I must change certain details but not take away from the basics.
My DD had an awful first marriage and was left with a 3 year old child by a violent and unfaithful husband. It took her 5 years to learn to trust and met and married a lovely man 14 years ago, who absolutely adored her and she him.
She has discovered by chance that he has been unfaithful to her for some time - at first he denied everything, lied to cover up his traces and carried on lying until this past week when evidence has come from the other woman herself - I believe she was angry about the relationship being ended by SIL and took the most dreadful revenge.
At long last my DD has the truth, but it is destroying her, as SIL is protesting his love for her, swearing it will never happen again and she is the only one for him, and so on ........
They have 2 young children and for their sake, my DD is going to an initial meeting with Relate to try to make sense of it all, SIL is also attending.
A very brief background but SIL's father is a notorious liar and it ended his marriage, God only knows if it is genetic!!
My DD is totally distraught, had no idea there was anything wrong with her marriage, everything being normal in every aspect, has kept me in the loop about developments but does not want me to tackle SIL in any way, nor to let on how much I know, just in case the marriage can be saved.
I am widowed and for the first time ever am pleased my DH is not here to see all this..the whole family thought the world of SIL, and if asked, would say he is the last person to stray, given his obvious devotion to DD, and his character up till now.
What to do, what to do...I shall honour my DD's wishes of course, but I am involved with child care for her youngest children and obviously want to protect them, but this will mean frequent contact with SIL.
I can only hope that counselling might help them both, or her to be brave to call an end to the marriage, even taking into account the dreadful repercussions with her children who are besotted with SIL.
I am devastated as it was so unexpected and to see my DD going through this trauma again, is a heavy burden for her and for her family who have to stand by and watch her in pain again.
I've got another 'keen'... Ouch!