Gransnet forums

Relationships

'Tiger mom' or soft touch?

(4 Posts)
Annobel Mon 06-Jun-11 12:07:27

I have to say I was shocked to read about the parenting policy of Amy Chua, a Chinese American academic who seems to have made her daughters her project whether they liked it or not. Google her to find out the full horror story. Were you a 'tiger'?

grannyactivist Mon 06-Jun-11 17:18:06

Never! Makes me shudder to imagine all that organisation going on so that little 'cubs' can outshine the 'competition'. Of course I wanted my children to achieve whatever their ambitions were, but we can't all be top of the class and some of us don't particularly think that's an important goal. My oldest son is doing a maths degree and works his socks off; my younger son is training as an outdoor education instructor and works his socks off. I am equally proud that both have discovered something that they want to do and which they have chosen to work hard for. I am much more concerned about whether my children's character is developing than whether they get 'impressive' grades - and I say that as a teacher.grin

absentgrana Mon 06-Jun-11 22:26:08

I reckon one of the most important functions of a parent and probably a grandparent too is to open doors. Let the child walk through and try what he or she finds there – gymnastics, ballet, piano, cello, martial arts, creative writing, making puppets… If it's not for that child, he or she can walk out again and try another door that a parent or grandparent opens and so on. Neither a parent or grandparent has the right to close doors and certainly may not lock a child in there.

Heather Mon 06-Jun-11 23:00:03

I would always have said I was a tiger - ie always reminding them of their ps and qs, table manners, "have you washed your hands?" (after visiting the bathroom), they did their homework every evening etc., etc. However, having seen this article I think that, perhaps, after all, I was a pussy cat!!!!!