Can a relationship with someone half your age work?

I would be rather more concerned about the son's family of four children. If my calculations are correct, (they well may not be) he is about 43, the woman 21 and his oldest child 18. A great deal of responsibility still, not least of all financially.

When we got together, I was 26 and DH 52. That was 24 years ago

Im not a fan of directive language like ‘Should ‘ however from my own experience of living very happily for many years with a much younger man, I’m in agreement with dogsmother Age is just a number. For me it’s been shared values, and a shared vision of how life is to be lived and a good dose of humour that has sustained our relationship.

It’s hips and backs, not knees, that are the problem here.

With DH (76) - RA, OA ?‍?

Me (50) - awaiting THR and OA??‍?

Ddog (8) - cruciate ligament problems and possible OA ?

Dcat (9) - is holding the fort, flying the flag etc ?

Helenlouise3

Our son met his ex wife when he was 16. They were together for 26 years, but separated last year. He has 4 children, 3 with his wife and one with another lady. He's now met a lady half his age, who in fact is only 3 years older than his eldest child. They've just moved in together and I have to say I haven't seen him this happy for many years. She's a lovely lady/girl and we get on well with her. However I just can't get past the fact that he's twice her age. Can this possibly work?

My mother remarried many years after her divorce from my father.

The man she married was the same age as me (mid twenties at the time - my mother entering late 40s).

The marriage lasted for 17 years. My mother suffered ill-health as she aged, but her husband was very supportive and kind throughout. When they finally split up, it was because of incompatibility - as she recuperated she found new strengths and interests... basically she 'advanced' and he 'regressed'. In other words, he started to settle-down as he matured, and my mother found a new lease on life as she grew into old age.

No one can say if it will work for your son. It may well be an enduring relationship, who knows. Much will depend on how they 'grow' together as a couple, and individually. We often assume the younger partner will get 'bored' or tire of the older one but, as my mother's case seems to indicate - it can also work the other way round.

I wish them good luck anyway.

I think this is the forum where we all should appreciate that age is but a number. People are are all very different in the way they age and attitudes towards it.

aonk

A good friend of mine married a divorced man who was quite a lot older. He had teenage children and she found it hard to cope with them and her own small children at the same time. She is still young and active but he died some years ago and she was his carer for a long time before that.

Children and other family members can complicate any second relationship far more than any age difference. I would suggest if your relationship is right and works don’t worry about age difference, enjoy life today, tackle tomorrow when it arrives.

I suppose itlr the chemistry is right, it's very little to do with going places and doing things together.
With the right person, an evening at home can be fun, and you can both wear your pjs.

Imagine retiring at 67…with a 91 year old husband.

So, a 74 year old with bendy knees is ok?

dragonfly46

My 79 year old DH can still bend his knees! ?

So can mine, he was working in the garden this afternoon, kneeling and getting up many times.

A good friend of mine married a divorced man who was quite a lot older. He had teenage children and she found it hard to cope with them and her own small children at the same time. She is still young and active but he died some years ago and she was his carer for a long time before that.

When my son was 23, he got with a lady of 50. She was his boss, was living separately from her husband (albeit in the same house) and her children were then 21 and 19 (both left home). he left her husband, sold the house, moved in with us for 3 months (she was 2 years older than me) and she and my son bought a place together. They were together about 9 years, then the difference in age really showed. He left, and got his own house, she still lives in the one they were buying.

Perhaps 50 and 74 is doable, I’m not so sure about when the lady reaches retirement age when she is 67 and her 24 years older husband is 91. Fun retirement?

ShropshireMiss
You have a very distorted view of 74 yr olds.
Mine goes to the gym every day. Races his hot rod ( which he built) at SantaPod. Is still asked to help ( as crew) on sailing boats. And much more.

My 79 year old DH can still bend his knees! ?

I’ll be fifty this year and the thought of being married to a 74 year old who can’t bend his knees fills me with dread. It would be like being a carer for an elderly relative.

My first husband was a lot older than me and the main problem was that I changed quite a lot as I matured whereas he didn't as he was already quite mature when we married. We divorced after 14 years of marriage and I felt as if I'd been released back into the world. He's still going strong and I'm happily married to someone who is 6 years younger than I am. I think it can work but it often doesn't.

Firstly you cannot help who you fall in love with! As long as you get on well, have good conversation! Enjoy your life together! I think it can get more challenging when there are serious health problems and the younger one has to step in as a carer! But if you love them you take it in your stride, although I do know of a lady in our village that took off when her husband 18 years older became immobile saying she wasn’t ready to be anyones carer at her age! Really sad ! Took off with someone much nearer her age! Poor man left alone! Some it works for some it doesn’t.

Friends of mine have a 24 year age gap. He is now 74, with a number of serious health problems, including a knee he cannot bend at all. I think she is just beginning to realise how much the age difference is affecting her. She doesnt talk about it, or complain, but you can see how exhausted she is. Mind you, health can take a bad turn at any age.

Jane judge - he went off the rails at one point and he and his wife separated. This is when the other child was conceived. When they got back together, they had the 4th child. I should point out that he has a good relationship and pays/looks after all 4 children.

Wait and see.

Yes, the age difference isn't a problem - it's different views on life and hopes for the future that can be.

I was engaged to a wonderful man just ten years older than my eldest. We believed that love conquers all and were very happy together, focussed on our careers.

Still, it gradually dawned on me that he wanted a family - and a wife at home to take care of them. I'd done that already and wasn't about to start over again at 45!

JaneJudge

If he was 16 when he met his ex wife, who is the the other child with?

Personally, I don't have a problem with age gap relationships. I have friendships with people much younger and much older than me so I suppose it's only the same

Maybe he had a relationship after the marriage break up!