Online porn

You say he was the one to end your physical relationship. How do you feel about that? Have you recovered fully from the surgery?

I only ask because I guess the ideal would be for you and him to resume things. And then he might not feel the need. But you might not be comfortable with that, quite understandably.

I wouldn't be happy with it tbh. I don't like the porn industry.

My ex husband enjoyed pornography. It just served to make me feel inadequate and undesirable.

This is bothering you, Ladyblue. You don't deserve to feel this way, so do you feel as if you could ask him why he want to look at these images? His 'little bit of pleasure' could perhaps be gained from you, so that you could both benefit....I don't mean to be offensive or rude - but there are ways round things.

ladyblue I think its something you have to talk about if you can, it could be that as you were so ill he could not turn to you and as time has gone on he does not know how to approach the subject, he may welcome you taking the lead in the subject.
I can understand that it makes you feel insecure, old and ugly, but would you be able to make the first move, he may just be waiting for your lead.

I am sorry if I have offended you but I think its a case of you cant make an omelette without breaking the eggs.

Oh always a tricky situation. Do you now have separate bedrooms or do you still share a bed but not physical intimacy?

If the latter could you initiate a cuddle before you sleep? Maybe he feels you would prefer not to be intimate so is keeping his distance and finding some sort of satisfaction with online porn. If you show you are happy for some physical demonstration of your love it may make him realise you can still give him what he seeks online.

I would try to talk about it if at all possible.. even if it starts with a bit of a row maybe better to at least acknowledge the situation and your concerns.

Good luck

oops my post crossed with glass who is saying similar things!

nanaj great minds

ladyblue speaking for myself, I'd not be happy about it. And in a rock solid marriage, and one where there is love, I would most definitely feel able to broach the subject. And if he finds that embarrassing, then so be it. At the moment saving his feelings of embarrassment, means that you are insecure and feeling old and ugly.

Is he still capable of an erection?

I don't think there is a problem with looking at porn within a loving marriage but it shouldn't be a secret and both should be comfortable that it is happening.

Can't agree with that vampire.

jeni too blunt! (and Ladyblue's DH is not likely to be ninety!)

jingle a gentleman can get erectile dysfunction at any age

There is nothing to suggest that Ladyblue's DH can't get an erection! It was the "still" in jeni's question that made me think she was thinking in terms of age.

j07 how can a question about a man being able to get an erection be 'too blunt' when the OP was talking about him watching pornography!

It may be that he is fearful of hurting you after all your surgery, and is maybe unsure of his ability to please you.
Just a tiny doubt in his mind and his erection may fail and make him feel worse.

Just seems it to me nanaej. Simple as that.

It could be that he was worried about his ability to 'function' and was testing it with porn. It's a common occurrence!
Rose sorry if you think it's blunt. its not. its a Factual medical query which elucidate the reason for the behaviour!

Yeah right.

I am not changing my name to Rose. Where the f--- did you get that from?

'That which we call a rose' go back to previous posts!
I think Rose suits you!
Fragrant in humour, but prickly.
And I'm sure-- gorgeous!

yer daft old bugger

Do NOT report that!

I already have...