Gransnet forums

Alarm Bells Ringing?

(39 Posts)
CamJ Mon 25-Mar-19 17:07:58

Best Friend has just discovered DH is having an affair with much younger woman with four DC and two exes.
DH has already given given new woman significant amount of cash - my alarm bells are ringing are yours?

EllanVannin Mon 25-Mar-19 17:12:14

Sounds ominous !

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 25-Mar-19 17:13:47

She sounds like trouble in more ways than one, I'm afraid.

NanaandGrampy Mon 25-Mar-19 17:18:46

Wouldn’t your alarm bells start ringing at the word ‘affair’ regardless of younger ex wives , money or children ?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

sodapop Mon 25-Mar-19 17:19:51

Bells are deafening, tell your friend to get her finances out of his reach. Must be buying
sex affection.

BlueBelle Mon 25-Mar-19 19:12:47

Is this your first post CamJ ?
Is this your business ?

Namsnanny Mon 25-Mar-19 19:16:43

Good point Bluebelle, perhaps more to the point how helpful is it?

Chewbacca Mon 25-Mar-19 19:21:53

My alarm bells are ringing for several reasons.....

M0nica Mon 25-Mar-19 19:24:31

I am sure your best friend's alarm bells are ringing also. I hope you are being supportive and encouraging her to protect her position.

aggie Mon 25-Mar-19 19:26:06

alarm bells are a bit late , horses and bolted gates spring to mind

Squiffy Mon 25-Mar-19 20:17:49

Surely the alarm bells should have been ringing before the affair was discovered, not after!!! confused 😉

Jalima1108 Mon 25-Mar-19 20:25:44

Is this your first post, CamJ, if so welcome smile

(where's kittylester?)

MawBroon Mon 25-Mar-19 20:31:32

....when you want her...

Lily65 Mon 25-Mar-19 20:34:02

Some bells are dinging alright, ting a ling a ling.

Ginny42 Mon 25-Mar-19 20:40:43

Oh dear and the worst feeling is that everyone probably knew about it but you. So now she needs to be practical and as sodapop says, get the finances separated. If she's planning to divorce him then there are immediate steps she must take to secure her future. She's probably in shock at the moment, but this is where friends can support her to stay focused on her needs. Legal advice is essential and you could offer to go along with her for support. The best thing you can do to help your friend is just be there to listen.

Day6 Mon 25-Mar-19 20:42:29

Hmmm. I am surprised the OP had to ask the question.

I'd say let him have his fun, boys will be boys, and his wife can turn a blind eye to it all. And smash those pesky alarm bells with a hammer. Not.

Sigh. hmm

BlueBelle Mon 25-Mar-19 23:16:28

My alarm bells are saying is this ................

Apricity Tue 26-Mar-19 01:47:00

More than alarm bells are ringing here, this is a case of for whom the bell tolls.....
Your friend is going to need lots of support, practical and emotional, advice offered only when asked for and a listening heart.

kittylester Tue 26-Mar-19 08:41:49

No internet!!!!

Welcome op, if you are new!

kittylester Tue 26-Mar-19 08:42:26

And, what a good title for your thread!

annodomini Tue 26-Mar-19 09:08:56

They 'need to talk'.

Jalima1108 Tue 26-Mar-19 10:10:00

It's good to talk annodomini

harrigran Tue 26-Mar-19 11:13:31

The very reason most women have their own bank accounts. No man would ever buy favours with my cash.

vickya Tue 26-Mar-19 11:21:46

Previous posters are right, secure your finances. Camj you should support your friend in doing this asap. Then she can decide how she feels and how she wants to go on. Putting some money out of his reach might make the husband think again if he wants his marriage to continue and the friend might think too. It would be good so secure the money before having a scene about it, if she has not yet done so.

Lilyflower Tue 26-Mar-19 13:27:11

Frankly, in this case, the loss of the money is far worse than the loss of a selfish bounder. Secure the cash is my advice.