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Dog and wedding

(335 Posts)
kiki2 Wed 20-Nov-19 12:43:39

My son is getting married next year and has just told me that his future wife will not have our dog anywhere near her ´ on the day
We are dog-lovers and so is my son but she isn’t
I am quite upset about this as we have nobody who could look after our dog and the wedding won’t be local so it won’t be a question of just leaving at home
We don’t want to put him in kennels either , obviously I know that he can’t come to the reception but all I was hoping for was that he could be in a couple of photos , he is in my opinion a member of the family .
So , am I being silly for thinking this ; can I just go ahead anyway and bring him out for the odd photo ?
Obviously , whoever holds him would make sure he doesn’t jump up the bride in her beautiful dress.
What do you think ? What would you do ?
I don’t want a row with my son or future Dil but don’t want to leave my dog behind .
The whole thing feels mean anyway
Would welcome advice , thank you

SirChenjin Wed 20-Nov-19 12:46:06

Do not - under any circumstance - bring your dog to their wedding, unless you want to start a family feud that could last for years.

Why don't you want to put him in kennels? What about dog sitters if kennels are absolutely not an option?

jura2 Wed 20-Nov-19 12:48:51

Sorry, but it is THEIR wedding - and THEIR choice. Find someone to come and dog sit- or put the dog in kennels- no other option if you want your son to have a happy day- and your family to have a happy future.

dizzyblonde Wed 20-Nov-19 12:49:25

I have two dogs whom I adore and they are part of the family but there is no way I would ever contemplate even asking if I could take them to a wedding. It seems a very odd thing to do and I’ve never seen it happen at any of the multiple weddings I’ve been to.
Can’t you get a dog sitter who your dog could get used to before the wedding. I’ve always put all my dogs into carefully vetted kennels but if you’re not happy to do that there are generally local dog sitters.

Baggs Wed 20-Nov-19 12:59:20

What is it with some dog owners?

If you don't want to put the dog in kennels, don't go to the wedding.

If you take it along to the wedding when you've been specifically asked not to (a reasonable request), you are being an idiot. People don't have to like your dog, or any dog. You need to accept this and not be the inlaw from hell right from the start. Your dog has NOT been invited to the wedding so it can't go.

Poor dog to have a wedding gate-crasher for an owner.

Calendargirl Wed 20-Nov-19 13:03:39

So where would the dog be while you are all at the reception? Sat for hours in the car?
Cannot understand why people want photos of dogs at weddings, bad enough when they belong to the happy couple, even more ridiculous when they don’t.
If you take the dog to the wedding, I would imagine it would be the start of the end of your relationship with new DIL.
Don’t do it.

MawB Wed 20-Nov-19 13:06:20

Who matters more in this scenario? Your son and future daughter in law? Your dog?
OK the answer may be your dog but be realistic.
Book a dog sitter or put him in kennels - dogs are perfectly contented there, like children and nursery or school. Leaving him in the car is much more cruel regardless of the weather.
End of
Out of interest if you were hospitalised who would look after the dog? I assume he goes on holiday with you, but have you never contemplated going anywhere which is not necessarily ideal for a dog?
This is totally silly and I suspect a wind-up.

You. Don’t. Take. Dogs. To. Weddings.

FlexibleFriend Wed 20-Nov-19 13:08:05

I'm a dog lover and have dogs myself but wouldn't dream of having them at a wedding, be it mine or someone else's. Are you staying close to the wedding venue, if so find a kennel or dog sitter close by so that he/she is away from you for the least time. You've been told the dog isn't welcome so accept it and make alternative arrangements.

gallusquine Wed 20-Nov-19 13:10:30

You must know that you can't " just go ahead anyway and bring him out for the odd photograph " shock

kiki2 Wed 20-Nov-19 13:12:54

There is no need to be agressive or insulting ! The other people who have replied have managed to be civil so why can’t you
I d rather be an idiot dog lover than someone who responds aggressively like you !

SueDonim Wed 20-Nov-19 13:15:03

It's very tempting to answer directly your question about whether you are being silly...

A dog is a dog. Why would a dog even want to go to a wedding? Loads of strangers, some shrieking in horror, others, esp little people, hauling and pulling him around. Possibly unsuitable food, loud music. You'd also be on edge, whether he'll provoke an allergic reaction in a guest, bite someone (I'm sure you'll say he doesn't bite but no dog is a biter until the first time it bites) or someone feeds him chocolate, there'll be poop bags and food dishes to deal with.

Get a pet sitter to look after your dog and go and enjoy the wedding, knowing you're putting your son and his new wife first.

Baggs Wed 20-Nov-19 13:17:32

Well I do think it would be idiocy.

I like dogs and, according to the dog owners I know, dogs like me. That's not what's at issue though.

Baggs Wed 20-Nov-19 13:19:00

I think other posters think it would be idiocy as well, only they're not as blunt about it.

Baggs Wed 20-Nov-19 13:20:04

Actually, I think you know it would be idiocy too or you wouldn't have asked what people think.

Baggs Wed 20-Nov-19 13:22:12

That couples get to say who (or what) comes to their wedding and who (or what) doesn't is practically the first law of the universe.

Chestnut Wed 20-Nov-19 13:27:05

I'm not keen on dogs and would have been horrified if my MIL had brought a dog to my wedding so I can only say....don't do it! I've never seen a dog at a wedding and I've been to quite a few. Weddings are for people.

MawB Wed 20-Nov-19 13:27:10

“Idiocy” is one word for it, another (pun intended) might be “barking”.

grannylyn65 Wed 20-Nov-19 13:28:48

Ok you’ve made your point

mrsgreenfingers56 Wed 20-Nov-19 13:31:27

Never heard of a dog being at a wedding before! Sorry but just seems a crazy idea, but as someone says "What is it about dog owners?" Most definitely in a breed of their own! Barking mad or what?

sodapop Wed 20-Nov-19 13:36:45

Absolutely you should leave your dog with a sitter or not go to the wedding. I have three much loved dogs and would not consider taking any of them to a wedding. It's the couple's day kiki2 their choice.
If you persist with this you run the risk of alienating your son and daughter in law and for what ? I'm sure your dog will be happier away from all the hassle of a wedding and you can always bring him back a few treats.

MawB Wed 20-Nov-19 13:37:35

Was that addressed to me grannylyn ? A bit waspish wasn’t it? 🐝

sodapop Wed 20-Nov-19 13:40:15

We are not all barking mad mrsgreenfingers56 most of us really care about our pets and are considerate of others. We also tend not to make sweeping generalisations.

kiki2 Wed 20-Nov-19 13:41:52

Thank you soda pop , it s replies like yours which I like ; you are advising me nicely and I am more likely to listen to you than some other people who have posted
I would also like to say that some people haven’t read my initial post properly , I never said he should come to the reception as one of you seemed to think
Anyway have got the gist now so thank you all for your replies , kind or not !

MawB Wed 20-Nov-19 13:44:46

Sorry if you found the replies too direct kiki but if not to the reception, where was the dog to go, the church?
Your son and DIL are not being “mean” just reasonable.

MawB Wed 20-Nov-19 13:48:51

PS I care about my dog and would not want to stress her by taking her to a social gathering.
That said DD and SIL managed to sneak their dog into their wedding by assuring the registrar that he was a therapy dog and I needed him to keep me calm. (The cheek)
She (registrar) winked and all passed off smoothly.
But it was their dog and their wedding.