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An Oxford Comma.......

(36 Posts)
Granny23 Tue 27-Oct-20 23:54:20

An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

crazyH Wed 28-Oct-20 00:22:03

Very interesting grammar lesson....I will look at it again in the morning. Thanks

GrandmasueUK Wed 28-Oct-20 00:52:00

I love this. It’s just up my street, thank you. grin

V3ra Wed 28-Oct-20 06:54:08

Fascinating!

FannyCornforth Wed 28-Oct-20 07:29:45

Brilliant! Love it!smile

Kate54 Wed 28-Oct-20 07:34:30

Brilliant! Might borrow some of it for my adult learners if OP doesn’t mind.

Pantglas2 Wed 28-Oct-20 07:36:31

Love this Granny23!

sodapop Wed 28-Oct-20 07:40:40

Love it Granny23 illustrates the points brilliantly.

Riverwalk Wed 28-Oct-20 07:41:19

Very clever.

"Get out -- we don't serve your type." grin

GrannyLaine Wed 28-Oct-20 08:26:52

Love this! But I confess that I will have to look up some of them......

granfromafar Wed 28-Oct-20 08:30:59

Brilliant! My favourite is 'A dyslexic walks into a bra'

Oopsadaisy4 Wed 28-Oct-20 08:32:04

Very good, off to ask Dr Google about some of them.

Quick question, my secondary education ended in 1966, but I have never heard of some of these, was it the Education System that just didn’t teach us these at the time?
Or is this University level stuff?
Or just new fangled post 1970s Grammar?

FannyCornforth Wed 28-Oct-20 08:43:06

Oopsadaisy don't worry!
I'm an English teacher with an MA in English literature, and I've not heard of a few!blush

Oopsadaisy4 Wed 28-Oct-20 08:46:53

Fanny thank goodness I’m not the only one!

Thankfully I know enough to get me by.

FannyCornforth Wed 28-Oct-20 08:52:40

Not heard of chiasmus, intransitive verb, and gerund (but I do know an Oxford comma wink).
Strangely though, my predictive text does seem to have heard of them!

Teetime Wed 28-Oct-20 09:06:32

Very clever and helpful I think.

Alexa Wed 28-Oct-20 09:32:36

I like the Oxford commas because it helps to make the meaning clear. English has a lot or redundancies and that is one of its strengths.

trisher Wed 28-Oct-20 09:35:42

I hadn't heard of chiasmus either
I did think
A split infinitive walks into a bar and starts to quickly drink gin.

Elegran Wed 28-Oct-20 09:38:48

The only one I hadn't heard of was chiasmus. My grammar education was ten years before Oopsadaisy's- the decline wasstill to come, in the early sixties, when there was a great push for encouraging pupils to "express themselves", as in other fields of life in the sixties. This was taken up so enthusiastically that the "straitjacket" of knowing how to construct a sentence so that it worked was completely abandoned by many idealistic young teachers. The results are still with us!

Daddima Wed 28-Oct-20 09:42:57

Splendid! I love an Oxford comma,me.

JackyB Wed 28-Oct-20 09:47:18

It certainly made me chuckle. I loved the noun declinin!

JackyB Wed 28-Oct-20 09:47:26

g

lemongrove Wed 28-Oct-20 09:47:56

Thanks for posting that Granny23 it’s very funny and clever
😄I particularly liked A man with a glass eye called Ralph.

lemongrove Wed 28-Oct-20 09:50:06

I’m literally dying with laughter😁

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 28-Oct-20 10:00:53

Thanks, I love it - humour is a great way to learn new things.