Older child sleeping with mum

“That’s all folks “??

Shanavine

That's

???
Posted too soon?

That's

My SIL was a very poor sleeper and she would go in with her mum a lot and her poor dad would go through to her bed.She did this until she was nearly 20.She has suffered from awful anxiety all her life and is now in her 60's and still panics about even the smallest things.She cant make a decision quickly even choosing a lampshade can take months! We think if she's had treatment in her teens she would have had an easier life.Your OH's daughter may wellneed some help with the underlying cause of her anxiety.Dont be annoyed,HELP her .

But far far from normal for a teenager
By 17 mine were practically tucking me up on their way out

BlueBelle

It very much sounds to me as if Shanavine resents how much time the SO's daughter needs, eating into the time he(?) gets with his partner.

Unfortunately, it sounds as if the daughter needs the support of her mum. So Shanavine, you can stay and tolerate it, trying your best to add no extra stress to the daughter. If you cause any of the stress already, OR if you add to it by being pushy or resentful, it sounds as if it'll just push your partner further away from you.

Or of course, you can leave. If you really can't bear to tolerate it. Because since you're not the father, you don't get a say in how the mother acts.

Weird thread !

Shanavine

Rude

Not very helpful Shanavine especially when members are trying to understand and to be helpful

This is the dad. All sounds unusual.Is she 17 or 7?

What is rude ? Posters have asked for more explanation that’s all

Rude

Yes my partner

There could be some other factors OP is unaware of.

It is none of her business anyway

It doesn’t say she s 7 doidlebug I queried it as it’s more behaviour associated with 7 and as there are other mistakes in the post maybe the number ‘1’ got in my accident
You also query that it seemed odd behaviour for a 17 year old doodlebug !
I don’t care what relationship this person is in but it’s all very unclear and it s so much easier to answer someone when you can get the picture in your head of who is who and what is what
It wasn’t a criticism

Why does the gender of the OP matter in this context? We know that the SO is female, as is her 17 year old daughter (where does it say she might be 7?), so it's not a case of a father and daughter being in bed together. It is irrelevant whether the OP is in a same sex or straight relationship.

Maybe we should wait until the original poster comes back and explains
I don’t know whether the poster is male or female, father or mother or a step parent or whether the child is 7 or 17;

The last sentence says she’s fit and well and has no issues well that’s nonsense she obviously has huge mental health/anxiety issues if she needs tucking in resassuring there’s no bogey men and waking everyone up at 4 am this is very much not normal 17 year old behaviour and not even 7 year old either

I read it as the SO is the female partner of the OP, and the 17 year old daughter is not the OP's, but the 'child' of the partner.

(I'm not sure that's expressed any more clearly than the OP ?)

It seems a bit odd to me, as 17 year olds are usually more independent than that, but I'm not sure it's something to actively worry about.

I'd be a bit annoyed at being woken at 4.00am to be told that someone else couldn't sleep, though! If the daughter were 7, I'd put up and shut up, but by 17 I'd be expecting her to be dealing with it herself unless she has issues not disclosed in the OP.

Teacher Anne, I get into bed with my sister of a morning to have a cuppa when I stay at hers. (Provided her DH is not in it!)

I think Shanavine is in a same sex relationship isn't she ?

Sounds like the teenager is a bit anxious and this is a way of dealing with it. I wouldn't worry about it Shanavine unless it's impacting on your life together.

Sorry, meant to say her dad, my husband.

That’s lovely Teacheranne

I think the original poster is the step father whose stepdaughter, when he’s working away from home, gets into bed with his partner.

It is unusual I guess but maybe there were some difficult times before he was around which have led to a very close relationship. My daughter still gets into my bed in the morning if she is staying over, she is 35 now! But she has never slept all night in my bed, not even as a baby. This habit started when my dad left under somewhat difficult circumstances and she was struggling to cope. I think she didn’t like seeing me in bed on my own when she brought me a coffee in the morning - took over that job from her dad, and just hopped into bed for a cuddle. It then continued in the holidays when she went to University and has noe become a lovely tradition.

Very strange. !

What’s a ‘ significant other’ daughter? I don’t follow this either. Another wind up maybe?

Bluebellwould

Is Shanavine the dad or the mother or stepdad? I’m confused too.

Stepmother?