Feeling useless at everything

(and) my paintings, DIY, knitting etc. attempts have been called quirky, odd, individual, rustic and boho. I could easily take offence, but no, I'm proud of them all - and enjoy the making. My latest creation, a large, simple, scrap wood, solid star hangs on the wall. Surprisingly, it's been admired by my best friend!

You are the same as everyone else, we all have a list of what we cannot do. Sounds as though you are a bit down today and concentrating on the negatives.

Difficult when you are in that frame of mind but do try to make a list of what you can do, the list will be longer.

Don't let not going on motorways bother you, you can drive a for ever and never need to go on a motorway, no one says you MUST go on a motorway, just take the oldie roads like we all used to, they are a lot quieter these days.

So enjoy the old roads, yes make take a bit longer but what the heck.
So one problem solved

Sorry to read about you you are feeling. I actually am rubbish at all the things you list and come from a family (sister, cousins) of very high achievers. However it never really bothered me. I put that down to my parents who always accentuated the positive in me. I could sing and had/have a sense of humour. My Mother was a great cook/baker, I can't do either of those things to any reasonable standard but haven't poisoned anyone yet. My Dad very intelligent, taught himself to play the piano and cello, he would play the piano and teach me to sing, (neither he nor I had the patience to be teach me the piano.) Anything that needs doing round the house either my OH does it or we find the money to get a professional in. Please don't think you are alone in not being able to achieve what others do. You can drive, you can use the computer/mobile phone, you are literate, you see I don't know you and can list 3 things you can do that so many mature people can't do.

I am so sorry you feel like this.

Please sit down and make a list of things you like doing.

Most of us are good at the things we enjoy, and even if the result isn't perfect we have fun doing them.

Then make a list of the things you are good at doing.

There are things you are good at - everyone is good at something.

Right now you are down in the dumps, but I wonder: have you always compared yourself and been compared with your sisters?

I'll bet they are not good at everything either.

You were unfortunate with the woman who refused to teach you how to wallpaper a room - but some people are like that - it would hurt them to show others how to do anything. Ignore her. If you want to learn something - find a nice person who will be happy to see you becoming good at it.

Do you like dogs? Or did you just volunteer there because it is the sort of thing your sisters do?

Volunteers are needed in all sorts of places, so if you want to volunteer think about what or whom you would be happiest working with. You might be happier working with the cats in the cat-and-dog home, or visiting the old and infirm, or trying to clear up rubbish people leave in public places along with other like-minded volunteers, or helping the house-bound with their shopping.

But please, do what you want to, not what your sisters and mum want you to. I had a domineering mum, so feel tempted to assume this is your problem too. It's not "nice" of me, but it help me to make a list of the things I knew my mum wasn't good at - quite a long list came to mind.

January is dark and depressing and this one is particularly nasty. Don't let it get you down. Do something nice for yourself.

If you really cannot find the way out of this dark mood, make an appointment with your G.P and ask for a little help.

Stop comparing yourself with other people all the time and take confidence in your lack of confidence.

I am mildly dyspraxic whuch means I am the original clumsy child, falling over my feet, spilling things. If there is wall with wet paint on it, I will always get some on my clothes, always the clothes I most like. To rub it in I come from a family of dexterous needle women, Grandmother, mother and aunts, sister, daughter and granddaughter.

I stopped sewing because everyone was better than me, everyone was nice to me, always tried to help me, trying to show me the right way to do anything, but always saying, essentiall, i was doing it wrong

Everything was turned upside down when adult DD turned to me one day and said, "Forget 'if a things worth doing it is worth doing well'. Say, instead,'If a things worth doing it is worth doing badly' " Think about it.

I did and when I have written this post, I am going up stairs to get on with my needlework. My specialty is home furnishings, I make curtains, cushion covers, have re-covered a settee (with help from DD)

Nothing I have made would bear inspection from even a half- good needlewoman, but they look OK and I like them.

So turn your life around, quite literally and take pride in what you do, it may not be perfect, but it is the best you can do. Stop giving a toss for other people's opinions.

Although it seems to me, your real problem is you. You did some paintings, you thought they were amateurish, you threw them away. Why did the fact that they werent perfect make you throw them away? What is wrong with having pictures in your house that do not conpare with those in the National Gallery. DH has been a hobby painter. His pictures are 'amateurish', but they are still hanging on the wall in the hall. A friend's house has her DHs, less than perfect pictures in every room.

I would support all those who suggest you seek counselling. There must be a reason you are so negative about everything and so determinedly see yourself as a failure. It does seem internally generated rather than driven by other's comments. Counselling could help

I took my driving test 5 times before I passed. It was another 10 years before my dyspraxia was diagnosed, which explained all the problems I had had passing the test.