Did your parents have a favourite child?

No I don't believe either of my parents had a favourite child, we were all treated equally.

No, my parents did not have favourites, although my youngest sister was convinced they did and it wasn't her. meanwhile my younger sister and I quite understood and joined in all the fuss around the baby in the family.

When we lived in Malaya she experienced a couple of frightening events, after which my parents were very protective of her, and again we too, older ones understood what had happened and why she was cossetted, so why she was convinced my parents, especially my mother, favoured her older daughters remains a mystery to this day.

My brother, definitely, the last of three, ‘a surprise’ and a boy, he got away with so much, even as an adult. As the first I was treated the strictest, to be expected, as I got older I had a lovely relationship with my Dad, less so my Mum. My sister as the middle child was, I saw in latter years, particularly after I left home, in a tricky position.

I think it’s probably not possible to be scrupulously fair to each child, sometimes the need of one child is greater than the needs of their siblings.
Some children see this and accept it for what it is, knowing that their parents would do exactly the same for them if the need arose, some make a mental note of everything, looking for any perceived injustice.
It’s not always easy is it?

My youngest brother. I think this was because he almost died at birth. He was spoilt a bit as a result but not just by my parents but myself and my brother as well. He was a favourite of all of us and obviously there was no resentment whatsoever. Incidentally he grew up to be one of the nicest people I know. The three of us are very close.

I have three sisters and I’m the eldest.
We were all the favourite at some point. In fact we used to joke about it and felt that we should have a board like they have in supermarkets.
Ours would have been magnetic and have Daughter of the week in big letters at the top!
Funny though isn’t it how we share a childhood but experience it differently. I learnt a little while ago that one of my sisters was a bit frightened of our dad when he shouted at her. Me, well I stamped my feet and shouted back.

Emphatically - their baby. I’m the middle of three daughters and I was “another girl” from birth. By the time they died, I was almost non existent to them and the sisters... Not seen or spoken to sisters for over 20 years, not a bundle of fun. It would be nice to share some of our childhood and adolescence.

My parents had two favourite children, me and my brother. I must have got that gene because I favoured my children in exactly the same way.

I am the eldest of three sisters. Definitely not the favourite, that was my middle sister. She had beautiful dark red hair and deep brown eyes, and passed the 11plus, whereas my youngest sister and I had mousey brown hair and green eyes, and went to the sec. mod.
I always felt that my mother favoured her, but never felt that way about my Dad.

I'm not sure that either of my parents had a favourite out of my younger brother and I.

That said, my mum was a physical disciplinarian and she was forever lashing out at me, and never at my brother - very probably because I was very precocious, and mum worked very long hours with no help from Dad at home, and no supportive family on hand either.

My DH was never physically disciplined by either of his parents and he finds my history with this somewhat horrifying, though in all honesty I can't say that its had a long term effect on me.

Fast forward many years and in his advanced years my late father used to confide things in me that I know he did not with my brother. I think this was to do with Dad being wary of my SiL than any feelings of favourtitism though.

I think individual children can require more time and attention for different reasons and at different times, so parents may well be focussed on one child for a period, but this doesn't mean that there is any favouritism.

I am sure my brother was the favourite, the only boy who came after three girls, (there was another girl after him!) I was the eldest and everything was always my fault.

My brother too nearly died a week after birth, and I think that made him all the more precious to DM.

There was skinny, plain me and my cute little brother. My parents used to say of me, “Never known a child like it,” and not in a good way!

I have a sister. I don’t think our parents displayed any tendency to favouritism. Lucky us. We were just a small, happy unit. No living grandparents growing up. Mum had suffered herself in childhood - her own mother dying when mum was only 9y. Her dad remarried and worked abroad a lot and sadly she had the stepmother from hell. Truly awful tales that we got told once we were young adults.

She said it made her absolutely determined that her own children would have the best, most loving and supportive childhoods she could provide.

? for those who had a tough time.
There are some very sad stories on here. x

It was complicated for me, eldest of four daughters, I had a very close bond with my fathers sister , we moved when I was
11 and I played hell, wanted to stay where I was born in a mining village in my Aunt’s house. I hated the country village my parents moved to, my sisters loved it, it was agreed I went back home every weekend and school holidays , I didn’t know I was hurting my Mother, i even named my firstborn after my Aunt. I wish I could say I am sorry but I would do the same again,I know my Mum loved me .

I don’t think my mother ever really loved me, but I know my dad did, and when I was little, that was good enough, he was a good dad.

My two brothers have always maintained that my sister and I were the favourites. I say my sister was. But she came along when I was thirteen, so I doted on her, the same as the rest of us. She was a darling and still is.

jaxjacky Ditto, the longed for son after 2 girls. Quote from mother when we were in our twenties "I love my girls but my boy is special" Had a good bond with dad but always fraught with mother. Have an idea that my sister felt the same.

I never had any favourites out of my 4 though I used to get more annoyed with certain ones who would never do what they were told! I was definitely my parent’s favourite - I was the one and only but I had a hard childhood with both parents quite badly damaged by wartime experiences. Guess that went for a lot of us postwar babies.

My mother once told me that it was natural for a mother to feel differently about a son. I was still very young at the time.

I only had dds (and never once wished that either had been a boy) so no personal opportunity to test her theory, but in much later life I wondered (and worried about) whether I’d feel differently about Gdc2 (a boy) and love him more than Gdc1 (a girl). (Even if I did my damnedest not to show it.)

Very happy to say that I’ve experienced absolutely nothing of the sort.

It’s probably relevant that my mother didn’t really like women in general, or at least she only felt comfortable with them if they were older, less educated, less attractive, etc.
We deduced that she felt somehow threatened by any woman outside those criteria. She’d never been a very confident type, though.

My mother was a “narc” I was the scapegoat and my brother the golden child.
It was a grim childhood.
My mother died last year, the relief was enormous.

i always thought i was the black sheep when i was younger being older i know realise i wasnt, my eldest thinks shes the black sheep she isnt at all i love them all the same i just get in better with my middle daughter , my eldest and i are so alike we clash terrible but i certainly dont love her any less

My parents (or my mother to be precise) had a favourite.. my brother who is four years younger than me. They had four girls until they got him. I was the favourite until he came along - nooo im not bitter ;-) but there is a photo of me when i was 5 and he was 1 - we had a photgrapher come to the house - and he asked me to move in closer and put my arm around my brother. I am smiling sweetly into the camera whilst he is screaming blue murder. I am or may not have been pinching him :-)

Most definitely, there are 4 of us and it was the 2nd oldest, my brother that was my mum’s favourite, I am the oldest.
I didn’t get on with my Mum until I left home and she never once told me she loved me although , oddly, she told my husband she did. She died aged 64 in a needless, could have been avoided always ( whole other story) but I still have unresolved issues as I never felt good enough no matter what I achieved