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Feeling anxious

(17 Posts)
Pinkypurple Thu 17-Sep-20 08:21:47

This is my first post and hope you wise ladies can help.
Outwardly I appear to be a confident person and can start a conversation with any stranger, but am getting that I don’t want to mix with people I know. As afterwards I analize everything I’ve said and worry if I’ve said the wrong thing, I would never say anything intentionally to upset anyone. I am now feeling the same with my family. I want the company but feel so low afterwards analizing what I’ve said. My DH does have something to put up with. After all I’m 71 years old.

FannyCornforth Thu 17-Sep-20 08:31:48

I was diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder when I was in my late teens. I'm in my late forties now
It has plagued me off and on all of my life.
Like you, I over analysed everything.
And worried about everything. All of the time. It gets worse at times of stress.
I suggest that you talk to your GP.
I am on a low dose antidepressant and it really helps.
I keep things in perspective much more now.
I'll always be a bit of a nervous wreck, but it's much more manageable.

PinkCakes Thu 17-Sep-20 12:28:06

Pinkypurple I'm exactly the same. I'm on an antidepressant, which helps with my depression, but the anxiety is ridiculous. Example - a neighbour invited me to go to lunch with her, in town (I'd been to this place before, with my husband)and for 2 weeks leading up to it, I worried about how I'd manage the multi-storey car park, what lane to be in whilst getting there, etc., etc. I even asked my husband to have the day off work and drive us there (he said no). I had palpitations, lack of sleep, all that. On the day, I drove there, went into the car park, found a place on the 1st floor, no bother. We had a lovely time and I wondered why I'd worried.

All I can say is that in my case, anyway, the anxiety is really about self-doubt and lack of confidence/fear of something new. I try to keep telling myself that I can do things, I am capable.

People who know me (or they know the persona I seem to project) think I'm confident, outgoing and very capable. That is what I try to portray.

Kate1949 Thu 17-Sep-20 18:25:59

It's awful isn't it? I'm a complete nervous wreck due to life events. It has now got completely out of hand. Even nice events make me have palpitations, my hands shake etc. I'm always catastrophising - waiting for the next awful thing to happen, afraid of my own shadow. I agree PinkCakes it's all down to confidence, of which I have none. I also do that thing of analysing what I have said and hoping I didn't upset anyone.

FannyCornforth Thu 17-Sep-20 18:35:28

Oh Kate, that sounds awful, please contact your GP.
I know that you think that it sounds trivial, but you cannot live your life like that.
Anxiety is now far better understood than it once was.
There are lots of books and online things available.
I urge you to seek them out if you haven't already done so
Anxiety is a terrible thing.

Kate1949 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:12:54

Thanks FannyCornforth I saw my GP before lockdown. She gave me medication which didn't help. I am working on myself and will go back in due course. Yes anxiety is awful. flowers for all of you who suffer.

FannyCornforth Thu 17-Sep-20 19:20:43

Kate, I'm sorry to hear that.
We just have to plod on.
I used to find that no-one understanding was the worst thing, bit they are all living on our world now thanks

Kate1949 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:26:38

Yes they are. It's no fun but as you say we'll plod on smile I've been anxious since childhood.

Kate1949 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:28:12

Apologies Pinkypurple I have taken over your thread. I hope you begin to feel better.

Juliet27 Thu 17-Sep-20 19:28:33

I remember a colleague once laughing at me saying 'oh I'm really worried, I've got nothing to worry about'.
I'm never completely relaxed.

FannyCornforth Thu 17-Sep-20 19:35:53

Please don't worry about worrying!
It's far more common than you think.
It's also a sign of high intelligence.
Just try to do more of what makes you happy.thanks

Marriedwithkids Mon 02-Nov-20 19:45:22

I have been anxious for years. I had to leave my last two jobs because of it. I just couldn't cope. I worry about everything and have 'black thoughts.' I went to a counsellor, but it didn't help. Eventually I tried CBT which was amazing. I would recommend CBT to everyone with anxiety as it is a method of rationalizing all the crazy thoughts. I did an online course. I think it is so sad that I didn't know about it before and wasted all those years driving myself nuts!

Pixieboots Tue 03-Nov-20 12:41:32

Hi, I posted on the health forum only this morning about anxiety - have a look at Sue Breton's books - Why Worry and Dont Panic. She is a retired psychologist. Also for more generalised anxiety have a look at Dr Claire Weeks books. She also has a dvd and cds. Dr Weeks was a pioneer with regard to self help and helping people who 'suffer with their nerves' as it used to be referred to.

Bluepoppy Wed 11-Nov-20 00:07:11

I'm 54 and was diagnosed with Generalised anxiety disorder five years ago but I think I have suffered with it most of my adult life, certainly since my mum died when I was a teenager.

The constant worry about one thing or another, over analyzing everything, being over sensitive to other people's comments and years of suffering with insomnia have caused me so much distress over the years and I didn't understand why I felt like I did.

I finally approached my GP in tears in 2015 and agreed to weekly CBT over the telephone (I didn't have to worry about being late or parking then!) and I found it very helpful.

I was given information sheets from Moodjuice to read through in between sessions, I think they are online for anyone who might be interested.

I don't think I'll ever be free of anxiety but CBT has certainly helped and it gave me a coping strategy which I can refer back to if necessary.

Like most people with GAD I cannot stand uncertainty and the current covid situation has been absolutely dreadful but I keep telling myself it's difficult for everyone and it's ok to feel like I do.

I wouldn't have thought like that before CBT so for anyone who suffers with anxiety, seek help and try CBT with an open mind. You are certainly not alone feeling how you do but do not suffer in silence. xxx

Nonni53 Fri 20-Nov-20 23:34:14

I have lived with anxiety and panic disorder my entire life. I am 67 now. It's been an ongoing struggle. Some years were not that bad, others were very tough to try and manage to get through a day.
I don't take any medication, although I do have an anti-anxiety med, Ativan, which I'll take on occasion if it gets too hard to manage.
I meditate, I exercise, I read books (thank you for the book recommendations) all methods do their part in helping me cope. I ran competitively for 30 years & that seemed to help a lot. I can no longer run which is hard to accept sometimes but my body just can't handle it; I've been through a serious health situation...
My thoughts go out to all of you; it's not easy to try and appear put together when inside everything is breaking down. I'll close with a quote that I have never forgotten. I was running a road race, I think I was in my late 30s at the was about 5 miles into the race and I started to get exhausted. It was a 10K so I had 1.2 miles to go, I prayed with everything I had to have enough energy to simply finish the race. Right at that moment, a woman cut in front of me wearing a T-Shirt with a quote on the back "Fear Behind, Road Ahead - Power Within" I thanked her silently for cutting in front of me. I thanked God & I took off picking up my pace, feeling strong and robust...and finished with a huge smile on my face. FEAR BEHIND, ROAD AHEAD - POWER WITHIN smile

FannyCornforth Sat 21-Nov-20 02:12:50

That's brilliant! Thank you Nonni flowers

hrnt Thu 24-Dec-20 08:49:11

Anxiety can develop at any age and have different consequences. You need to take tests and consult with a specialist to rule out other options. But anxiety can be dealt with quite easily, the main thing is to choose the right therapy.