Walking on Eggshells

I didn’t realise what I was getting into with my first husband. I should have known my dad refused to go to the wedding. He was a control freak and possessive with me I couldn’t see it.
I was spending a lot of time on my own too much time and when he was home he was a stranger. Because he didn’t want to be with us he was living a double life.
I had a three year old son and baby daughter life was very difficult. I knew I had to do something about it. I won’t go into detail but it was a nightmare of an existence with the new addition of physical abuse.
You do need legal advice and the finances in order. The last thing you need on top of separation are money worries. You get one life nobody can change it but you so be strong.

Make sure the next chapter of your life is happy.
Leave.
Good luck.

Please leave!

I suffered that for 10 yrs then left him, best thing I ever did, because I quickly found a man who’s does care for me. A big leap into the unknown, make sure you have a plan and some cash to see you through the first few months. Because it can easily take a year to get paid out

Gosh you poor lady - you get less for murder! I think you know that for your own sanity you have to leave. Take your time planning your escape to ensure the best possible outcome for your future security. Do you have any support in real life - adult children or close friends? I'd start off with legal advice and a leaving plan. Everyone deserves to be happy OP so be kind to yourself from now on and stop pampering to him and his tantrums. Good luck OP you CAN do this. Hugs and flowers to you.

I walked away from a marriage after 32 years Sue110 and NEVER looked back.
And ironically my sons said i should have done so earlier than i did.

Take some time to look at your joint finances and then get some advice as to what you can expect to get if you divorce Sue.

In a situation like this, knowledge is power and by having all the information you need, you'll be able to make an informed decision.

It's a lot more than money of course, your happiness and well being are priceless and ultimately those need to take priority.

Good luck.

After 16 years of this Sue its more than time to call it a day. Have you ever confronted him about his behaviour?
Find out how you stand financially etc and get some legal advice if necessary. It will be hard but the end result with peace of mind will be worth it. Good luck.

You’re right, you deserve more, it sounds as though he will never change, don’t put up with it any longer.

why would you stay ?

I feel very sorry for you Sue
It’s not nice to be treated as if you don’t exist and ignored. Surely you must feel really downtrodden after 16 years of this treatment?
I decided years ago (15) to remain single after I separated from my ex and I’m not very tolerant of men with bad behaviour and habits.
l wouldn’t put up with it and be treated so disrespectfully.
You do deserve better!

I had an abusive husband so after 24 years of marriage I left
Sadly though this ruined my relationship with my oldest adult child

You are in a abusive relationship.
Leave and dont look back

Thank you

Don’t put up with this mental abuse any more.
See a solicitor without him knowing and make sure you have details of any bank accounts etc he has or anything else financial and then leave and start divorce proceedings.
I’d rather be chained to the devil than live with someone like this.
Just who does he think he is?

I agree with Esspee.

I think leaving would be the healthiest thing to do. Enjoy the rest of your life without the stress you are under at the moment. Good luck.