Please bear with me. I'm new here. I've been with my partner 11 years, and over the years feel totally worn down by him. When I met him he was an alcoholic, no children and living at home after returning from a failed music venture in the US.
He stopped drinking and instead began to build a business.
We married 2011. I have 2 grown children and one grandaughter. This year had been pretty awful. He has relapsed 5 times and each time tells me he is leaving me - I can't pro create, among other things.
His office is always locked ( large converted garsenal shed). I'm not allowed a key. His phone is constantly on silent and in his waist bag. He travels for meetings and I have no idea really where he is. Weekends he mainly works unless we visit his parents. He gives me no help at home for two reasons
1) the house belongs to me and is in a trust for my children. He won't see a penny.
2) my daughter, partner and grand daughter live with us. It is suppose to be short term while they save for a deposit.
He has never forgiven me for putting the house in a trust.
I can't sell while kids are here. I can't legally make him leave. Some days I think it's all going to be okay, and others I feel dead.
On top of this I'm facing having a denture for 3 upper teeth which I know he will hate. I'm already down about it, and feel I'm literally rolling up into the end of life, all my dreams gone, no prospect of finding anyone new even if the marriage ended.
I'm only 53. I just needed to write this. Because it's very lonely. Thank you for reading.
Anger management!!! Help needed.