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Baby Name has caused a rift

(201 Posts)
MummyJoJo62 Wed 19-Aug-20 13:19:35

I feel I should almost whisper this as I have surprised myself with how upset I became as I have always held the mantra of "A rose would still smell as sweet were it a rose not called' and all that ,sorry if I have misquoted Its been a while since O level and I only got an E! Anyway has anybody really really really hated a name that has been given to your grandchild and did you manage to keep your mouth shut about it? I didn't! OOPs!

Violettham Wed 19-Aug-20 13:24:33

Big mistake, MummyJo

3nanny6 Wed 19-Aug-20 13:27:57

Our grand-children are not ours to name, it's best to say nothing and let the name grow on you or else it causes problems.

SueDonim Wed 19-Aug-20 13:29:38

It isn’t the baby name that’s caused a rift, it’s your reaction to it. Fulsome apologies are needed from you and there’s a lesson to be learnt.

glammanana Wed 19-Aug-20 13:33:33

Oh please don't go down that route and possibly cause a war !! will the babies name stop you loving the child any less ? I think not.

GagaJo Wed 19-Aug-20 13:37:55

I'm not overly keen on my grandsons name. But I adore him and by association that name is music to my ears. You'll get used to it.

Apologize.

geekesse Wed 19-Aug-20 14:00:20

My Mum-in-law thought my first four children's names were too weird because they weren’t Harry, George, Jane or Susan, and grumbled to us and her friends about them. We told her the fifth would be Hepzibah (if a girl) or Melchizadech (boy). When we actually gave the child a slightly unusual but not outlandish name, she got the message - well enough to laugh at herself in later years.

25Avalon Wed 19-Aug-20 14:05:29

I wasn’t sure I liked GS name but kept quiet as it is the parents right to choose. Lots of my friends thought it was a lovely name either that or they were just being polite! A year later I have got used to it and quite like it.

Callistemon Wed 19-Aug-20 14:14:55

There was another thread about this a while ago which could be helpful, MummyJoJo

varian Wed 19-Aug-20 14:15:29

I know some teachers who had difficulty naming their own children or liking the names chosen for their grandchildren because every name seemed to conjure up the memory of a ghastly pupil.

Callistemon Wed 19-Aug-20 14:18:07

I'm sorry, i can't find it now but there are several threads and I think GNHQ ran a survey once too.

I think you may get used to it - they seem to grow into their names smile

Grannybags Wed 19-Aug-20 14:19:55

My first granddaughter has a really unusual name which I'd never heard before and am still not that keen on 8 years later.

However I didn't say anything and her parents have used a nickname from birth so I have been able to use that instead!

FarNorth Wed 19-Aug-20 14:26:32

Apologise immediately MummyJoJo62 and tell them you like it now that you've thought about it more as being your darling grandchild's name (even if that isn't quite true).

My DGD has 2 very feminine middle names that were originally considered as options for her first name.
I'm glad they got pushed into second place as she is not a girly girl.

paddyanne Wed 19-Aug-20 15:00:10

My mother hated mt daughters name and tried to get away with using her middle name .My dad set her straight! Big mistake to say what you think,my newest GD has a name I'm not keen on but she's a lovely baby and we love her regardless of her name as you will love yours

ElaineI Wed 19-Aug-20 15:00:37

I think you have to apologise, say you are used to it now/never heard it before/suits the baby.
You will get used to it and the baby will be as sweet as a rose. None of our GC have usual names and we quickly became used to them and couldn't imagine any other names now. Varian DD1 is a teacher and there were some names she wouldn't consider grin

GagaJo Wed 19-Aug-20 15:05:10

Exactly Varian. Grandsons name is the name of a very peculiar ex student. Of course, my darling boy has totally eclipsed that student.

MummyJoJo62 Wed 19-Aug-20 15:12:57

Id be interested to know how I could find it.My point is that he has to carry the name into adulthood and I hate the thought of him not being taken seriously. I know I may not be around to let it affect me but we could say that about the planet! I have apologised and yet she knows that I still don't like it. Hey ho

BlueBelle Wed 19-Aug-20 15:20:06

I too think it was a big mistake to blurt out your dislike it has absolutely nothing to do with us
All my grandkids suit their names none have run of the mill names but none have way out names either All have totally fitted into their names and I couldn’t imagine them being called anything else
Even if it’s something you can’t stand you can’t do anything about it so always best to keep your thoughts entirely to yourself
The other thread was by a lady who felt the baby’s name was that of a not to nice a woman but by the end of the long thread and after hearing from others who hadn’t liked their grandkids names or knew lovely children with the same name she was beginning to get used to it and seemed less concerned
I hope you grow to like the name.

Newatthis Wed 19-Aug-20 15:21:07

Their baby, their choice. I think that if it's a name that won't invite snide comments, rude rhyming or bullying at school then they're on a winner. My mother chose names for us that no-one else in our road had - quite 'normal' names though and when another child moved into the road with the same name as my then 3 year old sister, she changed my sister's name to her middle name, which she has since been called.

geekesse Wed 19-Aug-20 15:24:18

mummyJoJo62, the social connotations of a name are likely to change over the next 18 years, so there’s no point anticipating problems. Who’d have thought that a nice respectable name like ‘Karen’ would prove to have such bad connotations in 2020? Or that mid 20th century ‘lower class’ names like Milly or Sam would become fashionable middle class names in 21st century classrooms?

Esspee Wed 19-Aug-20 15:26:26

I’m with Callistemon on this one. Children do seem to grow into their names.
Either that or we just get desensitised. 🙄

MummyJoJo62 Wed 19-Aug-20 15:29:12

All those you mention Newatthis!

Babyshark Wed 19-Aug-20 15:30:14

You don’t come across as particularly sorry that you have offended your grandchilds parents. Maybe work on being a little more sincere and accept that just because you hold certain views about the name doesn’t mean you are right about how he will be responded to as he grows up. Maybe you’re just a bit behind current trends.

MummyJoJo62 Wed 19-Aug-20 15:33:05

Good point geekesse I'll go with that one Thank you so much everyone I think I have to start grovelling my way back now. We are a very close family so hope all will be OK I just wondered as I was thinking of asking Graham Norton (Joke)
xxxxxxx

annsixty Wed 19-Aug-20 15:59:04

My D who has a preschool told me only an hour ago that she has had an enquiry today for a place for a child named Journey.
I hope this isn't your child.
I asked if she said long or short?