why can't they mind their own business?

If my DH was such a nasty piece of work as some of the ones on here, I'd tell him that that's what he was being. It's so rude! I'm amazed anyone puts up with it

I'd change the locks!

Run out of milk! (have a secret supply for yourself)

Park your car so he can't get his out and refuse to budge it (having lost the keys).

Etc, etc.
Then lose your rag and tell him you're bloody sick of his moaning and negativity and he can just SHUT UP before you get angry.

Grrr.

Get in some charity shop crockery and start throwing it around.

Just don't put up with it.

(quietly.... I'm done now )

I think it,s called playing them at their own game or throwing it back in their faces.

Gosh bags - can't you come up with a suggestion then?
gally you make me feel guilty, granny23 your post was just so true, but I have realised that 1) DH has a theory for everything (as did my FIL) and 2) when these great men are in their offices making high-powered decisions [irony] emoticon, they are happy to let us be in charge at home, but when they cease work, the need to be decisive is still there so it gets transferred to the domestic front. 2 years ago we had a major sulk because 'imself wanted a herbaceous border in new garden plan, while I wanted labour-saving - i.e. grass and a few shrubs. When I suggested that as he never lifted a finger in the garden he was one to talk, he was really upset, and I realise that he felt "written off" so I gave in, consulted him on the planning and design, we spent a lot of money and last year it looked lovely. This year? He has not been well enough to do anything. I have not said I TOLD YOU SO, because even without his health, he would not have done what needed doing. C'est la vie!
On to the next "project"!!!

Granny123 - you should write a book, or at least an article for the Oldie magazine

Maries .....hmmm - doesn't he even have any friends to go to the pub with?

Bags - you sound quite scary

When we both retired I pointed out that as he was an electrical engineer he should take over all things electrical. The iron, washing machine, cooker,etc.bless him he did! Apart from the Hoover I don't think he ever found out what it was for?

gracesmum, sounds as if you're coping just fine. I wasn't suggesting, by the way, that your DH is a bully. I suppose, on the whole, I'm lucky because although DH has lots of projects (think Mr Toad in ^Wind in the Willows^), he doesn't interfere with my work. To be honest, I don't think he notices domestic details, and he'll always go for some milk, or other things, if we run out.

I just hate to see women (apparently) being downtrodden by grumpy men. I remember a lovely bit in and Arnold Bennet book (^Anna of the Five Towns^, I think) when she finally started facing up to her father's ridiculousness and got a dripping tap fixed without his permission.

It's this sort of nonsense that feminism is really about stopping.

Oh yes, jane, I'm dead scary. Saves a lot of bother

I am finding these posts very entertaining. Keep them coming girls!

Bags !!!!

You have to start training them early or they will be hopeless! With our first dishwasher DH kept complaining that I didn't load it properly so I decided it was to be left for him. When it broke down and he asked about the washing up I explained that he was the washer upper.

He is an only child whose mother doted on him so is not good at team work. I have gradually coaxed him into letting me 'help' just by standing there and passing him the thing he needs. He is still not good at it but is improving.

I broke my ankle and couldn't stand so he had to cook. When I got better he asked me when I was going to start cooking again and I said 'well I did the first 43 years..................' Now he cooks and I don't even go in the kitchen while he is doing it. He is getting very good. A friend's husband decided to cook but she kept going in the kitchen and telling him what he was doing wrong so he stopped cooking.

DH is very good at 'supervising' me but often waits until I have finished before telling me what I did wrong. Now I do a job and then ask him what I did wrong and he is getting better at not critiscising me.

He likes to use the machinery and doesn't like me playing with his 'toys' so I 'let' him vacuum, mow and hedge trim.

We share a trolley in the supermarket but I am always being told off for rushing around and not giving him time to find the bargains. I am only interested in bargains of things we need! I do have to be careful as I recently discovered we have enough Fairy liquid to last the rest of our lives even though we have a dishwasher! He sneaks things I wouldn't approve of into the trolley and I only see them at the checkout and then he gives me that look of a little boy who has been caught out!

You can teach an old dog new tricks but it is an on-going job.

My DH is a bit like mrgracesmum.

He tries very hard to contribute to the domestic chores that are necessary to live a vaguely hygienic lifestyle and to eat! However as he has little practical experience, until more recently when he semi retired, his 'helpfulness' often creates more work! When I moan at him try to explain sensitively why something is not quite right he gets cross and sulks! I am very good I let him try again!

Just like to add that Theseus is in no way hypercritical - I am useless at parking and know it, and it's usually a way to take the **. Believe me, I can give as good as I get, but it doesn't happen often because, I think, we don't do everything together, which suits us.

Ariadne I agree about not doing everything together! We can manage a couple of days in a row on our own without a minor row! (unless we are away on holiday with the distraction of new experiences) so it's a good job we both have p/t work, he goes to footie (though a nuisance as often limits social events)& I have WI, DGC to look after, own friends to socialise with and my campaigns!

gally

Would it be naive to hope that the next generation of males will be more useful around the house? I must have done something right [smug emoticon] because both of mine are handy and are great cooks.

Having met Bags the other day, I cannot imagine her being 'scary'! She's very gentle......obviously with well-disguised hidden depths ! Other 'arf is very good around the house - as I don't always notice things that need to be done . He is, however, completely hopeless at mending things. We've had a leaking U-bend in the bathroom washbasin for ages.....but that's MY fault for filling it when I wash, he says. He just lets the water run, so it doesn't build up....[waste emoticon] and promises to 'look at it' later.....

When my husband retired in his late fifties and I was still working, he decided to get a grip on the housework in a methodical manner (unlike my haphazard approach during the previous thirty years).

So smarty pants settled down to make a complicated card system which would tell him on which day to do which job etc.

I remember telling him it wouldn't work but to no avail

Needless to say, he never got to use the card system beyond the first week or two.

Mine is polishing the 'brasses' now.......he blames having to do that on the fact that his forefinger is a bit crooked with arthritis

My dear old Mum put up with years of moaning from Father, lor knows why but she adored him. Any way after many years and us children clearing out as soon as we could, the worm turned one day. He was partial to a cooked breakfast and one day sat staring at it for a few minutes then announced 'there is a hair in this'. In the past Mum would have apologised and cooked another lot but this time she soundlessly removed plate from the table and tipped the lot in the bin and carried on clearing up the kitchen. He was evidently so taken aback he did become a bit less of a misery.