Diary of a benefit claimant.

I entirely agree growstuff. Totally irrelevant. If SD wants to single out and dwell on particular words and find unintended meanings which make him feel uncomfortable that’s up to him, but I would rather he didn’t inflict such irrelevancies on MissA.

Germanshepherdsmum

Please don’t be so negative SD. I have said before that we are trying to support MissA, not unnecessarily depress her further.

The fact of the matter is that MissAdventure is going to go to a meeting and the result of that meeting will affect how the system treats her in the future and what money the system will pay her in the future.

So I like to think that what I and some others are writing about answering questions at the meeting and writing about preparing for the meeting are helpful to MissAdventure.

The happy at this moment alternative of saying nothing would not, in my opinion, be helpful in the long term.

It is analogous to teaching people kerb drill for crossing the road - it might frighten people to think of the possibility of being run over, but that is far better than the people actually being run over.

I realise that you don't like my style of trying to help, but frankly that is not my concern. If MissAdventure were to say that she does not like my style of trying to help, then I would act on her wishes, as it is MissAdventure whom I am trying to help.

Germanshepherdsmum

I entirely agree growstuff. Totally irrelevant. If SD wants to single out and dwell on particular words and find unintended meanings which make him feel uncomfortable that’s up to him, but I would rather he didn’t inflict such irrelevancies on MissA.

Wow. Now that style would come under "Autocratic" if you should attempt to learn about behaviour.

StarDreamer is trying to help in their way. That doesn't automatically mean it is wrong because it's not yours. Perhaps she knows more about the systems used for these interviews.

Actually, I am male.

I do feel that Private Messaging provides a discreet way of discussing personal issues at times.
Are you accepting these again now, StarDreamer?

Sorry, StarDreamer. I was trying to keep it neutral because I didn't know. I didn't succeed, sadly.

DaisyAnne

Germanshepherdsmum

I entirely agree growstuff. Totally irrelevant. If SD wants to single out and dwell on particular words and find unintended meanings which make him feel uncomfortable that’s up to him, but I would rather he didn’t inflict such irrelevancies on MissA.

Wow. Now that style would come under "Autocratic" if you should attempt to learn about behaviour.

StarDreamer is trying to help in their way. That doesn't automatically mean it is wrong because it's not yours. Perhaps she knows more about the systems used for these interviews.

Of course language is important and "fail" isn't a word anybody who is trying to be positive would use. However, MissAdventure's next step is getting through the WCA meeting, which isn't about any interviews she's attended. It's an assessment of her ability to work in the future. She needs to think clearly and study the assessment descriptors careful and decide in advance which ones suit her and stick to them. They're possibly not fair and I expect people have all sorts of opinions about how they fit with personal circumstances, but that's the system and there's no point moaning about or disputing it.

Ooh, I appreciate every bit of help.
I skim read and cherry pick from the replies and advice, then go back and look at them in more detail.

You would think it would be pretty easy to answer truthfully any questions asked in these assessments, and I would have thought I was more than capable, but it is proving to be more difficult than you would imagine.

I don't know about those meetings as such as I have been retired since before their introduction.

However, for a number of years I was out of work as a result of redundancy due to government cuts to higher education funding in the 1990s and in those years I needed to sign on and I experienced the system as it then was. Some staff very helpful, some downright nasty and unreasonable. My skills were quite specialist and I like to think I was good at it, but those skills were largely not applicable outside higher education, and my age went against me too.

Answer the questions as you feel on your very worst day.
Don't be friendly but be polite - these people are assessors, not your friends concerned for your welfare.
If it's a better day, remember how you feel on a bad day.
Don't wear makeup as you might for a job interview (I don't know if you do or not).
Look out for trick questions, be wary.

I can only think of practical ideas.

DaisyAnne

Sorry, StarDreamer. I was trying to keep it neutral because I didn't know. I didn't succeed, sadly.

No need to apologise. I just wanted to say before someone else posted to say!

In fact, MissAdventure and many others have known for a long time that I am male.

I've nothing left to wear make up on.
My eyelashes have gone, (along with some teeth) my eyes are red (and yellow) and I have a rash all over my face, anyway.

Oh, and the inner part of my lips seep blood most of the time, too.

I suppose I could work as a zombie.

> I suppose I could work as a zombie.

Saying that in this thread, fine.

But please, resist any temptation to say it there!

MissA. It’s been tough for you for so long, you must be fair worn out. Sending a gentle hug x

StarDreamer

> I suppose I could work as a zombie.

Saying that in this thread, fine.

But please, resist any temptation to say it there!

I thought that as soon as I'd written it!
This is my trouble - downplaying things, acting the fool.
I really must stop that!

ixion

I do feel that Private Messaging provides a discreet way of discussing personal issues at times.
Are you accepting these again now, StarDreamer?

I switched off private messaging when I registered.

This is because the system allows someone to write to me then later delete what they have written.

So, as some people here have been nasty to me in public, I am not going to give them any opportunity to send a private message to me then later delete it.

Thank you, silverlining

So, as some people here have been nasty to me in public, I am not going to give them any opportunity to send a private message to me then later delete it

You could always screenshot it and put it on file.

StarDreamer

ixion

I do feel that Private Messaging provides a discreet way of discussing personal issues at times.
Are you accepting these again now, StarDreamer?

I switched off private messaging when I registered.

This is because the system allows someone to write to me then later delete what they have written.

So, as some people here have been nasty to me in public, I am not going to give them any opportunity to send a private message to me then later delete it.

What makes you think anybody would send offensive PMs?
You can always block the sender but the PM facility does make it possible, as Ixion says, to communicate more discreetly and without the rest of the site plus possibly “outsiders” being privy to your communication.

MissAdventure

StarDreamer

> I suppose I could work as a zombie.

Saying that in this thread, fine.

But please, resist any temptation to say it there!

I thought that as soon as I'd written it!
This is my trouble - downplaying things, acting the fool.
I really must stop that!

You're doing brilliantly MissA. I'm not sure my sense of humour would have lasted as well. At least you know we are all rooting for you.

All your posts have helped me prepare for my PIP assessment. I am a chatterbox. But reading your posts I now know to just answer the questions and only give more detail if asked. And only talk out my worse days and not say the things I can do on my good days. Like many people I down play what my limitations are as it frustrates the hell out of me when I can't do simple tasks because my body wouldn't let me . I berate myself that I can't do it.

Perfect eg the other day I couldn't use a pair of scissors to cut a plastic bag open. Just because my stupid hand was having spasms. Had to wait until it stopped. I know I should be patient but if I want to do something I want to do it now not in 10 mins.?.

I know I should be patient as had problems with my limbs all my life. But the last 34 years have been the worst. I am my own worse enemy.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom.

Whiff, for PIP, it is how you are the majority of the time, so typically four or more days a week, or more than two weeks in a month, not just your worst days. But you are right to focus on giving some examples of your difficulties.
Have you had a look at the descriptors, so you can think about your answers in advance?

Cabbie thank you I will follow your advice. I know I can't down play my inability to do everyday things . But I have had 34 years of not knowing what was wrong with me. And only found out in April I was born with it and it's rare. Finally I have a name for it.

It's taken time for that to sink in . And realise I should now be able to get financial help. Having years of being told no name sorry we can't go further with your claim. And years ago trying to claim in those days DLA and having to go too a tribunal with my late husband and 6 people sitting in judgement of me takes its toll.

Also being shouted at by a nurse it's only post natal depression and pull myself together in 1988 as my son was 8 months old and our daughter 4 and I was in hospital for 3 weeks and not allowed to see the children for 5 mins. It effects you.

Even saw a psychiatrist as my GP said it would clear me of any mental illness. Which it did as my condition is physical. Used to joke with my husband at least I am past as sane. We always knew it was my body that was the problem .

It's horrible to think that in this day and age physical and mental illness is still discriminated against. But their are still and always will be people who think they are perfect and have the it will never happen to me attitude .

But no one knows what will happen in their lives or to those of their loved ones .

2 updates today.
One which is huge!

I had the work capability assessment yesterday, which lasted around ten minutes.

The assessor (a nurse) told me that for the purpose of the assessment she felt that the liver problems would be enough.
She didn't ask that I do any of the things which are listed, such as raising my arms, or picking up a pound coin, etc.

She said that she was going to make it all as short as possible so that I could get home and rest.
She questioned whether i am having to attend the job centre, and said if so, she would be phoning them to advocate on my behalf.
So, I am hopeful, but a bit astounded that she hasn't seen any paperwork (I sent it with the pip claim, but still have some myself)

I felt hopeful when I left, but now a bit concerned that she had no proof, and worried about what my gp may say if he is contacted.

The HUGE update is that I recieved a text yesterday, to say that I have been awarded PIP!!!!

I will need to wait a further few weeks to find out what rate I have recieved, and I can ask them to reconsider if I feel I have been 'diddled', but I won't be doing that.

If it was one pence a week I'd accept it, just to prove that I really am not well. (although, of course, a liveable amount of money would be nice - being ill is expensive)

I came home, went to bed fully dressed, as I was exhausted.

I should feel wonderful, but it has all taken it's toll, in more ways than I am able to share on a public forum.