I’ve been married to DH for two years but we have been together five years total. I’ve only met my MIL maybe five or six times since his family lives on the other side of the country from us. The problem is, she doesn’t like me and never has and DH is now starting to realize this. I’ve tried really hard to give her time with her son, include her in things, rearrange my schedule to go visit and help out when she needs it and generally just try to be really nice. Throughout the course of my relationship with DH she has constantly said and done really hurtful things and it’s starting to affect my marriage. Some recent examples include her telling my DH daily how lazy I am even though I was taking care of the baby and the house literally 24 hours a day 7 days a week because he was always at work or sleeping and didn’t help at all and I went back to my college classes immediately after DS was born, she has lied to my DH about me, insists that DH spend all his money on her and not his family, telling me how i should look and mocking me for being skinny (yes, I know that sounds petty), telling my DH all the things I should be doing and that he should be doing nothing since apparently the baby and house are my sole responsibility. She made my entire post-partum time about her. We paid for her to visit a week after DS was born and she spent the entire time shopping and wanted DH to leave me and DS at home to spend time alone with her and caused arguments when we said no and seem pleased when DH and I would argue. She pretended as if I didn’t even exist when DS was born and ignored me but then complained when I left the room. She didn’t even want to spend time with DS when she met him. She only wanted to spend time with her son and be catered to. Now she’s taken to excluding me when she sends gifts for the family. DH and I have no idea how to proceed and we could really use some advice. We have tried setting boundaries and she ignores them and DH has tried talking to her in the past and we’ll, that only made things worse. I didn’t post to mumsnet because I don’t want to cut her off but we also can’t go on like this. We just want everyone to be civil to each other. What should we do? Any suggestions?
Can’t stop dwelling my problems - obsessive thoughts
I'm now seriously missing out - feeling miffed
I hate the name they're giving her - have to bite my tongue