My sister is 75 and lives alone on a council estate in Manchester. She does not drive and the little bus stops running at 4 p.m. (Thanks, Stagecoach!)
She was quite happy until recently - she belongs to two groups and enjoys the various activities and outings. She had become very close friends with a woman in a similar position and was very fond of her. Then a new woman joined both groups and began to 'take over' my sister's friend. The new woman has a car and at first she took both of them on outings, but then my sister found out she had been taking just her friend out, and neither of them had mentioned it. The friend is not very bright and is easily led - I met her and thought she was probably not lively enough for me sister (she has to translate any word of more than two syllables for her) but Kath enjoyed their friendship.
Now, things have come to a head, with the new woman screaming abuse at my sister at the end of one meeting and repeating what the 'friend' had told her Kath had said about her.
Kath tells me that all the other women in the group have either partners or already have close friends. Because of the poor public transport, if Kath goes out at night it means taking a taxi both ways which limits her very much. She has heart and spine problems and cannot walk for more than a hundred yards or so. She has two sons who live within a couple of miles but they are not prepared to offer her any lifts, other than the occasional run to the airport when she goes to visit her helpful son, who unfortunately lives in Glasgow.
I have suggested that she makes a determined effort to introduce herself to any new woman who joins the groups and sees if anyone is in the same boat as herself. I have also suggested she takes a class or two at the local library and she says she will make enquiries about the historical and genealogical groups, which both interest her. She took a computer course but she has never learnt to use her answerphone or programme her VCR,and she has no computer for practice. She likes reading so I have suggested she find a reading group too. She can get to the library fairly easily and most activities take place there.
Kath is friendly, outgoing and interested in other people. She had a couple of friends in her street, but they have both died.
I know some of our members find themselves in a similar situation, and I wonder if anyone can offer any more advice.
I live in a far more isolated place and my best friend lives in another country, but I am happy with my situation and I have my computer and my car.
Greatnan Sat 02-Jun-12 21:10:12
Ariadne Sat 02-Jun-12 21:26:44
Greatnan Sat 02-Jun-12 23:11:25
Joan Sun 03-Jun-12 01:49:05
Joan Sun 03-Jun-12 02:05:35
Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 06:57:55
nelliedeane Sun 03-Jun-12 09:37:39
Hunt Sun 03-Jun-12 09:42:12
granjura Sun 03-Jun-12 09:47:18
Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 09:47:48
Jacey Sun 03-Jun-12 09:53:06
Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 09:54:57
AlisonMA Sun 03-Jun-12 10:08:25
j04 Sun 03-Jun-12 10:11:53
Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 10:15:07
nanaej Sun 03-Jun-12 11:07:14
AlisonMA Sun 03-Jun-12 11:20:07
Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 12:31:54
granjura Sun 03-Jun-12 16:41:08
Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 17:55:09
nanaej Sun 03-Jun-12 18:52:15
AlisonMA Sun 03-Jun-12 19:05:14
Maniac Sun 03-Jun-12 19:32:18
Greatnan Sun 03-Jun-12 19:36:52