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why is it the half always thinks his right

(45 Posts)
greenie Sun 14-Oct-12 20:42:57

i dont think there is a week go by where we dont have a argument about food. which seems silly but what ever i cook its not right. i try to not argue back but in the end i got so fed up the remarks which he never sees any thing wrong in what he says. and then its why have u done this , but when its the other way round it does matter how long he takes to do something. it just seems to get worse, put i have put up with the way he is, but getting to the point of why should i , he always blame me for my attitude to wards him but can not see, if he was better towards me perhaps my attitude could change. interested in other people thoughts

Greatnan Sun 14-Oct-12 20:44:48

You could leave him to cook his own meals.

Marelli Sun 14-Oct-12 21:04:41

Or do what I did in our first weeks together, and my DH told me he didn't like the way I'd fried his eggs.....I stuck his egg where the didn't shine. He never complained about my cooking again! grin
Seriously, greenie, have you been able just to talk to him about why he's speaking to you like this?

Anne58 Sun 14-Oct-12 21:07:16

greenie , is this your first post? When did you join Gransnet?

Grannyknot Sun 14-Oct-12 22:05:27

greenie my husband stopped complaining about anything I cooked since the day I said to him (a long time ago) "I should be so lucky as to have someone put a plate of food down in front of me every single night" - with a sweet smile of course. The next thing I did was offer to teach him to cook. And I did! So now he does! He has quite a respectable repertoire of about 5 staples. And I never complain.

gramps Sun 14-Oct-12 23:15:08

Greenie, hello,
Is it possible for you to get away for a week by yourself, so that he has to fend for himself ?. He may realise just what you do for him then!

SeanMc Sun 14-Oct-12 23:59:18

Some of us fend very well for ourselves.

absentgrana Mon 15-Oct-12 07:40:16

I'm not sure that attempting to teach him to cook would get you very far, but you could try asking him to help in the kitchen. Mind you, that's double edged. Mr absent had little or no idea about cooking when he met me whereas I write cookbooks. I got him involved in the kitchen and nowadays he occasionally starts telling me how to cook. I usually just hurl mashed potato at him or put his dinner in the bin and it shuts him up. Good luck. smile

Greatnan Mon 15-Oct-12 07:56:28

My ex husband had never been on the back of a horse, but he used to tell our daughters, both accomplished riders, how to sit, hold the reins, etc. It is something some men do! Oh, and some women, of course!

Grannyknot Mon 15-Oct-12 08:38:03

seanmac and gramps wonderful to have that balance expressed. Sometimes we forget that men can be just as self-sufficient as women wink

JessM Mon 15-Oct-12 09:03:58

And some men do all the cooking. But I don't suppose they would continue to do so if they were criticised.

Lilygran Mon 15-Oct-12 09:29:51

My DH does the cooking and the ironing. My DS too. Would you criticise, Jess?

vampirequeen Mon 15-Oct-12 10:17:21

Does he bully you in other ways too hunni? My controlling, abusive ex used to constantly tell me and anyone who would listen that I was a rubbish cook. In fact he would belittle me whenever and wherever he could.

If it's just this then he's an irritating oik and let him cook for a week so he can see how difficult it is.

glammanana Mon 15-Oct-12 10:17:59

Greenie why not sit him down and explain to him that at our time of life we should be enjoying each others company and not finding fault with everything that we do life is to short for that sort of thing.
Mr glamma has always done the family ironing and he does a much better job than I do he is also a dab hand in the kitchen as he made all the meals for the children when I worked full time and my working day meant that I arrived home later than him,if by any chance he complained about my cooking he would have to fend for himself.

Anne58 Mon 15-Oct-12 10:23:04

We seem to have some newbies who ask a question then are never seen again!

I hope we aren't putting them off?

Ella46 Mon 15-Oct-12 10:25:16

SeanMc good for you, my dad could cook a basic meal when he was alive, and my son is a brilliant cook, cakes, curries, you name it and he'll have a go!
gramps you are a love xx

greenie personally I'd leave him to it and eat out with friends for a week! grin

Elle Mon 15-Oct-12 10:36:29

greenie You state that you continually argue about food because your OH complains that it "isn't right". I don't quite understand what you're saying here. Are you cooking food that he doesn't like? Are you creating dishes with ingredients that aren't to his taste? Is your gravy too thick or too thin? Food being not right covers a wide spectrum.

If you can't sit down and sort it out between you then there's something very wrong with your relationship. My husband would only need to tell me once that he didn't like something and I'd never dish it up to him again, even if it was my favourite dish.

Mishap Mon 15-Oct-12 10:55:15

Just cook enough for yourself and leave him with none - he'll soon get the message! Sorry, I'm being a hard woman, but I would give a lot to have someone plonk a cooked meal in front of me every day.

We have a problem in that we have very very different taste in food - I like salads, pasta, grilled fish, fruit and I hardly eat any red meat - he likes stodgy stuff with beef etc. Since he only weighs 7.5 stone and we are trying hard to fatten him up I finish up cooking and eating stuff that I do not like as I cannot be bothered to do two separate meals each day. However......we have just started ordering frozen plated meals from a well-known company while I am on crutches and he loves them and gobbles them down. I am tempted to just go on getting these for him and cook other things for myself - both happy!

Greenie - sounds as though it's not just about the food - I hope you can find ways of resolving your differences.

glammanana Mon 15-Oct-12 11:54:03

mishap I am so glad of the feedback you have given about the ordered in food plates I was thinking about those for my neighbour who has problems catering for herself.
If your DH enjoys them then I would certainly keep on ordering them in as long as he enjoys them as it stops you from wasting food he is not fond of.

SeanMc Mon 15-Oct-12 12:35:27

greenie it sounds to me as if there is more to this than just food. Am I right?
ella46 I cook a mean curry but tried a cake once and it was like a brick. I threw it out on the lawn for the birds and it lay there for two days.

Greatnan Mon 15-Oct-12 12:36:50

Sean, you have very picky birds!

Ana Mon 15-Oct-12 12:37:40

Or it was a truly terrible cake! confused

SeanMc Mon 15-Oct-12 12:42:52

Bit of both no doubt.

Lilygran Mon 15-Oct-12 13:10:02

No belittling, vamp if you were addressing me! He likes cooking, always has, ditto the DS and one of the DGS is very keen.

absentgrana Mon 15-Oct-12 13:28:09

vampirequeen You are quite right that in those circumstances he should fend for himself. But, seer how hard it is – cooking is easy peasy. In fact, a piece of cake. smile