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Everyone 'too busy' or is ti me?

(64 Posts)
JackyB Tue 27-Apr-21 09:46:03

It's not clear if the people MollyAA12 in the OP is talking about are retired or working. Speaking for myself, since I retired and certainly since lock down, I do find myself increasingly going through all the things I have to do and clogging my thoughts up with plans. I don't let that stop me from willingly dropping everything for a phone call or meeting someone (when it's allowed) but I can imagine some people might.

Lucca Tue 27-Apr-21 06:30:42

I think super busy people are sometimes very insensitive to someone who doesn’t have much going on in their life. It can sound very smug ‘ oh I’m so busy ....rushed off my feet...school run....family meal....”

Kim19 Tue 27-Apr-21 05:59:55

My pal goes through every new diary and randomly puts a score through one different day every week. These are days she keeps free no matter what is on offer. This is for the purpose of unwinding/recharging. I find that a bit excessive but it seems to work for her. I don't mind being busy but really dislike last minute arrangements and only indulge them if some sort of minor emergency has taken place.

GlamGran60 Tue 27-Apr-21 04:39:20

I love being busy, sorry. But it doesn't mean that I can't see my friends. In fact that's one of the reasons I'm busy. I am retired. I do a little consultancy, I am a Governor at a local college, a trustee of a charity, I swim, do yoga, walk the dog, am writing a children's story, look after my grandson. I try to do as many things with friends as possible, meet up for a walk or a swim etc. I love it all! Life is for packing experience into whenever you can.
As for the diary, yes, I keep an electronic diary. If I didn't I wouldn't remember that Jacqui had said 11 for our walk tomorrow.
Perhaps the issue is our understanding and expectations of the word busy? In the OPs post she sees that anyone using the word is telling her that they don't have time for her. It could be that like me, they genuinely love being active and busy. Next time someone says this MollyAA12, try to avoid thinking that you are being given the brush off! They might just be a plate-spinner! Grab that 3/4 of an hour and make sure your friend has a coffee break that day!
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Gitorelov Tue 27-Apr-21 04:07:13

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Savvy Sat 17-Apr-21 21:25:08

Had not has.

Savvy Sat 17-Apr-21 21:24:15

I have the same issue, I live alone, rarely got out even before lockdown due to disability, and I can count on one hand the number of phonecalls I've has from friends in the last 12 months. Calls I make to them are rarely answered.

I feel like the forgotten toy in the back of the cupboard.

Doodledog Sat 17-Apr-21 21:15:10

Looking in a diary to make sure that someone is not double booked is only manners, surely? If they didn't, there could be a situation where one or other appointment has to be cancelled, which would be bad manners, IMO.

Redhead56 Sat 17-Apr-21 21:09:44

If I get that type of vibe from someone they don’t get my attention again. As for looking in diaries to see if they have time to fit you in I would happily tell them where to stick them.

EllanVannin Sat 17-Apr-21 19:29:49

This has baffled me for long enough now too. It's as though nobody has any time for you or anyone else come to think about it.
I'm aware that time does fly and seems to do so at break-neck speed for reasons unknown.
Everything's done by appointment, or timed visits.

There'd have been a time when I'd have felt quite despondent but have learnt to live with the fact that there's no such thing as a leisurely couple of hours chat with anyone because they're " too busy ".

Admittedly these lockdowns haven't helped those of us who do have time on our hands, particularly if you're on your own, but then again I appreciate those who still have families or elderly parents to see to as it's difficult for them to break off what they're doing. They haven't got the same freedom either.

However I do get your meaning about everyone being in a hurry all the time . I don't bother with anyone really and the neighbour only nails me when it suits her if she's either waiting for a delivery or a call on her phone. I feel like a bloomin' convenience grin I'd love to turn round and say " sorry, can't talk, I'm too busy ", but I'm not made that way.

I could end up like Diana in " Waiting for God ". grin Who knows ?

I like undivided attention and not someone who'll fit me in, in between meetings/ appointments etc. at their convenience.

kircubbin2000 Sat 17-Apr-21 18:41:51

I don't know what all these people are doing. I know some can't bear to be alone in the house and can't sit down with a book. Oh I never watch tv they say, I haven't time.
One friend can only phone me when her husband is busy or out, joined at the hip.

keepingquiet Sat 17-Apr-21 18:28:58

I'm not busy. I'm bored out of my brain. We could make a club?

Sara1954 Sat 17-Apr-21 18:23:25

I’m not retired, but I sympathise with your friends. I don’t feel like I’ve got any leisure time at all. I feel guilty about neglecting some of my friends, and feel I’ve let some down, but there are only so many hours in a day sadly.

MollyAA12 Sat 17-Apr-21 18:18:58

Is it me? I am getting so tired of people saying 'I am so busy' and not finding time just to phone you. Everyone seems to be 'chasing their tail' and rushing around doing things.
I know people who, when things are normal, say that they will look in their diaries to see if they can see you.

One friend (who I no longer contact) volunteers at a cathedral and will say 'Oh I can see you for 3/4 hour in the Cathedral cafe' Alternatively she will see you and then stand up and say 'Oh I must go, off to the Book Club etc.'

I have now reached the stage where I do not really phone many people because I am tired of the refrain 'I am so busy'
I never outstay my welcome metaphorically but a lot of people like to give the impression that they are in deamand and ever so busy.

I aksed one lady if she was enjoying her retirement. 'Yes' she said 'I am VERY busy',

Does anyone enjoy a leisurely time any more?