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Daughter's relationships - always end the same

(31 Posts)
BlueBelle Wed 09-Jun-21 18:49:12

Totally see what you are saying hollysteers it’s very different making a decision to prefer being alone to having lost someone and failing to find anyone else suitable and that is hard very hard on your daughter and on you I m not going into any details but I understand how worrying it is
I m not sure there is anything you can do but support her

hollysteers Wed 09-Jun-21 18:33:16

MOnica you make some good points, but you are generalising. The OPs daughter wants someone to share her life with, it is a natural human need for many men and women.
At 41, she clearly has decided that she does not want to be alone.
Loneliness is a great problem and although you paint a rosy picture of an independent old age, the truth is that that is not the case for a large proportion of the population.

Oopsadaisy1 Wed 09-Jun-21 18:23:02

Why on earth do you want her to see a Doctor? she isn’t ill.

I echo what MOnica says.

M0nica Wed 09-Jun-21 16:55:11

I am curious why you think your daughters happy future can only happen with a partner?

My DD decided very young that she was not suited to being in a partnership or having children. She is coming up to 50 now and has made a happy and independent life for herself. She has her own home and plenty of friends, male and female, has been able to concentrate on her career without needing to juggle it with childcare.

I have several female friends who have never married and, now heading for 80, and live independent social lives, with close family contacts with siblings and nieces and nephews.

It is time we stopped assuming that a relationship was the be all and end all of life and you cannot be happy and secure without one.

Perhaps, if you encouraged your daughters to realise that having a partner is not a sign of success, or an answer to life's problems, they have surely discovered that by now, and that, while they would prefer a partner, they should try seeing the future in terms of being proud and successful single women.

crazyH Wed 09-Jun-21 16:38:36

Snap Skydancer.......you could be talking about my daughter...same scenario. I worry about her so much. Since her divorce from the father of her children, she has not a steady relationship. She has 2 teenage children, who will soon be going to University. I am not going to be here forever. She is a difficult girl ...even her brothers say so.
But there’s nothing we can do Skydancer, but hope and pray that things will change.
Her dad and I are divorced and that has been hard on her. She was close to her Dad, but since he remarried, things have changed.
Let’s hope our daughters will find happiness eventually .

Skydancer Wed 09-Jun-21 16:22:49

I'm worried about my DD (41), single parent. Since the break-up from her child's father she has had a string of hopeless relationships. I can see what's wrong. As soon as someone becomes interested in her she becomes clingy, texting and phoning constantly. Men get fed up with it but she can't see it. Her father and I parted when she was small and this must have affected her but he has always been a constant presence in her life. The problems seemed to have started at puberty once the hormones kicked in when she became moody and difficult.

She wants to meet someone to share her life with. I've suggested internet dating. She won't hear of it. I've suggested counselling. She says it's a waste of time. She won't go to a doctor. She just can't see where she's going wrong. She's pretty and intelligent and people are attracted her but they don't hang around because of the constant messaging. I know she needs help. I try to sympathise and do a lot of practical things for her but I'm getting older and can't cope with the stress of it all.

I doubt if anyone can help but am just wondering if anyone else has had this kind of problem with an AC and how it ended up. I can't bear the thought of her being alone in her old age. She cries a lot and loses interest in everything once a relationship ends. Then she picks up a bit and off we go again till the next one. The pattern is the same every time.