice sad flowers I am so sorry for your heartbreak. There are no words...

I have a book called 'Last Orders' An essential guide to your letter of wishes. It is produced by Patrica C Byron and cost me £13.00 ish, on Amazon I think. It addresses every aspect of your life which your loved ones/executors need to know, with ample space for information and notes in each part. I didn't find it easy to fill in as it's so personal...there is a chapter for your funeral wishes, goods and chattels, pets, as well as financial and property matter. It's very thorough. I know that it will help my son and daughter who will be dealing with things when I'm gone. My funeral is paid for, so completing the book seemed to be the only other practical thing I could do to make make a bad time a little easier to manage.

CanadianGran Sat 14-Mar-20 10:39:49

Thank you for the reminder. We do have a binder with most of the relevant info, and kids know where it is. But funeral plans are not made or even wishes noted, so that will need to be updated.

A classmate of my husband died suddenly a few weeks ago, and we went to a very nice service. My DH stated he wanted something very similar, and is adamant that I state my wishes in writing so some plan is in order. It gives a bit of relief to those that are grieving.

Maremia Sat 14-Mar-20 10:36:38

sophieschoice, sorry for your loss.

Hetty58 Sat 14-Mar-20 10:29:55

The 'tell us once' service helps a bit:

www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

elleks Sat 14-Mar-20 10:24:02

Details of your GP surgery and any hospital information, if you have regular appointments? (3 years after we bought our house we got a hospital appointment for the previous owner's deceased father)

sophieschoice Sat 14-Mar-20 10:21:28

Brilliant idea no matter how old you are. Just had the unbearable task of doing it after my son passed (early 40s). He was a man who put things off till tomorrow bless him. It's been heartbreaking sorting thru his things bank,landlord,credit card,mobile, etc. And it continues, with some, void of compassion. It would help those whose ?

Scottiebear Sat 14-Mar-20 09:56:13

We have a little fireproof box in which we keep our will and other important documents. Had my good jewellery valued and that document is in there. Also a little notebook with a list of our bank accs and pensions. Just to make things a little simpler for our son should the need arise.

Daisymae Sat 14-Mar-20 09:25:09

It's been on the back of my mind. Thanks for the nudge, will get a copy of the Age UK booklet too.