Bluebell, As previously mentioned I just wanted some help with working out if I was being unreasonable.
I always ask, my daughter if she would like me to have her children, I have never got the impression that it was something she did not want. I do not impose myself on her or her family. But I will now reassess that.
The last time I took the children to my pension pot cottage, she let me down with our arrangement and I had to pay someone else to look after the animals; this proved far from satisfactory.
I would not have agreed to take the children this time if I had thought she was going to back out of our agreement again.
The children, love coming away with Granny and my daughter sees it, I am told, as a welcome break, she encourages it.
Yes, she is on her own, as I was, when bringing up my two, however I had no help what so ever so I have moved heaven and earth to support her in every possible way, including giving her'me' time.
My daughter is a life long rider so I guess she likes horses.
I have also said that I will have the children when I am at home should she wish to go away.
She is up in arms because she wants to go to a party a couple hundred of miles away which would then compromise the animal care arrangement. If I don't take the children, she cannot go anyway. Why should I stay at home to fit in with her all the time. The Cottage is my bolt hole to which all children/grandchildren are welcome. She chooses to stay at home on her own.
I forgo quite a lot to help her and the fact she has to miss one party is not unreasonable. She is well into her thirties and had many years of freedom before she chose, to have children. She cannot have it all ways and I am going from feeling that I am being helpful to being misguided and possibly doing too much, which is the original title of the post and to what I wanted some input from.