Move to be near daughter and family?

If you live an area and feel happy there I would be reluctant to move. You are a small but important part of your adult children's lives, unless you absolutely live through them. I have friends I never see now because their lives revolve around seeing family every day, it is not like that for our family, so I would live where my roots are and in a place I love.

I agree with Loobs. You may find the culture is very alien and the climate too. Renting will also give you time to look at property in the area, what prices are like and what's available.
Don't burn your boats too quickly, whatever you do. I'm sure DD will see the sense in being cautious, for her sake as well as yours.
Good luck.

Why not let your house and rent one near them for a year (or longer) that way once you settle up north (assuming you do) you could then make it permanent.

I won't move away from my friends, I have known them from before I had children. I see more of my friends than my family. The youngsters are more likely to move again too, children will grow up and move away as mine did. Friends win every time for me.

You will find property so much cheaper therefore having more money to spend.

I haven't read every single post and I'm unsure as to your (marital) status. If I were single, I'd move to be near my kid(s), no contest. I'd join SPICE or some similar social group and meet new people that way. Maybe volunteer or get stuck into some other organisation. Exciting times ahead!

Hard to say. Its better she's your daughter and not your DIL. I would say, stay where you are and visit once every 3 months till the answer becomes more clear for you.

I am a Yorkshire Lass, lived in Lancashire with DD whilst I returned to Collage as a mature student.

Met DH No3 & moved to Middlesex (Surrey), lived there for 23 years. DD moved to Devon when she was 21. After DH retired I took Early Retirement at 50. We moved to Somerset in 2011, approx half way between Devon & Surrey (where DH's DD & family lived)

DH died in 2013, I had always intended to move closer to DD, my DH was 14 years older than me. I waited 12 months before I put my house on the market. In 2015 I moved to Devon, I live about 10 miles from DD. I love being here, I'm independent & far enough aware not to be involved in childcare.

I would advise caution & in view of traumatic time you've had don't make any rash decisions you may regret.

Me, I don't regret anything, I've made friends, lots of clubs to join if I want to & the added bonus of seeing my family & watching DGSs grow up

Other way round for us two of our AC moved to be nearer us when their children were small. I think after the year you have had it might be better to wait a little longer before making a move. As others have said could you rent for a while preferably in Winter to see how it goes. Sometimes families don't have as much time to spend with you as you might imagine, so you will need to be prepared to get out and about on your own. Good luck with whatever you decide.

For my twopennorth..I moved 6 years ago to be close to my daughter, son in law and 4 grandkids...and never been happier.

We moved in the opposite direction almost four years ago and have absolutely no regrets. We were on our own with one child and her family in SE and the other with his family in USA. We decided to move whilst still young enough to build a new life for ourselves down here and we succeeded with no difficulty. For us the cost of housing was an issue, smaller house, smaller garden a lot more money but it was worth it, it’s given us a new lease of life.

My mother in law moved just around the corner from us and interfered causing lots of problems

As someone else has mentioned would you be prepared for a change in the weather? I often hear those further north saying they haven’t had a summer, whereas we in the south have had lots of sunshine and warm weather. I love the changing seasons but would hate to have a summer of a few days.

There are lots more sensible considerations that have been put to you, which need to be seriously considered.

ComeOnGran

Hi
Just wondering if anyone has moved house to be closer to grandkids. Daughter lives 200 miles away. I’m not retired yet, but I could work from home anywhere in the country. It feels a really big step (I’d be moving from the South of England to the North West) that I’m just not sure about.
I imagine there will be quite a few people who’ve done similar, or thought about it, and I wondered if anyone had any advice please!

.

My experience for what it is worth. I moved from the South to North East Northumberland to be near my D and family in 2016. It is a beautiful county and I live in a very attractive village on a coast-line of golden sands to the sea. My new home it is lovely and the people kind-hearted and I am very happy. I like my own company and do not visit the family unless invited which is often.

What is immediately obvious on arrival in the North is the cultural difference. Art, like the people, robust and inclined to be either rural or industrial hardy. Sophistication not its nature and, although unlikely to starve, fine dining almost impossible to find. The ease of shopping and variety available to Southern households not readily available either. This has improved since the onset of the Corvid 19 virus and online shopping extended - however it can be at a quite astonishing postage cost.

I am however twenty years older than you and on reflection would not have made the move North at your age. On the other hand, the price of property is going up by leaps and bounds here and second home-owners on the increase. Two houses near me put on the market sold in a week.

I have known several people who've moved here (Cumbria) from the south, for various reasons, and have moved back to the south - just because of the weather!
My daughter moved 200 miles south, and enjoys the drier warmer weather so much she's unsure if they'll ever return, even though thats what they intended to do. Perhaps try a long break up here in Feb when its really wet, (not with DD, perhaps an empty holiday let - they are usually ridiculously cheap, but about 10 miles away) and see how you think you'd cope?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I moved from the South West to the North West 8 years ago when my first grandchild was 6 months old. We were fortunate that both sons were in the NW and we now live equal distance from both of them.
Yes like other people have said the weather is wetter,at first I thought it was very industrialized but we have found many beautiful places to visit.
We now have 4 little ones and have no regrets. It is wonderful to see them growing and spending time with them.

This year has been a real rollercoaster with both MIL and my father passing away during lockdown, my DS and DIL taking a break from their marriage less than two years into it, and me having a total hysterectomy literally the week before lockdown.

It sounds like you have been through an horrendous time and as such, I would say not to make any life changing decisions for at least 12 months, if not 24 months. Your emotions will be all over the place so this is the time you should be looking to heal rather than causing yourself more stress. I think also that time will consolidate your thoughts on the subject and then you won't need to seek other people's viewpoints.
My husband's children moved over 200 miles away when they were younger and I wanted him to seriously consider relocating to be able to see them. He wouldn't because he wondered how many times we'd have to move on that basis. He was right, they all came back anyway!

Suggest you rent first and then decide

I wouldn't move from a place where I had friends, it is not easy to make friends at our age.

Could you perhaps consider moving into a smaller, cheaper property where you live and freeing up some money, so you could afford to visit your daughter, staying in a hotel near her more frequently than at present?

We were considering moving to be near our daughters and were lucky enough to be able to rent a property near them for a few months. For many reasons, it didn't work out so we returned to an area close but nicer than where we had previously lived. We are just over an hour away from the families but still closes to the places and things we want to do. Coincidentally we are in the North West and we love it but I can't recommend renting too much.

I'm moving closer to two of my children. At the moment, they have about an hour's drive to get here.

I don't want to be too close, however. I can foresee grandchildren just popping in and far too much babysitting if I do that.

I'm thinking a twenty or thirty mile distance would be ideal!

o.k I can only tell you my experience, like you moved more than once..
when we were in our early 50`s, dh wanted to move from Oxfordshire area, to North Yorkshire.. I could get a job there as I was main wage earner... so we did.. left two grown up sons here..
we were there for 10 years plus, made lots of friends and work colleagues,
then first gs born, and I felt the need to be nearer to them, weekend visits weren`t possible due to distance.

so I retired , just gone 60, earlier than I had planned, house prices ,! duh! so we had to downsize a fair bit.

had 20 years lovely retirement, but dh health had deteriorated and I concentrated on him.. no work colleagues, no friends, (well just one )

then he died, last November,, and so hard to make friends now,,, no one wants to know, (age ??) no work colleagues, too far away, and friends,, long way away..

so I am lonely,,
gks. lovely,, not huggy types, but ... well.. I do get to see them and of course they are grown up, or growing up...

would I do it again? I think so, but I am having to live with my friends and work colleagues (who would have been good company) too far away..

I go to local church, have done for 3 years now, but whilst chat, don`t want to be friends,,, again, I think the age has something to do with it..

I just have to live with being lonely I guess. or get confidence to go and have coffee`s on my own for example...

I’m with charleygirl. 15 years ago our DS & dil was so keen for us to move near them in Kent. Now they are off to Australia, which would have left us 200 miles from other family (in our approaching dotage).

After my partner died 18 months ago I moved to live nearer my two sons and their families. I certainly have no regrets and if my sons did move away I would still have my lovely neighbours and people I have met here. My sons live their own lives and have their own friends but I am near enough if I or they need help.