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We need 6-8 pallbearers when we die

(97 Posts)
OnwardandUpward Tue 11-Jan-22 15:20:38

What if we had that support now? To have 6-8 people who are kind and positive lifting us up?

There is much unkindness and negativity in the world, so please post a positive thought for this New Year.

MerylStreep Tue 11-Jan-22 15:30:11

My positive thought ( and belief) is that there is more kindness and positivity in the world than the reverse.
I suppose it all depends on your circumstances ?

GrannyGravy13 Tue 11-Jan-22 16:10:07

I am with MerylStreep in my experience there is far more kindness and positivity than unkindness and negativity.

I guess it depends on what sort of folks you gravitate towards, as a family we are generally upbeat glass half full types, as are the majority of our friends.

MayBeMaw Tue 11-Jan-22 16:11:05

Social media is full of “positive thought” , uplifting memes, and other quotes and I am as guilty as the rest of thinking “Oh that’s a good one, let’s share it” but without action is is just empty words

GrannyGravy13 Tue 11-Jan-22 16:15:06

MayBeMaw

Social media is full of “positive thought” , uplifting memes, and other quotes and I am as guilty as the rest of thinking “Oh that’s a good one, let’s share it” but without action is is just *empty words*

A phone call, a meet-up for a coffee (and obligatory cake) or just a small plant speaks volumes, also listening to others and surprising them with an act of kindness.

I try to avoid memes

JaneJudge Tue 11-Jan-22 16:17:28

All the funerals I've been to recently they've brought even quite small people in on a trolley.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 11-Jan-22 16:24:30

Really Jane? I haven’t been to a funeral for many years thank goodness but had no idea they did that. Like what the Americans call a gurney??

lemongrove Tue 11-Jan-22 16:35:14

The way that I’ve been eating over the last two years I would need 10-20 pallbearers!?

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 11-Jan-22 16:35:51

You’re not alone Lemon!?

sodapop Tue 11-Jan-22 16:49:58

grin lemongrove

Tulpia Tue 11-Jan-22 17:05:49

There will be no pallbearers at my funeral beause there won't be a funeral. Once dead I'm happy for my body to be taken directly to the crematorium.

I think the cost of funerals are a rip off.

Germanshepherdsmum Tue 11-Jan-22 17:14:09

I think they might expect you to be encased in something and someone will have to carry/push you in! Or you could be barrowed down to the compost heap and tipped on but I think public health laws might prevent that.

BlueBelle Tue 11-Jan-22 17:18:17

I wouldn’t be able to find 6 or 8 pall bearers my kids are scattered around the world all my friends are around my age so I’ll have to go on a trolly if that’s what they do all the cremations I ve been to lately the casket has already been sitting there

LauraNorderr Tue 11-Jan-22 17:22:09

Onward and Upward, a good post. I feel that I’m one of the lucky ones that have many kind and positive ‘pallbearers’ in my life to lift me up and carry me through life.
I hope that I’m among the numbers that my family and friends would count on too.
There does some to be more unkindness and negativity around at the moment perhaps borne of fear and loneliness due to covid but there is far more kindness and positivity which outweighs the other.
Happy to be finally carted off on a trolley though. Wouldn’t want my legacy to be 6 - 8 bad backs.

Hetty58 Tue 11-Jan-22 17:25:01

Tulpia, direct cremation (pre-paid, all arranged) for me too. I just can't see the point of having a funeral when I'd much rather my family have the money.

Chewbacca Tue 11-Jan-22 17:25:08

My positive thought ( and belief) is that there is more kindness and positivity in the world than the reverse.

That's my experience too. I can't remember any time, before this pandemic, that people genuinely looked out for each other as they do now. Of course, there has been, and always will be, people who are selfish and think of no one but themselves but, in my experience, people in general seem to be more thoughtful of the fact that others may be struggling and are taking the time to pause and ask. There was a lovely thread on here just yesterday in which posters had noticed the absence of someone. That shows that care and concern is alive and well for most of us.

MayBeMaw Tue 11-Jan-22 17:26:25

GrannyGravy13

MayBeMaw

Social media is full of “positive thought” , uplifting memes, and other quotes and I am as guilty as the rest of thinking “Oh that’s a good one, let’s share it” but without action is is just *empty words*

A phone call, a meet-up for a coffee (and obligatory cake) or just a small plant speaks volumes, also listening to others and surprising them with an act of kindness.

I try to avoid memes

I think we are in agreement on that

MerylStreep Tue 11-Jan-22 17:29:08

Tulpia
My body will be donated where I pop off. They are needed ?

VioletSky Tue 11-Jan-22 17:40:33

I too think there is more kindness and positivity in the world, the bad deeds just stand out in comparison.

I went to collect my shopping recently and somehow forgot my reusable bags. A weeks shopping for 7, I didn't know what to do. A kind stranger dragged me over to the boot of his car, to happily get rid of some of his collection.

Such a small thing but it stuck with me, that all I said to my son was, oh no! I forgot the bags and someone heard and helped

glammanana Tue 11-Jan-22 17:53:52

MerylStreep

Tulpia
My body will be donated where I pop off. They are needed ?

My late husband donated his body quite a few years ago but the Teaching Hospital refused his request when the time came (late 2019) you cannot guarantee it will be accepted so have to have alternative arrangements in place in case of a refusal.

Smileless2012 Tue 11-Jan-22 17:58:52

I agree Chewbacca and when it comes to having positive people in my life who are kind, loving and supportive, quality is more important than quantity.

NotTooOld Tue 11-Jan-22 18:23:30

'My late husband donated his body quite a few years ago but the Teaching Hospital refused his request when the time came (late 2019) you cannot guarantee it will be accepted so have to have alternative arrangements in place in case of a refusal.'

Glammanana, I never realised that could happen. How awful for you.

Kamiso Tue 11-Jan-22 18:35:49

glammanana

MerylStreep

Tulpia
My body will be donated where I pop off. They are needed ?

My late husband donated his body quite a few years ago but the Teaching Hospital refused his request when the time came (late 2019) you cannot guarantee it will be accepted so have to have alternative arrangements in place in case of a refusal.

My MIL’s was turned down as well. Presumably they only need a certain number. At least the person concerned will never know so won’t be disappointed.

LtEve Tue 11-Jan-22 19:08:59

In parts of Japan your group of close friends is called a moai and is thought to be a reason for longevity.
www.bluezones.com/2018/08/moai-this-tradition-is-why-okinawan-people-live-longer-better/

With regard to pallbearers, we went to a funeral just before Christmas and the pallbearers were the undertakers, very smart and not too many worries about them dropping the coffin which always concerns me with inexperienced pallbearers.

MerylStreep Tue 11-Jan-22 19:16:22

Glammanana
I have read all the paper work and am very aware that that is a possibility. The next option would be to be fed to the fish ?