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FUNERAL FLOWERS

(93 Posts)
paddyanne Tue 19-Jan-21 21:54:18

I sent flowers for the funeral of a dear friend in Croatia ,I was assured they would arrive the day before the funeral last Friday .I just received a message from his son to tell me the flowers arrived this morning ,he sent his thanks and a photo of them.
I am absolutely appalled at what was delivered ,no better than some supermarket flowers and worse than most .Instead of lilies and roses and gyp ,,theres an abundance of white daisies and 3 pink roses stuck in the centre .I am so embarrassed that my friends think I sent these .I've e-mailed the company and sent a copy of what arrived but should I send a second more appropriate bouquet ? Obviously not from the same company as that was a total waste of £75 .I feel mortified its not a tribute more an insult .

Shinamae Tue 19-Jan-21 21:58:02

A couple of years ago my daughter sent me flowers for Mother’s Day from Moon pig, they were absolutely appalling and although I didn’t want to tell my daughter I did and insisted she tried to get a refund which she did. The thing is these companies think that people won’t complain and I didn’t want to for risk of upsetting my daughter but I’m glad I did

MawBe Tue 19-Jan-21 22:07:09

I do think it is the thought that counts and your friend’s son will have been touched by the gesture. He will understand these are difficult times I am sure.
However that does not excuse the company who should be offering compensation and/or replacement flowers.
If you are offered compensation it is up to you to decide whether flowers are what you want to send at this juncture or whether a charitable donation to a charity of their choice would be appropriate.
I had a similar (but different ) problem with flowers I ordered for D 2 when she lost her first baby - I could not get to her in London as I could not leave DH -and the flowers were not cheap, meant to be bright and cheerful to show hope for the future, but instead the company sent a miserable bunch of tulips like garage forecourt flowers certainly not worth the £45 I had paid and nearly a week late . . Yes they refunded the money, but the moment was gone and the gesture seemed empty.
How very sad for you - and condolences on losing your friend sad

M0nica Tue 19-Jan-21 22:11:52

When you are at the mercy of local florists in foreign countries, you are on a hiding to nothing.

I think all you can do is send a short email, saying, quite lightly, ^Not quite what I ordered, I was hoping for lilies roses and gypsophilla, but never mind it is the thought that counts and you know how much I cared and loved ........

Some of the flowers you ordered may not be available in Croatia this time of year or florists and cut flowers as readily available as in the UK.

NotSpaghetti Tue 19-Jan-21 22:30:40

I would complain to the company and if you get a refund donate it to a cause dear to your friend's heart.

paddyanne Tue 19-Jan-21 22:40:00

Thanks ,I'm really peed off because I tried three other companoes who said they couldn't deliver on time and this one said it wasn't a problem and now to see what they sent .My heart sank and I feel like shit.I send flowers to them two or three times a year and have never had this before .I'll see what the company says and go from there .I know its not the worst problem in the world but I'm crying buckets over it ....small things sometimes hit hardest

SueDonim Tue 19-Jan-21 22:43:02

Oh, that’s not on at all. sad The son sounds lovely, making contact with you in that way. I’d do as others suggest and explain the situation then, if you get a refund, offer to donate it to a charity of his/his mother’s choice.

It’s horrible when a good intention goes awry like that.

cornergran Tue 19-Jan-21 22:49:19

Of course you’re upset and yes, small things do hit hard especially now, but of course its not your fault paddyanne. Let the shock and upset settle before deciding what to do. I like the suggestion of an email to your friends son who sounds a kind person, I’m sure he’ll understand. My condolences for the loss of your friend, a sad time for you.

MawBe Tue 19-Jan-21 23:00:14

If I may Paddyanne I think you are crying over much more than the flowers - they are the trigger. You are mourning a good friend, you are trying to manage a dreadfully stressful and worrying situation, you would probably have liked to say your goodbyes in person and now you are having to cope with a caring gesture going "aglae" despite your best efforts
I hope I am not bring intrusive but I think you are having to cope with a lot of emotions at present. Be kind to yourself

Callistemon Tue 19-Jan-21 23:37:17

I can understand how upset you must feel and that was probably the trigger for more tears; I don't suppose you'd been able to see your friend for quite some time either.

It's very upsetting and has happened to us with funeral flowers, which are usually very expensive. Did you order through a firm which has branches here and links in Croatia?

I hope you get some recompense and perhaps you could ask her son if he would like a donation to charity instead.

I'm sorry for your loss.

CanadianGran Wed 20-Jan-21 05:21:26

I have had it happen to me as well. Not a funeral, which would be worse, but at Christmas time a few years ago. My SIL sent a photo to say thank you for the arrangement, but honestly, it was a few evergreen branches and fake berries. I had paid quite a bit, and was embarrassed. I think she would not normally have sent a photo, but it was her subtle way of letting me know I wasn't getting value, without actually telling me the 'flower arrangement' had no flowers at all!

I called the florist to let them know, and they offered me a discount on my next arrangement... as if I would ever use them again.

BlueBelle Wed 20-Jan-21 05:55:01

I feel for you on this because £75 is a hell of a lot of money and you wanted to show how much you cared and it didn’t send that message at all I can understand you crying over it

I sent my daughter ‘bloom and wild’ once and she sent me a photo and they were awful I could have done better to go and pick some Daisys and buttercups out the field I would never use them again Although they get rave reviews

I don’t think it would be appropriate or necessary to send another bouquet and yes I would make a very robust phone call to the company involved

Humbertbear Wed 20-Jan-21 09:23:41

We had the opposite experience years ago. I was in USA and sent my MiL in England flowers for her birthday, spending what I would have spent here. She received a vase on a plinth with a beautiful arrangement in it.

Bluesmum Wed 20-Jan-21 09:27:58

Complain, and loudly! They rely on people not reporting this kind of incident and that is very wrong. My son in Australia sent me flowers for my birthday in October and they were fabulous, lasted ages, I sent him photos and he thanked the company. Christmas he used the same company and I got just half a dozen stems of spray carnations, no gyp and no foliage, delivered two days AFTER Christmas and they were literally frozen solid, actually had ice particles on them! We complained and I got a replacement.

Quizzer Wed 20-Jan-21 09:30:30

One of my sons sent flowers from a very well-known High Street clothing and food store for Mother’s Day. The other sent some at half the cost from an online company.
The expensive High Street store flowers lasted just seven days. Whereas the other cheaper, but larger bouquet lasted almost 3 weeks. Don’t bank on a well known name being the best.

Grannygrumps1 Wed 20-Jan-21 09:31:32

I sent flowers to my sister for her birthday a few days after a family member had died. I used Interflora. Never again.
I asked for bright and cheerful. And they sent nothing but green foliage with a sprig of white all tied in black ribbon.
I was furious. They sent a replacement immediately. The biggest bouquet you have ever seen. With all colours. It was really worth complaining. But I would never ever use them again.

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 20-Jan-21 09:33:07

As others have said complain.

I have to say though that I Never go to a Company for flowers, I always find a good Florist local to the recipient, much nicer and we have never been disappointed.
In this case though it probably wouldn’t have been possible and I’m sure the family appreciated the thought.

PollyDolly Wed 20-Jan-21 09:34:44

Rather than fork out another £75 on flowers and risk it happening again why not transfer some money to your friends family in Croatia and ask them to place flowers on the grave for you, alternatively let them donate the money to a chosen charity?

Nanna58 Wed 20-Jan-21 09:34:56

I’m sorry Paddyanne , that must have been the last straw at a terrible time! My mother and I had a similar experience sending flowers abroad to my uncles funeral, and it makes you feel as if you have been unable to do properly the very last thing you do for someone. I’m sorry for your loss.

Aepgirl Wed 20-Jan-21 09:38:18

I have got so fed up with using 'flower' companies (e.g. Interflora) for sending flowers, particularly funerals, that I now search online for a local florist and order the flowers that way. I also make a point of saying 'I shall be at the funeral so will be pleased to be able to see the flowers'. This usually ensures that the flowers are good and worth the money paid.

When my father-in-law died I asked the funeral director for the name of a nearby florist. I gave this to those who were attending the funeral - the orders totalled over £500 - and the flowers were all delivered in one van. I was appalled when I discovered that the florist had charged extra for delivery on every order. When I complained, the florist sent me a cheque to pay into a charity of my choice - I divided it between those who had bought flowers.

lemsip Wed 20-Jan-21 09:41:46

forget your embarrassment about what your friend may think. They may not have even noticed what each person sent!
I had to send flowers to a funeral some miles away and chose online florist. Lovely picture and cost £82 I was worried what would arrive but relieved to here that they were as shown.

I would leave a review saying what you think on the site!

barbiann57 Wed 20-Jan-21 09:43:24

When my dear friend died I could not get to her funeral. I had a tree planted in her name at a woodland that she knew. This was through 'The Woodland trust' . I sent her family the certificate and details of location etc. of the tree.

Nanniejude Wed 20-Jan-21 09:45:05

This has happened twice to me recently, both companies refunded the money.
Send another small bouquet from a different company.

cc Wed 20-Jan-21 09:45:12

These people really do get away with dreadful products.
A kind friend sent me some flowers at Christmas, really droopy tulips with a crooked lumpy branch of some gold painted foliage that couldn't fit straight up in the vase and roses past their best. I thanked her and she asked me to send her a photo then returned a photo of what they should have been like: same type of flowers but twice as many of them and larger in her photo, and there were more individual pieces of usable "greenery" too. Almost £30 for what would have been two small bunches of supermarket flowers - though they would have been fresher from the supermarket!
If I'm sending flowers to people now I try to find a florist in their area and order direct from them, which has worked well.

Shropshirelass Wed 20-Jan-21 09:48:44

It is the thought that counts. My daughter sent me some flowers and I was pleased to receive them and sent her a photo with a thank you. Her reply was that they were not what she had ordered but the fact that she had sent them was what mattered to me.