petitpois
Oh I can relate (see what I did there! ) to this! My DH's youngest could not stand me to begin with (feeling was fairly mutual at the time). I refused to give in to her game playing and her father could see straight through it too. I was never rude or said anything negative about her to him of course but I could see how she manipulated scenarios so that I was made to feel unwelcome at family dos. Eventually she realised she wouldn't have her way though and she's thawed. I wouldn't say we have the best relationship but it's much improved. I didn't think I'd have had the courage to stand my ground for so long but I did and it worked in the long term. My DH is very nearly worth it .
Hi petitpois. Congratulations on improving the relationship with your step daughter. It's not always easy. But I guess you can see things from her point of view, that it's difficult to accept new family members, however nice they may be. You showed consistency and stood your ground without criticising her and things have improved, that's the main thing.