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Why are so many people so angry?

(95 Posts)
Ealdemodor Thu 06-May-21 12:09:04

My husband is a lorry driver, delivering building materials to sites or people’s homes.
He often has to block the road for the short duration he is unloading with a crane or “grabber”.
This morning, some crazed hothead started arguing with the builder and refusing to move his car. He then tried to let down the lorry tyre with a screwdriver, which my husband at first feared was a knife.
This kind of incident is sadly not unusual. My husband is often sworn at and even threatened.
It seems to be the default setting for so many people now - a minor inconvenience, so let’s go berserk.

Lucca Thu 06-May-21 12:12:23

I don’t know why, but you are right! Like people who “complain” unpleasantly in restaurants. If I think the food is not right I will always say so but there are ways to do that without being rude.

JaneJudge Thu 06-May-21 12:14:21

That sounds horrible sad

I suppose at the moment people are under a lot of emotional and financial stress. People are frightened they may become ill or their loves ones may become ill. They have lost someone to covid the last year as there have been awful lot of families affected. They may have lost their job or be on reduced hours and wages. For some people the stress of that manifests itself in anger. It doesn't excuse that behaviour though.

I remember during the last lockdown I took my daughter who has autism out for a daily drive and the one day this couple, I'd say in their 50s, started doing the w**ker sign to us and verbally swearing at us grin it was quite shocking but I tried to quantify it by thinking they must be having a much worse time of it than i was

nanna8 Thu 06-May-21 12:15:18

I have never,ever understood road rage. My husband gets it sometimes, nothing violent, just beeping horns and comments. I can honestly hand on heart say I never get that way on the road. Certainly I do in other scenarios but never to do with traffic and drivers, never that. I used to think it was a male thing but experience has taught me that women can be just as angry. Especially the youngish mums !

JaneJudge Thu 06-May-21 12:16:13

There is bloke by us too who runs a local business who goes beserk at everyone. He had a go at me the one day and was really quite aggressive. I had forgotten all about it until the other day when a man in a car was screaming and shouting at everyone, yep it was him. His blood pressure must be through the roof

Daisend1 Thu 06-May-21 12:27:47

At my previous property when ever any of us were having work carried out which could block access/ exit we would ask the contractor to advise our neighbours of the inconvenience it may cause. This at least would help in making alternatives as to how they could access their own properties with out inconvenience..
People DO appreciate being forewarned but there will always be one or two that complain .

Namsnanny Thu 06-May-21 12:31:10

I don't know if there is more aggression than years ago.
I remember my husband being threatened with a 'punch in the face' because he asked someone if he should wait for them to finish unloading, or find another parking space!
Quite a reasonable question I thought.
Stoicism isnt the rage (pun intendedsmile) anymore.

Blossoming Thu 06-May-21 12:32:06

I hope your husband reported the screwdriver threat, that sounds frightening.

love0c Thu 06-May-21 12:40:46

I tend to sort of agree with the OP. Myself I have just found over the last few months just how unfriendly people have become when out walking. Very few make eye contact now and if you say hello to a stranger they look at you like you are mad. I try to stay positive and enjoy it when someone smiles back at me and does say hello!

keepingquiet Thu 06-May-21 12:40:58

Apparently we are getting kinder and less aggressive as a species. I watched something on BBC 4 about this the other night....some may disagree of course.

Dee1012 Thu 06-May-21 12:47:47


Apparently we are getting kinder and less aggressive as a species. I watched something on BBC 4 about this the other night....some may disagree of course.

I wish that was true although working in the courts I'm afraid I'd disagree.
I see more cases of anti social behaviour (with violent undertones) and actual violence daily.

keepingquiet Thu 06-May-21 12:52:47

Maybe it's just us? Social cohesion is poor, young people left out and social competition encouraged by marketing and the media.
I have been to the doctors and petrol station this morning, spoken to several people on the phone as part of my work and everyone was incredibly friendly if not upbeat. Maybe I just live in a really nice place?

Kamiso Thu 06-May-21 13:00:41

In our neighbourhood people are much more likely to smile or say hello than in precovid days. Prior to that I would have said this is the least friendly area we’ve lived in.

Sara1954 Thu 06-May-21 13:25:15

Unfortunately I know exactly what you mean.
I work in a business where the combination of Covid and brexit has meant that we
Have a lot of difficulty supplying some items, some of our lead times are autumn.
You would not believe how we are spoken to, sworn at, accused of lying. People who say Covid is just an excuse and they’re sick of it.
I would like to say we’re all used to it, and don’t take much notice, but it’s still not very nice.

nanna8 Thu 06-May-21 13:35:13

During our lockdown everyone was out walking whereas now and usually they are always in cars. It was really nice because we all chatted when we met and at the very least waved and smiled. Now we are not in any isolation the walking has stopped though mostly people still talk to each other in supermarket queues. They are fairly friendly round here as a rule, unlike the city and suburbs further in.

Amberone Thu 06-May-21 13:43:02

I worked in a couple of hotels when I was younger as a receptionist. I was stunned at how rude and disrespectful people were even then - people who would probably consider themselves friendly, kind and thoughtful if you asked them. I doubt any of us see ourselves as we really are. I went to work in an office where people didn't kick off because they were known.

I do think that more people are getting physical as well as verbal, and so few people have any patience any more - so many people are so self-involved (or even self-obsessed) that any little thing that gets in their way causes a meltdown. It's showing a lot in the driving round our way.

M0nica Thu 06-May-21 13:51:54

It is like running red traffic lights. DH and I were out yesterday to a town 30 miles away. With all the housebuilding going on in the county, there were lots of temporary traffic lights and at each one the lights would go red and the line of traffic would not stop, 3 or 4 cars would cross when the lights went red. DH stopped at one set of traffic lights as they went red, only to have the car behind us go on to the other side of the road accelerate past us and go through the lights several seconds after they had gone red.

Sara1954 Thu 06-May-21 13:55:14

I have had that on several occasions, it makes you feel nervous about stopping at a red light, in case the car owner behind goes crazy!

Sara1954 Thu 06-May-21 14:08:57

But as to why they’re so angry, I suspect they are just nasty people.
Luckily they’re greatly outnumbered by kind, friendly, polite people.

Aveline Thu 06-May-21 14:21:23

For no reason I can think of, DH has appalling road rage. We try to laugh him out of it or to encourage him to see that the other driver may have a good reason for eg driving at 30 mph or that someone needs to park where they do but its no use. He has two moods- OK and furious and nothing in between.
He's very nice at home I should add.

Dottynan Thu 06-May-21 14:37:55

I was sat on the right hand turn of traffic lights. The two sets of lights to our left were for straight on and left turn. The straight on set turned to green while ours were still at red. The car in front misread the lights and went through on red so the white van honked me to follow him. Was most put out when I wouldn't move to ours turned to green.

JaneJudge Thu 06-May-21 14:39:37

You get an automatic 3 points for jumping a red light, they all (most?) have cameras on now

JaneJudge Thu 06-May-21 14:41:45

I'm going to be rude now <oh dear> but me and my older son call the roundabout where the A1 meets the M25, masturbaters island as people are either being a w**ker on it or calling someone else one blush

Lollin Thu 06-May-21 14:46:30

I have wondered if it’s partly the insular lives we are getting deeper and deeper in to from a younger age. There are people who make a living from playing devils advocate. Social media is full of indignation. Will continuous developments in technology and now home working make us even more antisocial I wonder.

Amberone Thu 06-May-21 14:49:22

We have seen the same thing a couple of times Monica, but what is potentially more dangerous is that three times now, when turning right at a roundabout, some clown has come past on our left (outside lane) at speed to overtake us on the roundabout. On the last occasion my OH didn't see him speeding up beside us and we both nearly tried to exit on the single lane road. Luckily I spotted him out of my mirror and told OH, who swerved back onto the roundabout. I think a lot of people got used to little traffic during lockdown and now consider other road users to be in their way.