How to deal with mil need advice

Chin up and keep smiling, bubblezz. Plenty of support here. You can come and snap here any time to let off steam [chocs]

Jingle - I did not report your post. I don't really care what you say about me, but I don't like it when new members are not met with kindness and sensitivity.

My two daughters lived in adjoining houses and were both breast feeding. They both agreed that if the other were babysitting it would be all right to breastfeed their nephew if the baby was distressed. Nobody seemed to suffer from this arrangement. They would not have dreamed of doing it if the other sister had not agreed.

My MiL always used to say that anything that was good about my DDs was from their side of the family. Their looks, their intelligence, their musicality etc etc. It used to make me so angry. She also used to say things to her husband in a stage whisper, within my earshot, about what she felt I was doing wrong. I think MiLs think they have the right to be a pain. Grrrr....

When I breast fed my daughters, mothers were encouraged to have regular feeding times every 4 hours. Nowadays I think feeding on demand is the norm. I did think to myself that my GCs seemed to be constantly on the breast and how time consuming and tiring it must be for DDs, but not once did I make a comment, it was none of my business!

I hope MIL gets the message soon. When your baby starts on solids, perhaps you could arm her with some Annabel Karmel recipes and ice cube trays and ask her to freeze you a supply of home made baby meals. It will keep her out of your hair and you may feel generous enough to let her feed your daughter to find her favourites. MIL will feel needed and you might eventually start to appreciate her.

Hang in there, you sound like a lovely Mum and DIL, trying to do your best for the whole family.

Bubble22, as Bags has just said, you'll get so much support on here. Most of us have had mothers-in-law, and ARE mothers-in-law. So many of us know where you're coming from (and also where SHE may be coming from)! The baby is your baby, and you must make the decisions on how she is taken care of. My own mother did try and make comment on how I dealt with some issues, but got nowhere, because I didn't allow her any headway. My MiL left me to it, probably because she saw my mother wasn't getting anywhere!
Could it just be likely, though, that she's asking about your finances just to put her own mind at rest that all's well in that direction, and that you're not struggling now that the baby's here?
Please keep posting.

But please ignore the "Go Bubbles22 posted somewhere on here.

So bad!

Whenim64 - yes I'm looking forward to getting to know the mummy's and getting more advice

Thanks everyone

Who on earth reported jingl's post? Is 'spiteful' any worse than 'unpleasant', for goodness sake...? Unbelievable...

Well I didn't report it but, for the record it needed reporting and her comments to the OP were insensitive to say the least. I'm sick to death of how many times a new person posts on here and has to be spoken to in such a way. And, can I point out it's usually a new poster that does get that treatment from her.

MY ADVICE TO THE ORIGINAL POSTER WAS A BLOODY SIGHT MORE CONSTRUCTIVE THAN SOME OF THE CODSWALLOP DISHED OUT ON HERE.

It was obviously the Gransnet would be bully herself.

I will not take it from her! She is ridiculous!

Oh dear !

Not your fault, Bubble.

Bubble22 we await more interesting contributions to Gransnet from you. I am sure we will not be disappointed.

Tegan, for the record, I did actually make that point about one of jingl's posts recently, but it was suggested by someone that it would be better to ignore such posts and carry on giving out advice to the OP.

I notice that suggestion was not repeated on this thread.

Someone point out to me EXACTLY what was wrong with the advice I gave to the OP. You owe me that much. (two posts)

And please do it before Casualty starts.

Some people on here are hypocrites.

Your advice to the OP to be tolerant and understanding was good, jings. It's good advice to mothesr-in-law too.

Don't worry, bubblezz. Dear old j08 thrives on a good ole jangle or two on gransnet.

She'll swat me for that. You watch

'She probably hopes that her dil will get better too.'

Jingle, do you really need it explaining to you that the above comment was not 'good advice' but just pointlessly unpleasant? Perhaps it would be better if we got back to the OP and/or watched Casualty.
I do hope bubble22 has not let one member put her off us - it is very good to hear things from the DILs point of view.

The mil is not here asking for advice.

That comment was quite likely the truth. Sometimes people need a little wake up call. Before things escalate.