Daughter wont let me see my grandchildren

Your daughter lives with aggression, and fear, and bullying so she will only react to the least pressure from you with all the anger she can't let out to the boyfriend. Such a terribly difficult thing to do, but if you can simply let her know that she is loved and you are a safe, unpressured, place she can come to, she may just need to know that.

I hope for better times for you all.

petra, I read that as 'he didn't come round again' and wondered what you were confessing to.

If this were happening to a Daughter of mine I wouldn't need a male member of family. As my Dad would say: there's nothing a piece of 4x2 can't fix.
Some years ago one of the DDs had a boyfriend who would just not leave her alone. I threw him down the stairs. He didn't come around again.

cutebab Thats good that he is not allowed there when the children are there so you have saved them from him when you called the police wether your daughter talks to you or not, so i truly believe that you did the right thing.

I feel that if your daughter has spoken to you about the children, then there is a good chance she may come around if you try and keep in gentle contact with her.

One thing that can work in these situations sometimes is if the Mother is made aware that it is a bad example to be setting her children that its ok to be treated in this way and would she like her children, when grown to be treated in this way.

One last thing there are places that your daughter can go called womens refuge, were he will hopefully not be able to find her as they are very secure and safe places.

I hope all goes well for you, hopefully your daughter will see sense

glammanana i have sent her a text saying if you need anything you know where i am as she will not answer my calls although she did answer once about 2 weeks ago she didnt say much but she did say the kids were fine and the baby now had 8 teeth ..i didnt want to push it so i just said you know where i am ....i havnt got a husband or male figure as her father moved abroad when they were young or i would ve sent him round ages ago , i just hope she comes to her senses and realises what the kids are missing out on cos its so much x i do believe he is controlling who she speaks to and has control of her phone when he is around , she reopened her face book account after they split up but thats gone again aswell x

sweetbab This is an awful situation to be in but from experience with DDs x husband,just make sure you do not loose contact with your daughter what she is saying now is what she thinks her partner wants her to say,he wants to disconnect her from her family and friends so she is only reliant on him and he can then call the tune.These men are just bullies and would not think of behaving like that with a man,we did what Jadey suggests and my 2DSs met up with him and had a quiet word in his ear,I never asked what was said and have never been told but the mental abuse stopped overnight,keep your door open for her as she will be back I'm sure. Take care of yourself.

jadey my daughter did retract her statement afterwards but the social services have seen the police reports and evidence photos of her injuries , the boy is not allowed into her flat when the children are there whilst they conduct an investigation , i guess i am being punished for ringing them in the first place , ive just spoken to the ss and they have informedme that my daughter has said we had aterrible relationship anyway , i dont know how she can say that she was coming to my house to stay a lot of weekends with the kids and i had all on to get her to go home lol we used to go all over with her children and her sisters . i know that deep down in heart she knows that startement is untrue x

PS There was a time when if abuse was reported to the police and they attended to arrest , the abused person can change their mind and not press charges,

However the law has now changed and if Police attend they WILL arrest him regardless.

So if you suspect abuse you can call the police x

Hello sweetbab How horrid for you, can your husband ar a male member of your family perhaps get involved and perhaps go and speak to the boy to make sure your daughter and her children are ok x

I would keep on to the police and call Social Services.

Really no advice from me sorry but my heart goes out to you.... what a dreadful situation. Many grans here will be far more help than me.