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Parents getting older, us getting older, Covid still around, Winter!

(7 Posts)
Deny Wed 18-Nov-20 10:41:08

Hello
So with Winter coming, with its early dark evenings, rain, cold...etc. and with this Covid virus still around, I am feeling low in myself. I am so scared to go out, in case I pick up this virus. I think more about my dad and my husband's mum, who we haven't seen since March, although we do phone and video chat a lot, but I am worrying more about their age and know that they will eventually 'pass'. I am thinking more about illnesses in myself and husband, and worry about that too.................I seem to be worrying more about everything, which affects my sleep and mood...... I just feel that this is how life is going to be from now on and there is no end to this.....
How are others coping and feeling at the moment, in this Covid environment?

Luckygirl Wed 18-Nov-20 10:49:21

This too will pass. I know it is hard; and the patience involved is harder for us older adults as time is not on our side.

But we just have to grit our teeth and keep going. I am on my own, like many others, so take heart from the presence of your OH and find joy where you can.

jenpax Wed 18-Nov-20 10:53:32

Sorry you are feeling low. I don’t really have any advice to offer but wanted to send ?

Septimia Wed 18-Nov-20 10:55:42

It's miserable at this time of year even when things are 'normal'. The occasional sunny day, even if cold, brightens things up, but cloud, wind and rain get me down.

We're thankful that my FiL, the last of our parents, died a couple of years ago. He had Alzheimer's and would never have coped with the Covid restrictions in his own home. We'd have had to have him live with us and that would have been very hard work.

Ourselves, we try to keep busy one way or another. I could easily sit and worry about the situation but I try to concentrate on the things I can do.

I don't think life will be like this forever. It seems like it will, but there are one or two lights twinking faintly at the end of the tunnel. I hope that summer will again give us a bit more freedom - as long as we're careful. One of the scientists reckoned we could be back to more or less normal by this time next year, which seems a long way off but, of course, it won't be a sudden change, rather a gradual one so that we should see an improvement a bit at a time before that.

Don't be frightened to go out. It's thought that you need to spend 15 minutes in close proximity to someone to put yourself in danger of catching the virus. You're not likely to do that on a walk and the fresh air will make you feel much better. Try to choose a quiet time of day and walk somewhere with trees and grass if you can.

Shandy57 Wed 18-Nov-20 11:23:44

Big hugs Deny, we are living through pretty scary times, I do feel like having a good scream sometimes.

My husband died in 2016 and I know I would have been even more scared if he was still with me as he had COPD, he would have been very vulnerable. His death taught me a lot of lessons - in the event of my demise, I have made sure all of my paperwork is completely up to date, as well as writing letters to my kids and friends. I've let my filing pile up slightly, must do that today. I also want to prepay for my cremation at the Co-op, so my kids don't have to worry. My husband died suddenly and everything was in a dreadful mess, I feel comforted that everything is organised now and I can 'live'.

As for things to do, try to have something to look forward to every day, even if it's just a bubble bath. My 83 year old aunt is enjoying 'zoom' - she has services from her church, and singing. Enjoy just doing nothing with your husband, have crossword competitions, try cooking some new recipes, make some garden plans for next summer, play some board games, go for a nice self isolating walk together with a flask of coffee and find a bench with a view smile Send your family a postcard - I look forward to the post now.

The vaccine will be with us soon, hopefully everyone will be able to have it. Try not to worry, it changes nothing, we all have to find a way to live with this. Everything will be alright in the end, if it's not alright, it's not the end smile

MissAdventure Wed 18-Nov-20 11:28:42

It's hard not to worry, but worrying doesn't do a thing to reduce risk or prevent things happening.
What does work is reducing risks as much as possible, and not allowing worrying to become a big issue to deal with.

Deny Sun 22-Nov-20 10:55:41

Thank you for all your messages and advice.............I do hope you all have a lovely Christmas and, look forward to the New Year with hope...............I will try to do this.
x