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Can a relationship with someone half your age work?

(32 Posts)
Helenlouise3 Fri 06-May-22 20:45:06

Our son met his ex wife when he was 16. They were together for 26 years, but separated last year. He has 4 children, 3 with his wife and one with another lady. He's now met a lady half his age, who in fact is only 3 years older than his eldest child. They've just moved in together and I have to say I haven't seen him this happy for many years. She's a lovely lady/girl and we get on well with her. However I just can't get past the fact that he's twice her age. Can this possibly work?

AGAA4 Fri 06-May-22 20:53:26

If they are happy together that's all that matters. Nobody can predict how long a relationship will last whatever the ages of the couple.

Grannybags Fri 06-May-22 21:14:32

My niece is married to a man twice her age. They have been together 20+ years and have a teenage daughter. They still seem to be very happy.

Allsorts Fri 06-May-22 21:36:33

I knows people with a large age gap with very happy relationships. It does get problematic with old age though I think. If you fall in love you’re not going to worry about the future though. I would be disappointed if one of my granddaughters did it though, but stay quiet.

JaneJudge Fri 06-May-22 21:42:21

If he was 16 when he met his ex wife, who is the the other child with? confused

Personally, I don't have a problem with age gap relationships. I have friendships with people much younger and much older than me so I suppose it's only the same

Katie59 Sat 07-May-22 08:02:28

Success depend on the individuals.

My nephew marries a 21yr old when he was 40yrs, she chose well, they are a good couple. But she was not like your usual 21 yr old, very mature, works hard and can drink a pint of beer as fast as him. Saw them last night at a party which she organized they seem very strong together and she definitely wears the trousers.

CoffeeFirst Sat 07-May-22 08:07:50

Yes it can work. Age is just a number and if you connect with someone it really doesn’t matter.

Best of luck to them.

Spice101 Sat 07-May-22 08:12:32

JaneJudge

If he was 16 when he met his ex wife, who is the the other child with? confused

Personally, I don't have a problem with age gap relationships. I have friendships with people much younger and much older than me so I suppose it's only the same

Maybe he had a relationship after the marriage break up!

Hetty58 Sat 07-May-22 08:18:32

Yes, the age difference isn't a problem - it's different views on life and hopes for the future that can be.

I was engaged to a wonderful man just ten years older than my eldest. We believed that love conquers all and were very happy together, focussed on our careers.

Still, it gradually dawned on me that he wanted a family - and a wife at home to take care of them. I'd done that already and wasn't about to start over again at 45!

Baggs Sat 07-May-22 08:40:00

Wait and see.

Helenlouise3 Sat 07-May-22 22:09:45

Jane judge - he went off the rails at one point and he and his wife separated. This is when the other child was conceived. When they got back together, they had the 4th child. I should point out that he has a good relationship and pays/looks after all 4 children.

Cabbie21 Sun 08-May-22 19:15:11

Friends of mine have a 24 year age gap. He is now 74, with a number of serious health problems, including a knee he cannot bend at all. I think she is just beginning to realise how much the age difference is affecting her. She doesnt talk about it, or complain, but you can see how exhausted she is. Mind you, health can take a bad turn at any age.

Audi10 Tue 17-May-22 17:40:14

Firstly you cannot help who you fall in love with! As long as you get on well, have good conversation! Enjoy your life together! I think it can get more challenging when there are serious health problems and the younger one has to step in as a carer! But if you love them you take it in your stride, although I do know of a lady in our village that took off when her husband 18 years older became immobile saying she wasn’t ready to be anyones carer at her age! Really sad ! Took off with someone much nearer her age! Poor man left alone! Some it works for some it doesn’t.

foxie48 Tue 17-May-22 18:12:32

My first husband was a lot older than me and the main problem was that I changed quite a lot as I matured whereas he didn't as he was already quite mature when we married. We divorced after 14 years of marriage and I felt as if I'd been released back into the world. He's still going strong and I'm happily married to someone who is 6 years younger than I am. I think it can work but it often doesn't.

ShropshireMiss Tue 17-May-22 19:00:04

I’ll be fifty this year and the thought of being married to a 74 year old who can’t bend his knees fills me with dread. It would be like being a carer for an elderly relative.

dragonfly46 Tue 17-May-22 19:04:58

My 79 year old DH can still bend his knees! 😀

MissAdventure Tue 17-May-22 19:07:18

grin

MerylStreep Tue 17-May-22 19:17:39

ShropshireMiss
You have a very distorted view of 74 yr olds.
Mine goes to the gym every day. Races his hot rod ( which he built) at SantaPod. Is still asked to help ( as crew) on sailing boats. And much more.

ShropshireMiss Tue 17-May-22 20:25:03

Perhaps 50 and 74 is doable, I’m not so sure about when the lady reaches retirement age when she is 67 and her 24 years older husband is 91. Fun retirement?

HowVeryDareYou Tue 17-May-22 21:48:20

When my son was 23, he got with a lady of 50. She was his boss, was living separately from her husband (albeit in the same house) and her children were then 21 and 19 (both left home). he left her husband, sold the house, moved in with us for 3 months (she was 2 years older than me) and she and my son bought a place together. They were together about 9 years, then the difference in age really showed. He left, and got his own house, she still lives in the one they were buying.

aonk Tue 17-May-22 22:27:34

A good friend of mine married a divorced man who was quite a lot older. He had teenage children and she found it hard to cope with them and her own small children at the same time. She is still young and active but he died some years ago and she was his carer for a long time before that.

Jane43 Tue 17-May-22 22:39:31

dragonfly46

My 79 year old DH can still bend his knees! 😀

So can mine, he was working in the garden this afternoon, kneeling and getting up many times.

MissAdventure Tue 17-May-22 22:42:02

So, a 74 year old with bendy knees is ok? smile

ShropshireMiss Tue 17-May-22 22:56:06

Imagine retiring at 67…with a 91 year old husband.

MissAdventure Tue 17-May-22 22:58:37

I suppose itlr the chemistry is right, it's very little to do with going places and doing things together.
With the right person, an evening at home can be fun, and you can both wear your pjs. smile