What a generous relaxed bunch most of you are!!
Whilst I understand on one level that everyone is busy.
Doesn't that dreaded phrase 'We're/I'm soooo busy' ring a little hollow to anyone?
Put it this way, as the advert for G & T says, busy busy SO busy! Too busy for a GnT? Oh no not THAT busy!
Surely they can find/make time to drop a quick call or more enjoyable, find 15mins to see one another?
It seems like there has been an emotional c-change, family isn't as important now. Well, that outside of the 2.4 (as it was).
Please don't jump on me with the evidence of how much time some of you DO spend together. I'm glad if you do. Of course everyone is different. My own AC's have individual attitudes over meeting up.
One likes pre arranged social engagements, another is in a spin and I don't quite know when or if I will see them.
But one is very hands on. Just calls on the phone for a 'catch up', very casual, and very enjoyable. The closeness builds with regularity. We don't have to talk about anything special, but the fact that they have put themselves out to think of me/us and act on it does warm the cockles of my heart. Makes everything between us....easier.
Whereas, the most difficult one is getting ever more hum...difficult! Not only does this make our relationship one sided (I bend over backwards trying too hard to keep things on an even keel) There is an ever growing....deadness around our relationship. I feel more like a maiden aunt than a mother. A duty rather than a loved one.
So even within my family the AC's have chosen their own way.
Maybe in the past, there was a vestige of, I don't know, an emotional need which made people visit parents more regularly? Not sure.
I know I wanted to build an adult relationship with my parents, my mother didn't so that's another story.
As I grew up everyone would say, don't forget your mother gave birth to you.......or you'll only get one mother...remember she's done such and such for you.
Of course this doesn't mean you have to be a hostage to deference, but these emotional nudges did bring home what our Mums did for us Thankless kids!
Now there seems to be more focus on the fact that as a good parent you should do more and more for your children. But not necessarily the other way around.
In 3 generations of my family we've gone from children leaving school early to get jobs and giving all the money they earned over to their mothers/family and getting pocket money back! To parents working 2 jobs just to get the children into uni!!
Maybe the emphasise of the family is reversed now. The parents (and by default the GP) are expected to focus on the younger generation therefore, when they become parents they just focus on their children etc. Not thinking much about the other end of the family.
I know I hate the I'm busy caveat.
Just feels like someone is saying 'I'm sooooo busy doing what ever, and you come down there at the bottom of all of it!'
I'm in a post Christmas dolldrum so ignore me if I'm barking up the wrong tree!!
Suffice to say, I hope my drivel hasn't depressed you, and someone else can give you some really helpful advice which jogs your AC's into action Luckylegs9.
Other than that treat yourself to something excessively comforting.