getting a social life

Lullubelle500 i know what you mean. I too have absolutely nothing in common with husband. He just wants to sit in front of tv all day while i am out and about every day. It is wuite lonely as you are really a single person.

HowVeryDareYou regarding tearfulness, it is a common reaction.
And quite understandable anyway. Everything has been thrown up in the air - so to speak.
Just keep on keep on keeping on, trying out new things.
And …try and forget about “age groups” it’s not school and you won’t catch oldness
Enjoy this time out while you can and treat it as a sort of gap year?

LizH13 I currently get Employment Support Allowance (it is contribution-based, on the amount of National Insurance I'd paid in over the past 2 years). it's £74, paid fortnightly.
Although I'm virtually recovered, I've got a problem with my shoulder (injury, nothing to do with the stroke), so there are some things I struggle with - getting dressed/undressed, housework, etc. I'm waiting for "specialist" physiotherapy at the hospital (no date yet) and a steroid injection next week.

I was made redundant in my late 50s - and accidentally became involved in politics for the first time in my life. I became a town councillor, then a district councillor (in opposition) then we won the last local elections and now I am in the district council Cabinet. I am also a trustee of a local charity and of a local community centre. If you had told young me this would have happened I would never have believed it! It has made me very aware of what a valuable contribution the voluntary sector make, both on a practical level and on just keeping things going. Parish councils are not normally politically elected - and often need people. Charities need trustees as well as ground workers, schools need governors. Community centres need committees and trustees to keep them going. There is lots out there, I am sure you will find your place - and wonder where all your free time went.

If you are not fit to work surely you would be entitled to claim benefits, this would then count towards credits for your pension. It would help you financially and then you would be able to volunteer. Do ask your dr why he doesn’t think you should work.
This group, set up by someone I know who had a severe stroke in his 40s gives lots of information about support
www.strokeinformation.co.uk/home/
Good luck with your recovery

Join a choir!! There will always be one in most areas and you'll love it!! I did so ten years ago , then left when I was on GK duties for 3years , then I joined another due to transport issues with the first, now I'm back with my original crew and it's brilliant, it's my only social activity but wouldn't miss it for the world. AND no audition and you don't have to be a 'singer' you'll fit right in! Hope you give it a go! XX

To sazzl, I had a similar experience to yours when I joined the U3A. All the groups I was interested were full. So I, with some trepidation started my own: memoir writing. I’d taught English and been writing my own memoir for years but I had no real knowledge of the genre. To my pleasure a group formed and we’ve been meeting happily for 4 years. I put my name down for 2 other groups and eventually got accepted. I’ve met some really good people through the U3A. Be persistent and pester the group leaders.

Joining a group to go walking helps you get out in the fresh air & mix with others. Try 'Meet up groups' & see what there is going on in your area? I love joining the walks.

I retired just over a year ago and the old saying 'I don't know how I ever had time to go to work' certainly applies. I volunteer at the food bank, usually doing their deliveries once a fortnight, though occasionally help at the sessions making up bags and sorting stock. The bags are quite heavy though, so I often get help getting them to my car. I also volunteer once a week with a church group making food and drinks for local kids while they wait for buses to school in the next town. I used to do that when I worked part time but had to give up when I moved to a full time job. It's a very early start but good for me so I don't waste the day. I sing in a choir and in my church worship team and I've now joined a 'simply walk group once a week. We walk for an hour - usually fairly level on footpaths - then we go for a sociable cuppa at the local community hall. When I first went I found I already knew about 3 or 4 members, either from church or former choir members etc but I've got to know the others now too. I also attend two church small groups - one daytime and one in an evening. The members of the daytime group are mostly older than me but the evening group are all much younger. I don't really think too much about their ages - we just become friends through a common interest.
In the run up to Christmas I've been out to two Christmas meals and I've another booked for next week with the walkers. I'm struggling to fit in all these social occasions at the moment.
After the early start breakfast group I stay on for a group aimed at older residents called 'The meeting place' which is coffee cake and a natter. I usually sit with the ladies who sew though I don't generally join in their joint projects as I have some of my own projects I need to work on.
We are lucky to have a local free magazine which comes out 6 times a year with local info and a 'what's on' in it. I think the local library has a few things going on though I've not gone to anything yet as I welcome a bit of time at home just chilling. I deliver the magazine to the houses in my road but one of my friends delivers a big box full!
There are lots of volunteering opportunities around and they enable you to make friends with the other volunteers.
I know our area has lots going on and I've been involved with quite a lot of it long before I retired, but I'm sure most places have similar things. Local libraries often have information about local groups if you need a place to start.
Good luck getting busy and making new friends.

For anyone interested in school volunteering, an organisation called Bookmark connects reading volunteers with children in school who need extra reading support . It can be online , or in some areas can be in person ( at the moment ) .

U3A has an online version :

vu3a.org/

SuRu Thank you. I hope you're doing well now xx

HarmonypussI'm not "off sick" from any employment. I wasn't working before all this, I was helping a friend (12 hours a week) who has Dementia, and in return, she paid my council tax (£130 or thereabouts each month). My GP said I was unfit for work, but when I see her on Wednesday, I'll see what she says now.

I've never claimed a penny of any type of benefit in my life (nor has my husband, who works full-time).

WI will make you welcome

Grammaretto

I joined U3A a year or 2 ago when I thought I was old enough. You are supposed to be over 55 or retired.
I am in my early 70s
www.u3a.org.uk/
There are many interest groups within the organisation so it doesn't matter whether you just want to go for interesting walks or learn Greek there will be something you can join.

My MiL goes to a day centre but she really is old.
Looks like you have made a start with the Aqua fit and seeing a friend.
It depends where you live but there will be art and craft classes too and if there aren't and that's what you want then start one.

Volunteer if you are fit enough. Citizens Advice? something where you don't have to be too physically fit.

There is no age limit, either upper or lower, in joining u3a. Members just need to be retired or semi-retired.

HowVeryDareYou Is there a local café nearby? You could start a 'chatting' table. There is one in our village. A table for 6 - 8 people where you go and then anyone who is on their own can join you. It is really popular and a good way to meet new friends.

Are the charity shops open now? Some time ago now my sister wanted to get out of the house away from her miserable husband and as well as joining U3A worked in a charity shop for three days a week.

I'm actually surprised you're allowed to do anything if you're considered not well enough to go to work.
Many employers would be saying that if you're well enough to do a,b,c, then you're well enough to be back at work. Just saying.

How Very Dare You, I retired by mistake (long story) followed by the death of my mother and a mini-stroke for me. I was severely depressed for over two years without realising it, until I found our local u3a and became its Treasurer.

Do not be put off by the few negative reports of unfriendly groups - the majority are just the opposite. Ours u3a is often compared to a neighbouring group as being welcoming.

There is no age limit to join a u3a - the key is that you should be in your "third age" of life having been a child and a working adult. We have lots of members who've moved to part-time working and join us to fill their spare time. It saved my life after working a 70-hour week and feeling lost.

Obviously you can join various "interest groups" (if there is space and it suits your level of ability) but if not, start your own group. Group Leaders aren't always the most knowledgeable of the group - a group of knitters can teach each other/share patterns/natter - the Leader simply arranges where and when to meet, keeps records etc.

Don't be put off by the word "University" either - some groups do involve learning of an academic nature, others are just platforms for sharing experiences. There are no exams and plenty of members have held manual jobs in their earlier lives. Basically, no-one cares what job you did or how old you are. I was 60 when I joined and very much the "baby" at the time. We have plenty of 80-year-olds who like a good laugh - and even swear at times! Some of them are way fitter than me.

If you feel, after a while, you would like to help on the Committee, I can assure you that it is very difficult to encourage people to join Committees, let alone take on a particular responsibility - of which there are lots, even if it's just been "refreshments co-ordinator" for the monthly meetings or coffee mornings.

Good luck in your quest - in a couple of years you'll look back and wonder why you were worried.

Meg

this was supposed to say It's great fun

I too go to a day centre once a week,,but as a volunteer.I've been doing it for 7 years,I'm 70 now.The other volunteers are my age group,now of course we have some members who are the same age as the volunteers.It's great fun,and I'm doing something useful too,I enjoy taking a turn at bingo calling,taking meals and drinks to members,and just chatting with them.How VeryDareYou,could you perhaps offer to help out,explaining that you are younger than the group,and feel you could be helping.

There was a knitting group in my area that was knitting dolls and dolls clothes for dementia sufferers in local care homes . It’s worth looking online to see if there is something similar where you live .

WI or Townswomen's Guild.
We are not all old fogies and many groups have a wide variety of activities.

I'm really lonely too and feel I might just as well not get up in the morning. I've lost touch with all my old friends - they moved away long ago (before the days of texting or e-mails. I am married but have realised since DH retired that we have absolutely nothing in common. I have a wonderful family, sons and brothers and sisters but no one just for me. If that makes sense! I love the idea of hearing children read (when the term begins again and present Covid troubles are eased). One of my children was a slow learner reading and I loved helping, except there never seemed enough time. Now, I have nothing but time in the day. Thanks Gran for the suggestion.

We moved to a village at the start of lockdown last year and meeting people was a problem. Since the easing of restrictions, short mat bowls has been my salvation. Light exercise, not too competitive, enjoyable and very friendly.