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Baby Name has caused a rift

(202 Posts)
MummyJoJo62 Wed 19-Aug-20 13:19:35

I feel I should almost whisper this as I have surprised myself with how upset I became as I have always held the mantra of "A rose would still smell as sweet were it a rose not called' and all that ,sorry if I have misquoted Its been a while since O level and I only got an E! Anyway has anybody really really really hated a name that has been given to your grandchild and did you manage to keep your mouth shut about it? I didn't! OOPs!

PamelaJ1 Wed 23-Sep-20 21:01:17

There was an earlier post that expressed concern that a child may be bullied because of his/her name. With all the weird and wonderful names around these days I think the children won’t bat an eyelid at any of them.
But please - no Lavinia and Louise for twins.??‍♀️

MawB2 Wed 23-Sep-20 20:00:07

, and Gretchen is beyond the pale. it took me a long time to realise that latter was really a proper name, rather than a description

Welbeck the name “Gretchen” is a diminutive of Margaret/Margarete in German. “-chen” on the end of a word means “little” so it’s like Meg, Maggie, Megs or Peggy or indeed Liz, Libby, Lizzie etc for Elizabeth.
I can’t see how it could be “beyond the pale” to you. .
How is it a description ?

smayed Wed 23-Sep-20 18:25:27

My granddaughter is called Ethel what's wrong with that.

Oopsadaisy4 Wed 26-Aug-20 18:19:25

Actually it isn’t the baby’s name that has caused the rift, it’s the OPs reaction to it.

I have sympathy if you were told the name and your jaw dropped in shock, but No sympathy if you went out of your way to tell them your thoughts.

I think my grandfather couldn’t get his head around my name so I was given a nickname which still follows me to this day, but no one seemed to have been upset by it ( only me!)

Daddima Wed 26-Aug-20 17:52:23

welbeck

Maud is regarded as a posh name now and very popular.
Mabel has also made a comeback.

i don't care for gertrude much, and Gretchen is beyond the pale. it took me a long time to realise that latter was really a proper name, rather than a description.
fortunately young parents don't seem to care for those two either.

My grandmother was called Maud, and my father always quoted the poem..

There was a young lady called Maud,
Who thought babies all came from God.
‘Twas not the Almighty
Who lifted her nightie
‘Twas Roger the lodger, the sod!

welbeck Tue 25-Aug-20 23:23:50

Maud is regarded as a posh name now and very popular.
Mabel has also made a comeback.

i don't care for gertrude much, and Gretchen is beyond the pale. it took me a long time to realise that latter was really a proper name, rather than a description.
fortunately young parents don't seem to care for those two either.

Maggiemaybe Tue 25-Aug-20 23:02:43

hollysteers, we were told that our first grandchild, if a girl, was going to be Maud. I can’t say we were keen at the time (though smiling through as you do, as it wasn’t our child!), but tastes change and I actually think it’s a lovely name now.

The grandchild was a boy. smile

Nannarose Tue 25-Aug-20 22:00:13

I have known a few children called after the place of their conception and they are lovely names - one was actually a place in Mongolia. but I don't think I can say which one!

BlueBelle Tue 25-Aug-20 21:38:42

I m so glad my daughter didn’t call her eldest daughter the name of the place she was conceived it was Outer Mongolia

ElaineI Tue 25-Aug-20 21:06:21

Arlo is the name of the dinosaur in the Disney film "The Good Dinosaur".

FarNorth Tue 25-Aug-20 16:21:03

It's only a name. My df's DD has become a boy!

No girl ever becomes a boy, or vice versa.
They just fit themselves into a different set of stereotypes and social conditioning.

Yes, it's only a name so why not use it?

welbeck Tue 25-Aug-20 15:58:43

exactly, respect he children.
it' not a one way street.
let them have some autonomy.
i think it's unhealthy to want to domineer and direct every detail of their lives.
they are individual people, growing into their own lives.

Summerlove Tue 25-Aug-20 15:14:01

But what does it hurt to call him by his chosen name? It’s his middle name! Not like being called “iron man”.

I so dislike when young peoples choices are ignored just because they are young.

Now is the chance to be “cool gramma who supports me”

Grammaretto Tue 25-Aug-20 14:31:13

Summerlove I don't agree. His parents haven't got used to the new name yet so I will see what happens. He is still only 8.
My DS aged 7 (not the boy's father) decided he didn't want to be his name but wanted to be X. We called him X all weekend but by the Monday he said we could call him by his name again.
He loves his name now but was possibly teased a little because it was unusual at the time..

Summerlove Tue 25-Aug-20 12:36:22

Grammaretto

I like all my DGC names and always have but 2 of them have decided that they don't like their names and want to be known by their middle names. The school, in one case, has been compliant and he has now "officially" changed his name.
I find it a bit strange. I am still going to think of him as he was before.
It's only a name. My df's DD has become a boy!

If it’s only a name, then please try to use his chosen one. You risk Alienating him over his chosen name

Alexa Mon 24-Aug-20 23:59:40

Cordelia

Grammaretto Sun 23-Aug-20 23:54:14

I like all my DGC names and always have but 2 of them have decided that they don't like their names and want to be known by their middle names. The school, in one case, has been compliant and he has now "officially" changed his name.
I find it a bit strange. I am still going to think of him as he was before.
It's only a name. My df's DD has become a boy!

annodomini Sun 23-Aug-20 22:51:53

My DDG' s middle name is that of a Shakespearean character who came to a very sad end. Her great grandmother was Desdemona. Not on my side of the family!

Callistemon Sun 23-Aug-20 21:14:55

Tweedle24

* Castillemon* Well! She was the wife of a king. Does that make us princesses lol?

I can't claim that Tweedle, her sister, my great grandmother, had a very plain name.
Very strange.

hollysteers Sun 23-Aug-20 19:04:59

My GD has a name which has come back into fashion and I mentioned it, along the way, before she was born as it’s a family name. Problem is, it’s so fashionable now she is surrounded by girls all with the same name.
My poor mother hated her name, Maud and said to my grandmother “Of all the lovely names in the world, you had to choose Maud”
She replied “Nothing wrong with it, it’s a good old fashioned name.” It sounds nice when the French use it though.

Tweedle24 Sun 23-Aug-20 14:53:04

* Castillemon* Well! She was the wife of a king. Does that make us princesses lol?

Summerlove Sat 22-Aug-20 23:37:34

FarNorth

^I know my niece has a horrible middle name and my mother bluntly told my sister it was awful.^

What's the point of that?
The proud parent is unlikely to say "Why, yes, now you mention it - it's awful.".

Because some people just need everyone around them to know all their thoughts.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 22-Aug-20 14:24:34

My beautiful granddaughter is called a very traditional boy’s name. Her other two Christian names are a French translation of the word ‘love’, and a military nickname!

FarNorth Sat 22-Aug-20 14:17:21

I know my niece has a horrible middle name and my mother bluntly told my sister it was awful.

What's the point of that?
The proud parent is unlikely to say "Why, yes, now you mention it - it's awful.".

Witzend Sat 22-Aug-20 13:23:13

I feel for you, OP. No, I haven’t hated any of my Gdcs’ names, thank goodness, but I know how I’d have felt if they’d picked any names I really don’t like, or any daft made-up ones, or a reasonable name with a ‘younique’ spelling, which is going to need spelling out for ever more.

I like to think I’d have glued a smile on somehow, but it would have taken some doing.