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Are you 'single-at-heart'?

(70 Posts)
Grannyknot Wed 02-Jan-13 13:47:37

Came across this blog today, quite interesting. Made me wonder - there must be loads of people who are 'single-at-heart'. I really love 'me time' and am lucky to be in a relationship with a keen golfer so I get plenty of time to myself. Works for us! I often get exasperated when I feel I have to explain myself to DH. So am I single at heart? [hmmm]

Grannyknot Wed 02-Jan-13 13:48:11

One 'm' too many! That should be hmm of course.

jO5 Wed 02-Jan-13 13:56:16

I tick some of those boxes. Not sure if I could cope well with being single all the time. I like DH to come home eventually.

kittylester Wed 02-Jan-13 14:02:35

I also tick some of the boxes but I would hate to be single!

Jodi Wed 02-Jan-13 14:03:30

grannyknot that's me to a T. MrJ and I just shared a house. We had nothing in common except the children and the grandchildren and these he found a nuisance 'I'm getting too old for this' etc. He must be the most boring man in the world and I can't even be bothered to argue with him any more. So tomorrow I'm upping sticks and with my son and his family we're moving to Scotland. We've inherited a hotel from my aunt who died recently and my son and his wife will manage it and I'll live in one of the rental cottages on site. All by myself!
I'll fly down to the midlands once a week for my work and to see my other grandchild.
Yes, I'm 'single at heart' smile

crimson Wed 02-Jan-13 14:07:34

Oh perlease don't get me started....confused. The S.O. has just gone home and I'm so ready for having the house to myself [except I'm back at work tomorrow and he'll be back Friday night]. I've tried [in the past; I've given up now] to explain my need for 'me time' but he seems to be a 'joined at the hip' person. Both trying to re create our last marriages which failed [probably for the same reasons]. Just wanting to be alone doesn't mean that you don't want to be with that person or enjoy their company, but you both need to be separate beings to be interesting [and to have something to talk about].

FlicketyB Wed 02-Jan-13 15:00:58

DD is a 'single-at-heart and decided very young that marriage and children were not for her. She will be 40 this year and lives very happily alone in her own home. Following a serious road accident she has become a home worker as well. She is not anti-social, she has a lot of friends and is out with one or another regularly. She is close to her family, we talk most days.

I am a single-at heart who has been happily married for over 40 years but I do need a lot of solitary time. Before retirement DH's job required him to be away a lot and it worked well. I got my down time when he was away. Now he is almost completely retired, just the odd few days freelance work every few months and he perceives my retreat away from him into my own world as rejection. He does his best to understand but he needs much more us time than I do.

jO5 Wed 02-Jan-13 15:03:30

Jodi! (I think I might be just a teeny bit envy) shock

jO5 Wed 02-Jan-13 15:04:13

Not really!!!!! shock

Grannyknot Wed 02-Jan-13 15:55:23

jodi that sounds incredibly exciting! And a perfect arrangement ... best of luck with your adventure.

Granny23 Wed 02-Jan-13 16:04:37

Jodi New Year, New You, New Life - how exciting . Well done on siezing the opportunity that has presented itself smile

Barrow Wed 02-Jan-13 16:24:01

jodi Good Luck

I am probably a single at heart. Happily married for over 40 years but we always had our own interests and in the evening would talk continually over dinner about our day - I do miss those chats.

Faye Wed 02-Jan-13 18:47:30

jodi I am trying to imagine how you felt, when you realised the perfect opportunity had opened up to leave your husband to be boring on his own. I am a teensy bit envy because I love adventure and also know what it is like to be bored to death by a man. grin

jO5 Wed 02-Jan-13 18:49:44

Don't we all Faye. hmm grin

Ariadne Wed 02-Jan-13 18:59:34

jodi good luck to you! Be very happy.

We've been married for 47 years, but do like our own space. DH was in the army for many years, and often away, so I think I learned to live life my way, and enjoyed it. Then we were both busy, busy commuters, again doing our own thing but with joyful weekends and holidays. And even now, we are "separate but intimate" which is the great dichotomy of any relationship, isn't it?

Ariadne Wed 02-Jan-13 19:00:33

"intimate" ???? smile

Smoluski Wed 02-Jan-13 19:33:14

Yes think I may be single at my own space have always wanted a little flat at the end of the garden OH would be invited to stay if and when I felt the need as Ariadne so aptly says "separate but intimate"

nightowl Wed 02-Jan-13 19:53:51

I think this can change. I used to think I would hate to be on my own, but the older I get the more I crave my own space and time. I would most definitely describe myself as single at heart now. I see the same in many of my female friends. Perhaps after a lifetime of trying to be all things to all people we reach a stage where we just want to be ourselves. People who can achieve that within a relationship are very fortunate.

And ((hugs)) to those who are alone not by choice, and do not consider themselves 'single at heart'.

Smoluski Wed 02-Jan-13 19:59:21

I agree also with you nightowl wouldn't want to be totally on my own,but just space to explore me,and also think of all of our friends here who through no choice of their own now find themselves heart is with fickle am I xxxxloveto you all nellie

nightowl Wed 02-Jan-13 20:06:47

I love your idea of a flat at the end of the garden Smoluski smile. Only difference is, I would send OH there while I kept the house grin

crimson Wed 02-Jan-13 20:06:59

I'd love a caravan in the garden [gardens not big enough, though]. I could tidy the house and leave it tidy and just live in the caravan. I lived in a caravan when I was in my teens but it did get a bit cold.

york46 Wed 02-Jan-13 20:53:23

Good luck jodi - all the very best for the future and your new venture!

Jodi Wed 02-Jan-13 20:58:34

Thank you all you lovely people. I'll be offline for a few days but as soon as we're settled in I'll update.
I feel all excited. grin grin grin

Ana Wed 02-Jan-13 21:04:25

smile Jodi

yogagran Wed 02-Jan-13 21:26:19

Good luck Jodi - look forward to hearing the next instalment from you