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Returning puppy to breeder Has anyone does this?

(84 Posts)
MollyAA12 Thu 18-Mar-21 15:10:39

We sent back a puppy this week to the breeder after six weeks. We had found the whole experience shattering and the breeder said she would let it go to a lady who already had a cockapoo and wanted another. I ended up stressed and quite ill.
We are both gutted as if she had died. I lost myold spaniel on 4 April last year which was awful and I feel the same again.
I have had three spaniels in the past and they were lovely. Cockapoos are full of octane fuel and will eat and chew anything evenm when they are grown. I have spoken to other owners and they all say they are hard work. We are not young and I feel this contributed to the sheer exhaustion of it all.
Anyone done the same?

JaneJudge Thu 18-Mar-21 15:13:43

A good breeder will home and take back a puppy and rehome appropriately as your breeder has done, I don't think you need to beat yourself up about it. It should still be young enough to train/socialise by another family.

kwest Thu 18-Mar-21 15:31:31

We adopted a cocker spaniel who had been badly treated. We already had a beagle and an Irish red and white setter. We have loved all of our dogs very deeply but this little guy was really special. We changed his name to one with two syllables, as his original name was just one and we didn't ever want him to connect his being called with being punished. He had lived locally. He was adorable and very gentle, except when he spotted the postman's bike parked anywhere when he was on his walk. For some reason he felt the need to be furious with it. Thankfully the postman was never near it at the time. He never chewed anything, unlike our setter who loved chewing things. He too was gentle and 'mothered' the spaniel who used to lay between the setter's front paws to be thoroughly licked all over his face and head. The beagle was the 'pack leader' and generally ignored the other two apart from occasionally barking at the spaniel to show him who was in charge.

Whitewavemark2 Thu 18-Mar-21 15:55:15

Talking to our vet and she was saying that these “cross breeds” definitely have their issues and behaviour is one of them.

Whereas dogs were bred for utility and behaviour, like terriers and retrievers, gun dogs and lap dogs. You knew what you were getting.

With the recent crosses done simply for the look of the dog and it’s cuteness value, they have simply overlooked or through ignorance forgotten about behaviour. It has thrown up some real issues.

Gannygangan Thu 18-Mar-21 16:00:32

I think all puppies can be hard work. We have had many dogs over the years. They do tend to grow out of their manic behaviour by the time they get to 2.

You certainly did the right thing.

My parents had greyhounds as they were getting older. My parents that is. They used a rescue so the dogs were about 4 when they got them. We've had them as well. Lovely dogs.

The most glorious breed for older people

They just want to sit by the fire and watch TV

They don't need much exercise at all either, which is great when you're getting older.

BlueBelle Thu 18-Mar-21 16:01:58

But in our day many or most of us owned cross breeds or as the term was then mongrels ( the best dogs in my eyes)
So maybe it s the crossing of specific breeds that causes the problems, breeding in personality defects whitewave
Perhaps if you’re not so young and energetic molly it’s not wise to have a puppy because puppies are VERY hard work whatever breed they are
Why don’t you consider an older recuse dog

JaneJudge Thu 18-Mar-21 16:03:11

poodles are incredibly intelligent, as are spaniels - so I suppose the combination of the two will be hard work.

NellG Thu 18-Mar-21 16:14:14

Molly We had to let a dog go to another home once and I was, and still am heartbroken. She was a dear little soul in many ways but I literally couldn't be out of her sight otherwise she would chew everything and herself to pieces. My children were young then and not capable of being consistent with her and my husband just couldn't cope. She tended to mess in the house and just couldn't grasp toilet training despite my bed efforts of standing outside with her (once, out of sheer determination for four hours!) In the end we made the decision to see if she could be re-homed with an older, child free couple who had time and patience with her. I can still cry when I think of her, and loved her to bits but had to do what was best for everyone. She was re-homed very quickly and as far as I'm aware had a happy and loving home. So, I do know how devastating it is to have no choice but to part with them for their sake as well as your own. Sending a hug and my best wishes that you'll find the right dog for you soon. flowers

grannysyb Thu 18-Mar-21 16:20:34

If we had another dog it would be a rescue, as the last two were. Having a puppy is really hard work training is on going for about 18 months, you think you've cracked it and then they turn into teenagers with selective deafness! I'm glad you gave it back to the breeder, someone else will be very happy.

Lyndylou Thu 18-Mar-21 16:36:15

We have a 5 year old cockapoo and we had a short lived chewing issue when he was a small puppy. Since about 6 months old he has never chewed anything and he doesn't fuss for food. He eats once a day and sometimes will go 2 days without food despite having plenty in his bowl and biscuits available for him. He has never tried to pinch food and they only food he ever begs for food is he likes the occassional toast crusts with butter.

OH and I (69 & 72) find we can manage his exercise without a problem, added in with some mad fast circuits around the garden with his ears flapping up and down (dog not OH). He has stayed exactly the same weight for 4 years so I think he is getting enough exercise.

The nicest thing is that he and the cat are the best of friends until it comes to the favourite seat next to OH.

Whitewavemark2 Thu 18-Mar-21 16:41:41


But in our day many or most of us owned cross breeds or as the term was then mongrels ( the best dogs in my eyes)
So maybe it s the crossing of specific breeds that causes the problems, breeding in personality defects whitewave
Perhaps if you’re not so young and energetic molly it’s not wise to have a puppy because puppies are VERY hard work whatever breed they are
Why don’t you consider an older recuse dog

Yes that’s right. The traditional crossbreed where dogs have done their own thing -as it were- is also a element of chance as well, but the vet thought the designer dogs were throwing up challenges not thought about.

I asked if these new crossbreed helped breed out any genetic issues, and interestingly the vet said not necessarily.

Dinahmo Thu 18-Mar-21 16:42:23

I would recommend watching Graham Hall and Dogs Behaving Badly. This week's episode was about puppies and biting and chewing. Sad to say the problems were invariably the result of the owners' mishandling and not understanding the teething problem that puppies have.

JaneJudge Thu 18-Mar-21 16:46:58

Oh I love dogs behaving badly. My husband says he has a script though and when he walks into the house and rubs his hands, my husband says he he is imagining another tailor made waistcoat he will be able to buy grin

JaneJudge Thu 18-Mar-21 16:48:57

I am a very experience rescue collie owner btw and my current dog had issues with herding us in by the back door. I was just ignoring it so she went through the routine every time but I just thought it was something she wouldn't stop doing. He did that stop, good girl trick with a border collie and i thought I'd try it. It took about 3 days and she doesn't do it any more (and she is incredibly bossy!)

BlueBelle Thu 18-Mar-21 16:49:30

I think most puppies if not all, whatever breed have chewing, nipping problems just like babies with teething rings
Don’t get a puppy if you’re not young enough to be energetic and can give a couple of years to training
If I was thinking of a little dog I wouldn’t want a breed and would get one about 4 years old

JaneJudge Thu 18-Mar-21 16:49:40

Did you see the pug episode Dinahmo? I still giggle about that poor bloke blush

PamelaJ1 Thu 18-Mar-21 17:09:23

Molly I think you made a wise decision, you must feel dreadful at the moment. I think that when we lose an old dog we forget that puppies are very hard work and some of them more than others.
It sounds as though Your puppy has already got another loving home so don’t worry about him.

Ellianne Thu 18-Mar-21 17:22:39

Aw, what a heart wrenching decision for you Molly but probably for the best all round.
I'm not making light of your sadness, but in response to your question ..... yes, we once took a puppy back to the breeder. All the family were convinced we had collected the wrong one because after a few weeks Lillie looked like she was a Billie. We cried all the way there (long drive), only to be told by the breeder that female puppy private parts can be swollen and look like a male dog's bits. Oh dear, what an embarrassment!

Grandmafrench Thu 18-Mar-21 17:38:44

Molly, you did the right thing. Knowing your limitations is really important when you take on the responsibility of a young pup.

I have two good friends who have endless experience running two separate Dog Rescues in France. They are always anxious to home a dog, of course, but say it's desperately important to consider where the dog is going, how the 'match' might work, etc., and so they stress every time that they never allow an older couple to take on a puppy. I am repeating what they have always told me, so forgive me if that sounds impertinent since I don't know you or your level of fitness or commitment. However, it can be such hard work when most older people want to offer a home and to have the pleasure and companionship of a dog who is not destructive, not crazy, not demanding, not difficult, not really a worry, or a work in progress.

So, why not think about taking on an older dog, something that will repay you over and over with love and affection for a loving and secure home. It wouldn't be difficult, I should think, to find an older Spaniel if that's what you want.

Don't feel any sadness or regret that you had to hand back your pup. It was the honest and best thing to do and it will settle very quickly with a new owner.

In the meantime, think about an older dog where you not only offer a new life to a deserving older dog who has perhaps lost its owner or suddenly become surplus to requirements, but you then create a vacancy in a rescue centre for another dog to be taken in. Saving two lives instead of one. You also pay far less for an older rescue (or you do in France) and often have Vets bills paid for life and will have loads of time and energy left over for some fun walks with your new dog rather than spending 24 hours a day with your heads on spin, worrying about what a puppy is getting up to all of the time. Don't be sad. Good luck, be positive! 🐶

Dinahmo Thu 18-Mar-21 18:17:24

JaneJudge Yes I did. I sometimes watch the episodes again on a different channel.

My new addition is settling down very well. My existing dog gets on OK with him. Too soon for them to be best buddies.
I've mentioned elsewhere that he's blind but that doesn't phase him. He finds his way around the house and garden without bumping into things. He has one bad habit - if he can get into a bathroom he'll take a flannel or a cleaning cloth out into the garden and hide it. He also does it with socks and toys. These things get moved around at intervals. Goodness knows how he manages to find them again. He is a lovely dog to have around.

JaneJudge Thu 18-Mar-21 18:23:50

aww dinahmo, that is sweet smile one of my neighbours dogs is blind too x

Katie59 Thu 18-Mar-21 19:57:31

After having spaniels you should have had no problem, my daughter has one, after a year she still can’t let it off the lead, at least it’s not destructive.
Personally I like bitches - speyed
Individual dogs do vary, dont take it personally. If you have another, choose the smallest in the litter she will probably be the quietist and easier to live with, different bloodlines have varying temperaments, you just chose the wrong line for you.

Callistemon Thu 18-Mar-21 20:15:26


poodles are incredibly intelligent, as are spaniels - so I suppose the combination of the two will be hard work.

JaneJudge yes, well said.

I think cockapoos need owners who have time, energy, patience and who don't allow them to take charge. They can be quite challenging.
DS and family have one and he is adorable but requires a lot of exercise, company and discipline, which he is getting.
They may not be the best breed for older people.

You have done the right thing as you could have all ended up unhappy. The breeder will find a suitable home for him.

Chardy Thu 18-Mar-21 21:52:22

Any good breeder will want their pup to be happy, so of course they'll take a puppy back if it doesn't work out.

Spidergran3 Fri 19-Mar-21 15:13:32

Ah Molly, don’t beat yourself up about this, you absolutely did the right thing. Imagine if you had kept it how unhappy you, and the dog would have been. It would have picked up on your stress and probably developed behavioural issues. It’s still very young and will be fine with another family. When we loose our dogs they leave such a big hole in our lives. I vowed we wouldn’t have another dog when our old Labrador died but here we are the devoted slaves to a Lakeland Terrier. Words can’t express how much she enriches our lives, especially over the past year! I hope you find a lovely dog soon. 💐