My DD (who was in abusive relationship until about a year ago and has 5 children aged 7 – 18) told me two nights ago that the guy she is seeing (he has asked her to marry) is in Thailand at the moment and has been for a month. I had thought they were together at Christmas etc and gave present to both and so on, asking where he was when I visited. Apparently he has a child in Thailand as well as the two teenagers he has in this country. My daughter only told me when I phoned because she had had a wine or two and I think she regrets telling me. I was shocked and angry on several counts although I have since told her that of course it is her business. She says she is fine with it (not what she said when wine affected). She says they have discussed it with her children – four of whom are girls. So I am crossish that I was lied to but that isn't too bad as I really do think that at over forty, DD doesn't have to tell me all intimate details of her life, but am more upset that 4 girls should be exposed to the idea that sex tourism is ok because I don't and think it is exploitation of women. No I don't know all the facts but DD says she did know that this guy went to Thailand every year before she got involved. She just didn't know about child (and it's mother presumably). And what about sexually transmitted diseases?
I can't tell my mother who would worry herself stupid, I can't tell DH who would never talk to the guy and if DD is daft enough to marry this cretin, it would make a difficult relationship with her even harder. I am not asking advice as to what to do as there isn't anything I can do but advice as to whether my opinion on sex tourism is old-fashioned puritanical stuff and should I lighten up?
grrrranny Sat 31-Dec-11 10:07:54
Annobel Sat 31-Dec-11 10:22:23
JessM Sat 31-Dec-11 10:23:56
grrrranny Sat 31-Dec-11 10:30:13
bagitha Sat 31-Dec-11 10:50:51
Carol Sat 31-Dec-11 11:12:53
Carol Sat 31-Dec-11 11:15:46
bagitha Sat 31-Dec-11 11:47:49
grrrranny Sat 31-Dec-11 11:49:41
Carol Sat 31-Dec-11 11:59:15