Denied Contact.

This is something I fear although it hasn't happened. It was one of the reasons I joined Gransnet so I have noted the web address thank you.

Let me know via website if I can give you any advice.
Obviously I don't know your circumstances, but the most important thing to remember is how ever difficult, leave all lines of communication open, it is once communication breaks down that it is so difficult.
Jane.

Thanks for that, it was something I was worried about but fingers crossed the problem hasn't arisen. I have found your website though, just in case and would wish you well.

So, when your son/son's wife block emails and text messages, and haven't given you a forwarding address, what can you do?

Hi Nanban,
I am sorry that you are experiencing this,you could set up a blog for your grandchild/grandchildren, where you can post all family news etc, keeping it non confrontational.
I don't know the age of the children, but certainly children always Google their own name at some stage, so if you have set a blog up, it will appear.
Jane
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

We had a hiccup with DGs when they where 14/15yrs and a bit of tension in the family due to the 2nd marriage of my DD,we kept the door open for them to speak to us at any time and the elder of the two responded slowly but he kept in touch(they went to live with their father)thing's have now become much better but the youngest does not communicate with his mother at all,I can only hope as he become's more mature in his out look on life that he will understand that these thing's happen in some families,my DD keep's a constant up-date of family life for him through his older brother,so I think time is the healer in this one.My eldest DGs is now back living at home with DD and on going with his Uni education 2ndDGs has his own home and share's with girlfriend and is doing well in his engineering career my DD is brokenhearted that she has no contact with her DS but we hope he will start to communicate as time goes.

it is about being patient and letting the children work it out for themselves,I have worked hard in Bristol to try and stop the phrase 'Grandparents Rights,' it is not about grandparents rights it is about the rights of the children. To be loved and cared for by both parents and to be part of their extended family ,if it is safe for them to do so.
Jane.
www.bristolgrandparentssupportgroup.co.uk

I lost contact with my three oldest grandchildren for two years after my son became divorced from their mother.She denied him access so that meant DH and myself as well.It nearly broke my heart, but after our son had made numerous visits to a solicitor, it went to court and he got access again.
They visit us regularly and at present we have his third daughter living with us.He and his second wife and their two children live with us as well.
Seperation frm your grandchildren is terrible and I live in dread of the same thing happening again.
My sympathy goes out to anyone in this position.

This thread seems to have gone cold.There will be many grans denied access to grandchildren for who Christmas will be very sad indeed.
Did anyone see 'My Family 'on Sat evening.The little girl when asked by 'Father Christmas'(Ben)what she wanted for Christmas said 'I want to see my Grandad again'.
To all the 1million children and grandparents denied contact I send love and best wishes.
Hoping for a miracle in your family

Yes, I saw My Family and I sat there wishing my ex-DIL could watch it and be affected by the message. We have had some lovely times seeing my grandson this last couple of months, after a gap through the summer. but we were denied a visit with him this weekend, for barely plausible reasons. However, I think the important thing is to keep plugging away - we have been assured we will see him next week and today I picked him up from school so spent 10 minutes with him. A 20 mile round trip to do it and worth every moment!

I echo your good wishes to all those children and their grandparents this Christmas.

Oh, to all of you denied access - I am hoping and praying for you. I cannot imagine how you feel - well, I can actually and the pain must be unbearable. Once again, GN has made me count my blessings.

Today I had an appointment with my MP.(Actually it was yesterday evening)on the subject of Grandchildren's/Grandparents rights.
I have never done this before (another first at 80) but incensed and grieving at being denied contact and supported by Jane I made an appt.2 months ago.
I was very apprehensive and only had 10 mins -but it was very positive!! He had with him my letter sent earlier and said he was 100% supportive of action to establish contact rights for both parents and for grandparents.
He promised to write to Secretary of State for Justice and do all he can to further our cause.
Please write to your MP for the 1 million grandchildren denied contact this Christmas

That's fantastic Maniac. One thing I would add is, if you do have some contact with your grandchild/ren, and they are old enough to remember what you say, remind them gently how much you love them and want to continue seeing them and will always try your hardest to do that. We got contact back and it's been working just fine but is being threatened again at the whim of ex-DIL. At least this time, we know we've been able to give a stronger message in case it's disrupted again. WHY someone would do that to a child is beyond me!

Well done Maniac - and more power to your elbow! Carol I hope things stay steady with your ex-DiL. The cruelty (because that's what it is) of people like her is totally beyond reason. What pleasure can they gain from being like that? Good luck. xx

Advice please . 9yrs ago we were told that our 2 gs(then aged 14yrs and 9 yrs ) did not want to see us anymore -- they live 2 hours away from us .We were shocked at this as we had always got on well with dil , and hand on heart had never had a cross word between us , we treated her as a daughter especially because she had fallen out with her parents We had boys to stay for hols . and all had great fun together . After 2 yrs the older gs fell out with his Mother and left home and eventually came back to our side of family and has done well with education and his career . He lives part-time with us as he is often out of country . We still have no contact with his brother ( now 17 yrs ) . I have always sent him Xmas , Birthday and Easter cards all with a cheque enclosed . These have all been cashed but I have never had acknowledgement . My Husband told me to stop when gs reached 14yrs as he didn't have manners to thank me , but I continued on qt as it is the only contact I have . Now ( sorry about the long story ) my question is do I continue to send cards and money to him or should I say enough is enough and stop doing so ? I really would vauie your advice . Thank you for listening .

Have youthought about seeking the opinion of the older brother with whom you're on good terms? Is he in contact with the younger one?

I would say carry on, and treat him they same as his brother. You may find that his brother gives information about you and could be influential in helping reinstate contact. He might not know how to go about it, after such a long time, so why not send regular invitations - no strings - and let him know how much you long to see him? Good luck x

Have you ever asked your younger grandson for an acknowledgement or a thankyou.As mentioned in another thread children do not seem to be taught to say thank you for presents ( or anything else).
The suggestion of talking to older brother about how you/he feel is a good one.
For years I sent cards/presents to my 2 nieces until they were 18.The next year I didn't.When we next spoke she said 'You forgot my birthday this year'.I quietly reminded her that I had never had a thankyou. I think the message got home to them. We kept in friendly touch over the years.
Her mother (my sister) died in 1987. Last month I was invited to her father's funeral- quite a family gathering.
Hope you resolve your dilemma.

riclorian I would keep on sending to your youngest grandson,the reason being I think at 17 boys do not understand the upset they cause by not responding and they are not as mature as we would expect them to be,with him being the youngest of the two he may have been kept in the dark as to the problems within the family,you never know,when he has a few more years to mature then is the time I think to and have face to face contact,until then enjoy his progress via his elder brother.Best wishes.

Does anyone watch 'Doctors' on BBC 1 daily at 1.45p.m.
I sometimes watch whilst eating a late lunch.Often the story lines are irritatingly farcical.
However last week (5th)one story was painfully topical.
The practice manager Julie received a parcel containing returned Xmas presents she'd sent to her grand-daughter and a note from DIL saying 'Stay out of our lives'
I wonder how this story will progress.

Definitely not. Nor casualty or holby or anything like that. Don't like the sight of blood!

You and Doc Martin too??

No, not watched it - I imagine it's an issue that is going to be resolved if it's in a soap.

No blood around in 'Doctors'.It's centred on on a GP health centre and mostly follows the domestic dramas of the staff.
Their reaction to Julia's denied contact with her grandchild is to try and distract her with Zumba dancing and other extreme sports!
I'm afraid that's typical of well-meaning people who have little understanding of the heartbreak and desperation in this situation.And it does nothing to help the child denied contact with half his family
My own GP said 'He'll probably come back on his own when he's older'. I may be dead by then!