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Grieving for our beautiful dog

(54 Posts)
lippyqueen Mon 26-Sep-22 10:57:23

Hello everyone, my DH and I lost our dog on 16th July. He was a good age for a big dog aged nearly 13 and he was a rescue dog German Shepherd cross Rottweiler. The most beautiful dog who was the centre of our lives. We are absolutely devastated and trying very hard to come to terms with the emptiness in the house etc. We had him “put to sleep” as he had some illness that came on very suddenly. The vet advised us of our options with regard to extensive tests etc to find out but at the end of the day we did not want to put him through that as even if we found out he had cancer or some other disease it may not have been treatable.. He came everywhere with us and was the most well behaved dog we ever had.
We bumped into a very insensitive neighbour at the weekend who has just returned from holiday and said “oh I expected to see you with a new puppy”. It really upset me that we could just replace Rosco just like that. She is a dog owner too! We cannot even think of another dog yet now, if ever. I thought some of you might be able to relate to these feelings and offer advice to help. Will we ever get used to the emptiness?

Aveline Mon 26-Sep-22 11:08:30

What a horrible sad time for you. Our animals are family members and are irreplaceable. Rosco sounds like a very good boy indeed. You obviously have wonderful happy memories of him.
I truly don't mean to sound like your neighbour. I understand he's irreplaceable. Will there be a time in the future when you'd feel able to start another adventure with another dog? Not a Rosco but a dog in its own right with its own personality?
I do know the horrible feeling. I found our lovely cat dead at his food bowl last summer. It was awful. The shock as well as the grief. Three months later we rehomed two adult cats that were not wanted any more. Well now they're a vital part of our lives and love us right back as much as we love them. I couldn't have imagined that this time last year.

Jan16 Mon 26-Sep-22 11:08:40

We too have been where you are now. It is absolutely devastating and I found the days seemed so empty and I had so much time with nothing to fill it. Our dog was walked twice a day and we met the same dog walkers each morning for a chat while the dogs played and sniffed! Suddenly there are empty spots in your day and the people you met while walking are suddenly not part of that day or indeed your life.
We decided not to get another dog as we are getting older and not as fit as would like! Also without doubt another dog would outlive us although I know my daughter would have looked after it.
Previously we have got another puppy soon after we lost an older dog but it’s up to people to decide for themselves. A new puppy is a joy but very hard work - believe me you forget how lively and demanding they are! The sadness will pass but it will take time. Good luck with whatever you decide

Maya1 Mon 26-Sep-22 11:16:31

I'm so sorry lippyqueen that you and your dh have had to say goodbye to your Rosco. Of course you cannot replace him. He sounds as if he was a wonderful boy. Take comfort in the knowledge you gave him love to the very end.
It must feel so empty without him, take time to grieve. We lost our previous border collie very suddenly, he was run over. We didn't think we would cope but after 15 months we got our present old boy. So yes l think you will eventually be able to manage your grief as we were.
You will always have your wonderful memories of your precious boy.

Juliet27 Mon 26-Sep-22 11:19:37

You have my sympathy - I know how losing a dog is heartbreaking. They become a family member so quickly and we feel so empty when they’re gone. I’ve gone through the sadness several times. With the last loss I waited about six months before considering getting the next dog. I wanted to try to get over the feeling that I’d be betraying Teddy and I felt I’d never be able to give as much love to a new one, but I so needed a dog in my life. It’s difficult not to compare at first but they all have their own ways and we learn to love them for themselves.

MayBee70 Mon 26-Sep-22 11:20:14

We took a year out when we lost our last dog. I didn’t want another dog because I wanted to travel. Thankfully DH persuaded me to have another and, with the pandemic putting an end to any thoughts of travelling she’s become our world. We still miss our other dog and you never replace them, you just make more room in your heart. If I know someone that has lost a beloved dog I’m always happy to see them, when the time is right, with a new friend. In fact there are currently three people I’ve spoken to over the past few days that have taken on rescues after losing their previous dog and it’s lovely to see them with their new pet, so maybe that’s what your friend meant. I still think, and often shed tears, over the dogs and cats I’ve lost. They’re so much part of our lives because they’re with us 24/7 and the gap they leave when we lose them is immense x

Rosalyn69 Mon 26-Sep-22 11:40:33

It’s so hard losing a dear friend. My condolences. We lost our much loved Gerald in April. As luck would have it a friend’s dog was having puppies and we now have Stanley. He hasn’t replaced Gerald but he is a loved addition to our family in his own right.

Kalu Mon 26-Sep-22 11:59:08

I do empathise with you lippyqueen having been in your position a few times now. I needed time to heal before I could even think of getting another dog but eventually I did and found I loved each new member of the family every bit as much. We have what will be, our last pet, a cat as we are no longer able to excercise and walk our favourite breed, Labrador. I find myself gravitating towards any yellow Lab I come across for a permitted cuddle by their owners just to feel that familiar head and see those soulful brown eyes. Anyone who has suffered this loss would never dream of suggesting it’s time for a new dog at this point, you need this time to grieve. ?

Grayling1 Mon 26-Sep-22 12:12:15

I have the same thoughts as you about yellow Labradors Kalu . We lost our big fellow, Sandy, after thirteen and a half years, and missed him so much. He grew up with the kids but outstayed them at home so he was a big loss. I didn't want to have another dog but started doing Petstay". Loved it and met some great dogs and their owners but had stop doing this after DH passed away as you always need to have back up and although I had some lovely small dogs to look after I do hanker after another lab but it's not going to happen.

Iam64 Mon 26-Sep-22 12:14:33

Sincere condolences . Our dogs are key family members. Look after yourself.

Alioop Mon 26-Sep-22 13:23:19

My heart goes out to you losing your precious dog. I had to take two weeks off work when I had to get my girl put to sleep. I had 10 great years with her, I got her when she was 7 and she was a gorgeous, gentle dog, I adored her. It took a while, but I rescued another and I've had her now for 5 years. My sister's dog died suddenly before Xmas last year and she got so angry at people when they told her just to go and get another. You need time to get over losing your pal and it's only you who can decide if and when you are ready for another.

sodapop Mon 26-Sep-22 13:29:38

So sorry lippyqueen it is really hard when our much loved pets die. The Queen put it well when she said " Grief is the price we pay for love "
Our two boys died within three months of each other almost two years ago. Still can't talk about them without a lump in my throat.
We have two rescue girls now who bring us a lot of pleasure and who have a much better life now. You will never forget but it will get easier. thanks

grannyrebel7 Mon 26-Sep-22 13:42:14

So sorry to hear this Lippyqueen. I know how hard it is to lose a much loved dog. We've been through it a few times over the years. We waited 5 years to get another after our last dog died. DH wasn't keen but I think he's pleased now we have our pup, even though she's a real handful! Hope you start to feel better soon xx

Oldbat1 Mon 26-Sep-22 14:05:45

It is such a sad thing isn’t it. You know you’ve done the right thing but it still hurts like hell. Because we foster elderly often sick dogs we’ve faced this so many times and it doesn’t get any easier. My 14yr old dog is on palliative care currently. I can’t live without dogs at least 2 - currently have 3. The vets, dog warden and local dog rescue group frequently ask if I can foster. I’m sorry you have said goodbye to your lovely dog - one day I’m sure you will be able to open your heart and home to another.

dogsmother Mon 26-Sep-22 14:09:58

So, so sorry. Took me two years on my last dog. I think it’s can only be dog people that really get it it’s certainly heart breaking. I’m dreading it happening again. My sincere condolences to you xx

Pammie1 Mon 26-Sep-22 14:16:41

Sincere condolences, it’s so hard isn’t it ? When we lost our much loved boy, we were advised not to wait too long before opening our home to another, as it would help to heal. Couldn’t bear the thought at first but we took the plunge a little while later, and I have to say our new best friend got us over the worst of the grief.

Grandmabatty Mon 26-Sep-22 14:22:24

My condolences to you on the loss of your dog. I have had three dogs consequentially and lost my last one six years ago. I couldn't replace him and I still miss him. I don't think I'll ever get another dog. I know how you feel.

LauraNorderr Mon 26-Sep-22 14:50:53

I’m so sorry for you. Your lovely boy has left a big hole in your heart.
We lost our last lovely Labrador three years ago, I still feel her sitting on my feet sometimes and shed a tear at our happy memories.
We’re too old to have another now but our son has just bought a puppy and we hope we can cuddle him sometimes.
Big ?

sweetcakes Mon 26-Sep-22 14:52:18

I know how you feel our Jess died January 2021 she was 16 a bordercollie but I couldn't even think of getting a bc pup till February 2022 it wasn't planned it just happened we went to the sheep dog trials saw an ad by the tea and coffee stand! Saw her that afternoon and collected her on the Wednesday. You don't have to rush take your time you will know when your ready. ?

Septimia Mon 26-Sep-22 15:31:06

Some people feel able to take on a new pet fairly quickly (it doesn't necessarily mean they don't care) and some people don't. We're all different. You're just not ready to do it.

Of course you miss your lovely Rosco and always will to some extent, even if you do get another dog in due course. Pets fill our lives with joy and they're a big miss. Take your time, and remember the pleasure he gave you.

Joane123 Mon 26-Sep-22 18:06:47

I am so sorry, it is very hard, they are such a huge part of our lives.
I have a King Charles at the moment, been here for almost three years now and we love him. The other day I was sorting out my wardrobe and came across a handbag at the back of the wardrobe - when I took all the stuff out of it there are the bottom was a picture of my other dog (I do have pictures of him all over the house) and it knocked me for six, it was as if he was saying "don't forget me mum, I'm still with you".
Take each day, one day at a time, that is all you can do.
Take care.

Nanna58 Mon 26-Sep-22 18:15:14

I am so very sorry for your loss, it’s devastating: we lost both our dogs in the past year, I don’t think your neighbour meant to be insensitive, every one deals with this differently. We now have two more dogs, they are our 8th and 9th all rescues. We rehome quite quickly because for us the object is to give other dogs the brilliant home all our dogs have had , but you and only you will know if and when the time is right again. ??

lippyqueen Mon 26-Sep-22 19:44:25

Thank you everyone for your kind and heartfelt words. It helps to know the experiences you have all had. Just out of interest where do you find your rescues?

Joseanne Mon 26-Sep-22 21:05:43

I'm so sorry, it is so painful. Rosco will remain in your hearts forever.

Nanna58 Mon 26-Sep-22 21:49:57

My rescues have come from Battersea and also Greyhounds in Need xx